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Honesty: I once created a perfume, and the key ingredient was black pepper.

March 18th, 2014 · 11 Comments · Daily

If someone told me that I had to walk around smelling like a specific food for the rest of my days, I would choose to smell like gingerbread cookies. Oranges would also be on my top five list of I Have to Smell Like This Food possibilities. Green bean casserole.

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Honesty: Show me a person who thinks I’m mean and I’ll show you a person who has no idea. (And by saying they Have No Idea, I’m not saying, “I’m MORE MEAN THAN YOU THINK! I’M JUST GETTING STARTED BEING MEAN!” By saying you Have No Idea, I’m actually saying, “I’m not mean. Really. Despite what you think you think.”)

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Last week I edited a chapter about delusions. While reading it, I was able to visualize actual people (and sometimes those people were me!) who fit some of the descriptions in the book. A few days ago I edited a chapter about sleep disorders, and I was quickly able to diagnose myself with maladies I probably don’t actually have.  Yesterday I edited Sexual Disorders. Green bean casserole.)

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I have potatoes and carrots and celery and garbanzo beans and diced tomatoes and veggie broth simmering in the Crock pot right now with curry and coriander and garlic. Add that to the list of foods I might want to exude.

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Last night I had a dream during which a man in a red velvet hat approached me in a castle and asked me to spell loo-be-doo. I smiled confidently and said, “l-e-a-u-x-b-e-d-e-u-x.” He frowned and said, “No. It’s just l-o-o-b-e-d-o-o.” I think this means that I try to add unnecessary details. I should stop cleaning my house and just get that goofy realtor over here.

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Baked apples with cinnamon and brown sugar. Add that to the list.

 

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11 responses so far ↓

  • 1 javajennifer // Mar 18, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    Garlic frying in olive oil . . . I’m not sure I want to smell like it, but it is one of my favorite food smells.

    Also, tree-ripened peaches.

  • 2 Cindy // Mar 18, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    I’m with you on the orange smell, but maybe not so much on the green bean casserole. The other night Walt Disney told me to buy a new toothbrush. Dreams are weird.

  • 3 Mitzi // Mar 18, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    Roses, Strawberries and Bacon. In that order.

    Did I tell you the story about my sleep talking, where I wanted to display the art like Michael Jackson?

  • 4 The Cartoonist // Mar 18, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    The big, thick Sears Roebuck catalog that we use to get in the mail right before christmas, that’s the smell I want to smell like

  • 5 pharmgirl // Mar 18, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    Lemons, oranges, vanilla, mint leaves, rain, freshly cut grass , cinnamon rolls

  • 6 Grammy // Mar 18, 2014 at 8:52 pm

    Sautéed onions. Really. Have you ever been cooking and, just when the onions are getting fragrant someone comes in the house? Every single time people will say, “Oooh. That smells good.” I’d like to smell like that. Or oranges. Either one.

    Almost fifty years ago I worked in a medical records department of a hospital. They gave a college credit course onsite for medical terminology for anyone who wanted to take it. Every file clerk “came down” with whatever disease we learned that week. It happens to doctors and nurses when they’re in school, too.

  • 7 Jill // Mar 19, 2014 at 7:37 am

    Fresh winter air, rain, cinnamon, gingersnaps, pumpkin pie.. Food for thought.

  • 8 RzDrms // Mar 19, 2014 at 11:21 am

    I have not met you (yet!), but I have a strong idea that you are not mean. Not even when super-duper angry except maybe if someone’s mean to old people or animals and then maybe you might be a little mean oh wait that’s me.

  • 9 RzDrms // Mar 19, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    Also? It’s nice to see that someone else washes their jeans and t-shirts together. I’m showing this to my husband so that he stops insisting that I’m doing laundry all wrong. I’m a total non-separatist.

  • 10 RzDrms // Mar 19, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    Also also?? Pears.

  • 11 marianne // Mar 19, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    I think I want to smell like pharmgirl–that’s a good list.

    Maybe add geraniums and grapefruit.

    I hope I usually smell like lavender. My favorite smell.