Because I’m nothing if not a scientist, I’ve been experimenting with deodorant lately.
- Hypothesis: Anti perspirants make me itch.
- Experiment: Apply Mitchum anti perspirant under arms.
- Results: Ow! Ow! Itchy! Hand me the Golden Grahams! I’m going to kill someone!
- Analyze Results: Itchy? Yes. The hypothesis is true.
- Report Results: Hey, you guys? Anti perspirant makes me itch.
I’ve found that the only deodorant that doesn’t make me itch is Tom’s. A few days back I ran out of the lavender scent, so I headed to the store. They, too, had run out of lavender, so I settled for Calendula. When I got home, Harper demanded that I let her smell the Calendula.
Harper: What is this?
Me: It’s Caligula. No! Wait. Calendula.
Harper: Meredith, smell this. It’s Mommy’s uvula.
Me: Calendula! HA HA HA HA!
Me (six hours later, telling Jeff the whole story, because that’s what I do): And then, and then, and then Harper told Meredith to come over and smell my uterus! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Jeff: I don’t get it.
Me: Wait! Uvula.
Jeff: Huh?
Me: Yeah. Anyway. Um, Ramona sneezed today. And on a lighter note, I folded towels.
23 responses so far ↓
1 Melissa // May 19, 2009 at 9:45 pm
I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve been getting some random site for days now, and here you are. Happy sigh.
And really, try to avoid the kids sniffing you. :-)
2 Mitzi // May 19, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Thank goodness your armpits aren’t itchy any longer and they don’t really smell like endometrium.
You do have a gynecological theme going lately.
When was the last time you used a turkey baster anyway?
3 Linda // May 19, 2009 at 11:36 pm
It took me a couple of times reading this for my brain to process “uvula” and not “vulva”. Too many gynecological items on the brain!
4 No Minimom // May 20, 2009 at 6:39 am
Glad to hear you found an anti-perspirant that works. Otherwise I’m not sitting at the same crop table as you. ;-)
5 elsimom // May 20, 2009 at 9:24 am
My dad has a lot of skin sensitivities, and he simply mixes baking soda with talc, and applies it with a puff (well – he probably wouldn’t call it a puff, but I do). It works! He doesn’t stink, and he doesn’t itch. Of course, he still perspires – it’s a deodorant, not an antiperspirant -but in my experience, even the best antiperspirants will allow you to perspire at some point.
6 Courtney // May 20, 2009 at 10:09 am
The Tom’s stuff is fantastic!
7 Brinski // May 20, 2009 at 10:19 am
Insightful, brutally honest and pithy… that’s why we like you so much.
8 Shannon // May 20, 2009 at 10:39 am
Huh, I have both of your armpits in my garden. Neither is blooming right now.
9 patois // May 20, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I definitely fold towels more than have my kids showt to mell my uvula.
10 patois // May 20, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Okay. Now that comment was all effed-up. I’m obviously having difficulty typing whilst folding towels. What I meant to type was:
I definitely fold towels more than have my kids shout to smell my uvula.
Whew! One-armed typing is tough!
11 cybrpunk // May 20, 2009 at 3:00 pm
So what’s a calendula???
12 beyond // May 20, 2009 at 4:35 pm
i like tom’s deodorant too, i use the lavander spray kind. my very favorite kind is weleda (citrus). good for you for smearing natural products under your arms. your girls will never say: mommy smells like aluminum!
13 David // May 20, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Tiffany bought me some cologne called Nomad from Crabtree & Evelyn and on the bottle is printed, “By appointment to HRH The Prince of Wales Suppliers of fine Toiletries” The moral of this story? David=smells like Prince Charles!
14 JP // May 21, 2009 at 5:41 pm
I just love that you always seem to make me laugh. :) That is all.
Well, that and I wish you nothing but itch-free pits!
15 Isabella Golightly // May 22, 2009 at 5:18 am
What sort of towels are we talking about exactly here?
16 Surcie // May 22, 2009 at 8:39 am
This is classic Angela. Love it!
17 txsjewels // May 22, 2009 at 2:12 pm
first time reader. Love. it. still laughing at the “about me” list. priceless. please post a pic of your georgia o’keefe hands tattoo.
you are a nut and i think i’m in love with you. except that you smell like lady parts. ew.
i’ll be back.
18 Alli // May 23, 2009 at 2:54 pm
I hate the smell of edometrium in the morning!
19 Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy // May 24, 2009 at 9:51 pm
I’ve found that if I wear a deodorant for too long, my arm pits begin to itch. I have to switch about once a month. Of course, I also have a slew of odd skin allergies. so, there’s that.
20 Katie // May 26, 2009 at 8:49 am
My husband uses Tom’s toothpaste because he’s allergic to something in normal people’s toothpaste. That Tom. He’s a clever dude. Makin’ products for all the allergy challenged folks out there…
21 Zoot // May 27, 2009 at 10:27 am
My daughter has a very weird obsession with deoderant and always calls it The Rodeo. She would have fit into your conversation quite nicely I believe.
22 Michelle // May 28, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I had the same issue with itchy underarms but I’ve found the clinical strength stuff doesn’t bother me like the regular stuff does. Weird.
23 Velma // Jun 1, 2009 at 9:24 pm
This morning, my son demanded a flashlight after brushing his teeth, and then started shouting from the bathroom, “MOM! I CAN SEE MY NEBULA!”
:)