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This is (mostly) NOT another post about knitting camp.

April 14th, 2011 · 14 Comments · Daily

Confession: I’m one of those big whiny babies who blasts from three to ten when the outside temperature travels more than ten degrees beyond my comfort zone. On any given day in August, if you put your ear against my house, you will not hear the ocean. You will hear me getting out of the shower and screaming, “It’s HOT IN THIS HOUSE! I’m out of the shower and I’m SWEATING DOWN MY BACK!!! Somebody FIX THIS!!!” (I know. The current estimated world population is 6,894,765,132. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most of those people probably don’t have residential air conditioning. My rule: We can all complain about three things in life. One of my chosen three is Torridity. I am not completely unlike Scarlett O’Hara.) ((If you’re curious, another of my chosen three is the fact that the best French onion soup is made with beef broth, and Vegetarian Me is really bummed out about that.)) (((I’ll keep the third thing to myself so I can change it desultorily.))) Fact: Today I used the word unimaginability for the first time, and I now see that it isn’t actually a word. Imaginability? Yes. Unimaginable? Yes. Unimaginability? No. And I was feeling so SMART when I said it!

Back to business. The temperature in our room at knitting camp was difficult to regulate. On two separate occasions, my friend and I had to walk to the front desk and ask how to switch the unit from Hot to Cold. (The answer? Press seventeen different buttons in the correct order to turn the Sun into a Snowflake! Obvious!) Eventually, we were able to reach our inner Mordecai Meirowitz to transform Sun to Snowflake, but it wasn’t enough. We then became ambitious and decided to figure out how to increase the intensity of the air flow.

I am pleased to report that after finding our remote control manual for the air/heating unit, we learned that the available settings were Low, Medium, High, and CHAOS. (The all-caps treatment was theirs, not mine.) CHAOS! When we took our unit to CHAOS, the room filled with butterflies, and three days later there was a tornado in Luxembourg. The End.
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14 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Amy // Apr 14, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    Have you tried smittenkitchen’s recipe? http://smittenkitchen.com/2011/04/french-onion-soup/
    It certainly looks yummy and has a vegetarian option.

  • 2 Carroll // Apr 14, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    I predict that you are going to absolutely detest menopause!

  • 3 elizabeth // Apr 14, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    I vote YES for bringing unimaginability into the language. It’s useful and makes sense.

    Also, you and I should never be roommates anywhere because I cry when the temperature drops below 70. Actually cry.

  • 4 beyond // Apr 15, 2011 at 3:28 am

    make french onion soup yourself and use vegetable stock instead of beef stock. (that goes for all recipes that use beef, chicken, etc stock). just make sure it’s GOOD vegetable stock. (they are not all equal!) i don’t want you to feel deprived of a Great French Onion Soup. that’s a terrible unimaginability.

  • 5 Christi // Apr 15, 2011 at 11:01 am

    I made the smitten kitchen french onion soup this week (with vegetable stock) and it was AMAZING. Best french onion soup I’ve ever had.

  • 6 Wendy // Apr 15, 2011 at 11:26 am

    I use this stuff: http://www.superiortouch.com/retail/products/better-than-bouillon/vegetarian-bases/44/no-beef-base
    to beef up (ha!) my veggie stock for things like french onion soup. It’s really good, in moderation.

  • 7 Sandy // Apr 15, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    According to both MS Word and Firefox, “unathletic” is not a word. I refuse to believe it.

  • 8 Mitzi // Apr 15, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    “Unimaginability” is leaps and bounds better than “refudiate”.

  • 9 The Coffee Lady // Apr 15, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    I moan about the cold. I would dearly love to be sweating down my back.

  • 10 Deborah // Apr 15, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    I am still searching for the CHAOS switch for my unit at home. Perhaps you can only locate the CHAOS button through the use of the remote control. Do you think that this could possibly be the secret to the universe? (Somewhere, someone left the CHAOS switch on! And then lost the remote. It would explain so much.)

  • 11 Esther S // Apr 16, 2011 at 1:19 am

    I’m always a fan of French Onion soup but as I keep kosher I need a non-meat soup so I can have those yummy cheese croutons!

    Keeping kosher, among other things, requires not mixing milk and meat so foods are can be kosher-dairy or kosher -meat. But there is a 3rd specification: kosher-parve which is neither milk or meat and can be eaten with both.
    So kosher-parve beef (flavoured) broth is your solution!!

    These are links to two Israeli brands which I have used and can therefore recommend but just Google ‘parve beef soup’ and you’ll discover a ton of possibilities.

    And just to make you jealous: we have delicious onion soup in the canteen at work every Monday. Best lunch of the week!

  • 12 Jordana M // Apr 17, 2011 at 6:57 am

    A word isn’t a word until millions of people say it, and THAT wouldn’t happen unless someone made it up in the first place. I personally have my own stylebook that AP and Miriam-Webster are lightyears behind on…..

    See, you’re not wrong. You’re a trailblazer. :)

  • 13 Carole G. // Apr 21, 2011 at 1:28 am

    There are people in Luxembourg who are holding secret meetings to plot their revenge. They are genetically altering butterfly DNA to create one’s with toxic scales on their wings that will create a poisonous vortex the next time someone takes that unit to CHAOS.

  • 14 Cairn // Apr 21, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    unimaginability = love it

    I had an English professor tell me that since I was getting a degree in English, I could use/make up any words I wanted. I enjoy having that ability and use it regularly. :)