Comments on: The real question is: Am I smart/patient enough?

By: orooni on ravelry

orooni on ravelry — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:02:35 +0000

You spelled doughnut ‘doughnut’! You are awesome.

By: OMSH

OMSH — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 07:32:43 +0000

We’ve done Montessori, then public, then homeschool, then back to public b/c I let myself get buried and overwhelmed, then back to homeschool because middle school DOES suck and was literally pulling the creative, inspiring, hilarious nature from my (then) 5th grader.

Been back at it nearly 2 years now and would not trade it for the world.

Some days rock.
Some days suck.
We can do it all in pjs if we want.
Socialization in public schools – BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, had to laugh at that one.

By: inglesidebelle

inglesidebelle — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 20:43:29 +0000

An interesting fact: my 23 yo son, who was homeschooled through high school (with the exception of K-half of second grade and 7th and half of 8th grades) is now teaching 6th grade at a brick and mortar school. He’s seen some mean and hurtful behavior among students at that school. Although he and I butted heads many times especially during his high school years, he always knew that I had his best interests at heart and now that he’s a teacher, he’s glad that he was homeschooled. He had quite an active social life in high school and easily adjusted to the college scene. Research shows that homeschooled students do well in college. Colleges welcome them because they have good study skills, thinking skills and writing skills.

To get back to the original question: do you have enough patience and smarts. I am not a patient person, but I have learned to listen to my children, both what they say in words and what they tell me non-verbally. I have learned to be reasonable in my expectations of what they can do. I know that we’re not running one race, rather a long marathon and that sometimes it takes time to learn a new concept or skill. In addition, I am willing to apologize to my children when I have been too impatient, demanding, etc. Teachers in brick and mortar schools are just as flawed as the rest of us – they get impatient, too. Do they apologize to their students? Do they care as much about any student as a parent cares about her children?

And you don’t need to know everything you teach, and you don’t even need to teach everything yourself. There are local co-ops, on-line classes and phone conference classes. What you do need to know is where to go for help and resources. Today there is a great abundance of resources for homeschoolers in every imaginable subject.

By: twebsterarmstrong

twebsterarmstrong — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 03:37:43 +0000

My husband and I have three kids in college this year. We moved from one very large high school, and opted to “out-of-district-transfer” our kids from a small rural school into another large high school. Why?

We, who enjoyed a nightly evening meal together at the dining room table, knew we would rather our kids bring their social and religious questions to us at the table, rather than their facing them as college freshmen in some unknown atmosphere without any parental guidance.

Has this theory worked? I think so. Our kids are very open and we five can discuss life and religion in a comfortable atmosphere. And our kids feel comfortable bringing fellow students home to “the parents”.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 21:35:53 +0000

When your kids get to middle-school age, you could give them the choice… My friend homeschooled her 2 b/c they wanted it. After a year, they were bored and wanted to go back to school.

I’m very shy and middle school and high school were not fun for me. But there are parts of it that I would not take back. For one thing, choosing electives was awesome – shop, drama, photography, debate, gourmet cooking and on and on. I hated PE, but where else would I have been able to try out all the different sports – bowling, archery, basketball, softball, tennis, etc.

Also, there was interesting stuff going on – the kids had so many different personalities… As for the teachers, some were forgettable and others were awesome.

One thing to ask yourself would be this: did you go to public school? If you had it to do over again, would you choose to be homeschooled instead?

Of course there are pros and cons to both, but I lean towards public school.

By: Alli

Alli — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:00:21 +0000

I briefly pondered this issue as well. If you really want to you should try it. If it doesn’t work you re-enroll the girls into school. I know I am just too lazy. I think that you could really manage it!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 21:03:12 +0000

As you have discovered this is certainly a hot topic. I home school our 2 younger kids while their sister goes to middle school. I did not start home schooling because I always wanted to but because they took away all of my son’s extra help he needed and when we went to the principal we were told to buzz off and then we went to the school board and were told the same thing. In going back to the principal she basically told us that she was going to make sure that everything that they were doing wrong (which neither had ever caused trouble) we caught and they were punished (My daughter was going into 1st grade). It hasn’t been easy and I hate that it came to this but parents need the respect of the whole staff in order to make it work.
mean while our oldest goes to middle school, and it is hard. it is hard to listen to some of the things going on. But she needs to learn how to cope. Sigh. Things will be better when we head to Vermont, while not perfect the school staff generally listen better.

By: Carroll

Carroll — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:39:48 +0000

Sugared Happy, is *is* amazing! All these years later I still feel so fortunate that we found it. That school is the reason we moved to our current town from just across the border where there was no similar program at the time. It’s very child-centered. Kids are allowed to learn at their own pace, and because of all the adult help, the teachers are able to really tailor various activities to the varied learning styles of all the different kids. When my older son was in 1st grade, he really wasn’t interested much in reading. At any other school, I would have been forced into worrying like heck that he was “falling behind” instead, his very wise teacher said “Don’t worry, he’ll read when he’s ready. Right now he’s the most advanced spatial-reasoning kid I’ve ever taught, and that’s because of all the time he spends playing with blocks and getting to know what things *feel* like.” At the end of third grade, he was reading at a second grade level. That summer, he discovered a series of books that he absolutely loved, and totally devoured. By the time he started 4th grade, he tested at an early 5th reading level — all because he was allowed to wait until he fell in love with reading. If he’d had it crammed down his throat when he was younger, that might never have happened, and I’m sure I would easily have been convinced to have him evaluated for Special Ed because he was “so far behind”. So yeah, I’m biased, but I owe that school for everything my two entirely wonderful now-adult children have become. I would encourage any of you readers whose children are still young enough to benefit from this type of education to look into it, and if there is not one in your area, consider getting a group of like-minded folks together and petitioning your district to start one. They are no longer considered “weird” — there’s tons of research out there to support how well children thrive in this type of environment. Mind you, it’s not for everyone — nor is it for every teacher. We ask SO much of our teachers. Not only do they have to consider the needs of every child, but also the strengths and potential contributions of every parent, since their lesson plans need to incorporate 3-4 parents in the classroom at all times. Do the Math…that’s 4-5 adults in every classroom. Trained adults, mind you — we all go through parent education classes, and classroom participation sessions as part of the deal. It’s pretty amazing!

OK, getting down off the soapbox now. Can you tell I’m passionate about this topic?

Good luck to all — your children will definitely benefit from the very fact that you are even reading about all this stuff. If you care about your kids enough to be concerned that school is more than just a place to drop them off every morning, that’s half the battle!

By: flatflo

flatflo — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:04:19 +0000

Saint Louis has a lot of parochial school options. Lutheran, Catholic, Jewish are the ones just off the top of my head. Even if you aren’t the specific religion, the schools and classrooms are usually smaller and offer a good solid education. You may just need to offset the religious aspects with “that is what the school teaches, and this how it relates to what we believe.”

My older sister went to the STL city public school up the street for kindergarten, and at that point my parents moved her to the Lutheran grade school attached to their church. My younger sister and I followed in her footsteps even in attending a Catholic high school that saw itself as a college prep, with mandatory curriculum that met the standards of even ivy league schools.

My younger sister attended the CCLS middle school in Kirkwood for a couple of years and would highly recommend.

By: Amy in StL

Amy in StL — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:22:42 +0000

I just have two comments.

First, all the home-schooled kids I met at UMR were weird. Considering that we were all engineers and scientists, that they managed to stand out in oddities and inability to mesh well is a feat.

Second, I was a painfully shy child in gradeschool. Highschool (we didnt’ have middle school in parochial land) was hard. I learned that there were people who would be mean to me for sport and that not everyone like me. I had a good school experience but some parts were hard. However, that has soooo prepared me for the real world. At age almost-40 there are people I work with who are just like the cool kids in school. They make fun of others when they’re not around and sometimes they make me feel un-cool, weird or like a loser. If I hadn’t had that high school experience I might spend days in my cube crying because they hurt my feelings. I really think learning this lesson when I was young from girls not raised like me; is what makes me a stronger woman today.

Oh yeah, one more thing. That said, I’m sure you’ll fret and worry and in the end do what’s best for your two girls.