Did you hear the rumbling noise yesterday morning at approximately 11:30 CST? That, my friend, was me becoming a soccer mom. I’m not quite sure what the new job entails, other than hauling the kids around three or four times each week for practices and games.
Also, I believe it means I need more skirts. Here is my most recent fabric choice:
In my breezy world, everyone needs a skirt with spooky trees. And the apples make it the perfect skirt for meeting the teacher on Wednesday evening, don’t you think? (School starts on Thursday. School starts on Thursday! And suddenly, it’s almost Christmas.)
This morning on the way to get flu shots, we passed by a pizza dump.
Me: Wait! Roll down your windows. Do you smell the pizza crust baking?!
Meredith: That’s not pizza. That’s my burning flesh.
Five minutes later, she asked if I have ever been arrested. When I told her I have not, she made it clear that she did not believe me.
I’ll miss Meredith when school starts.
24 responses so far ↓
1 The Coffee Lady // Aug 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Spooky trees! I so want a skirt with spooky trees. Why does my fabric shop have no damn spooky trees?
2 Melissa // Aug 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I adore Meredith. Simply adore her. :-) Welcome to the West County Soccer Mom Club. It can be an interesting place. . . . I swore I would never become one. Guess I sealed the deal when I said never.
3 fluidpudding // Aug 10, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Coffee Lady–Don’t lose hope! http://favoritefabrics.homestead.com/zoom_qt_wizapple.html
Melissa–I’m sure Meredith would adore you, too.
4 C @ Kid Things // Aug 10, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Your daughter sounds great. Those trees are.. spooky.
5 Mrs Chaos // Aug 10, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Oh my word, that child is hilarious.
I also have to wonder why she feels that she should doubt your (lack-of) jail time.
So funny.
6 Kathleen Wreath // Aug 10, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I love the girls soccer pic! The look like “fun” daughters!
7 Deidre // Aug 10, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Playing soccer in crocs – love it!
I don’t believe you either – you obviously spent some time behind bars ;)
8 Rhi // Aug 10, 2009 at 9:08 pm
My boss called me a future soccer mom last week. And, then I got fired for giving him a black eye.
(kidding on the last part, I only WANTED to give him a black eye)
9 Carole // Aug 10, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Gah!!! The trees in the Wizard of Oz disturbed me tremendously as a child and to this day creep me out! I’ll be having nightmares tonight…thanks for that!
10 brit // Aug 10, 2009 at 11:05 pm
I love that kid…
11 Badger // Aug 11, 2009 at 7:56 am
How do you expect the kid to have any street cred if her mom’s never been arrested, for crying out loud? Well, fortunately there’s still time before Thursday. Maybe knock over a bank or something, real quick-like. And wear that skirt; it’ll help identify you in the lineup.
12 You can call me, 'Sir' // Aug 11, 2009 at 8:54 am
You should always answer ‘yes’ to their queries about a criminal past. It works better if you have a tattoo to go along with the story. And maybe you can fashion a shiv for them to admire. Then at soccer practice, they can announce to all within earshot, ‘My mommy will cut a bitch!’ and no one will try to steal the ball from them ever again.
13 Amy in KC // Aug 11, 2009 at 10:28 am
Pair that skirt with a kicky apple green sweater, some tights and comfy shoes and you are all set for Autumn Marching Band Season! Funnel cakes! Terrible “country” artwork stands! Hooray!
14 Deanna // Aug 11, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Pizza dump? I’m not familiar with that term. Perhaps that’s because in the south we have barbecue shacks. I imagine it’s the same sort of thing.
15 FP Fan // Aug 11, 2009 at 7:26 pm
I think being a soccer mom brings one to new levels of cool accountability. Not that I am one, but I just have that feeling. Just imagine the conversations you could have with Meredith with this involved http://store.baconsalt.com/Bacon-Lip-Balm_p_40.html
“Hey–roll down your windows, do you smell that fantastic breakfast diner down the street?”
“Roll ‘em up. That’s just your bacon lip balm…again.”
Plus think of the other soccer moms you could fool into believing that you whipped up the whole team a fabulous nutritious meal when they come to pick the kids up from your house! From the makers of Baconnaise!
No, I don’t blame you at all if you block my IP from comments.
16 Lori // Aug 12, 2009 at 12:35 am
I think I just scared my neighbor’s cat with my sudden shriek of laughter. (did I spell shriek correctly? I don’t think it looks right. Shriek? It looks more like Shrek everytime I right it. What was I saying?)
Oh, yes, the “that’s my flesh burning” made me shriek with laughter (it must be right, my spell checker isn’t yelling at me) and I had to re-read the post several times to see if I missed something. Thank you for that.
And, while I support your clothing making choices, I can’t get behind that fabric now that I’ve made the connection to the Wizard of Oz…. That part of the movie scared the crap out of me as a kid…
17 Lori // Aug 12, 2009 at 12:36 am
Also (because my stupid comment wasn’t rambling enough) I meant “…every time I write it” not “right”… I’m embarrassed for me. And still rambling. sheesh.
18 Isabella Golightly // Aug 12, 2009 at 6:21 am
So, is this an Alice’s Restaurant moment? “”What’re you in for, kid?” “Littering”. And they all moved away from me on the Group W bench. ”
You devil. I knew you had it in you.
19 Lara // Aug 12, 2009 at 11:21 am
Meredith is HILARIOUS. You have some cute and delightfulyl quirky kids, lady! :)
Also? JEALOUS that school is starting for you this week and simultaneously feeling JIPPED on behalf of your kids. It’s too EARLY! What about SUMMER! Please tell me they get off in early June…
20 Average Jane // Aug 12, 2009 at 2:50 pm
That fabric design is all kinds of awesome!
21 pharmgirl // Aug 13, 2009 at 8:45 pm
LOVE IT.
I was once almost run in for posing in a swimsuit atop the Sundrop machine outside the Union WalMart.
I know some glorious soccer moms (of which I am one). My advice to you:
Buy a cowbell
Bring cool snacks
22 Carroll // Aug 14, 2009 at 11:04 am
I dunno, FP…don’tcha think Harper’s likely to grow out of those shorts kinda fast?
23 Mocha // Aug 15, 2009 at 6:41 pm
That FP fan is onto something with bacon flavored lip balm. MY GOD, IT’S GOT TO BE INVENTED ALREADY.
Ok, onto the cuteness of Meredith. Where oh where to begin? She is amazingly CUTE. And SMART. And has the wit of her mother.
Can’t wait to see the skirt you’ll make of that fabric. It’ll be cool I’m sure. Take a picture of you wearing it at a soccer game with a cowbell in hand. That would make your Cool Points go over the edge.
24 jane // Aug 20, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Tree fabric is too scary.