Day Eight: She scored a 4 in Responding to Sensory Input! (That means I can start spanking, right?)
Last night was the big Parent/Teacher conference at Meredith's school.
And as expected, I got all worked up and nervous about the whole thing.
I changed my outfit three times before finally settling on something that made me look like I was paying tribute to Mr. Rogers:
(Black and white cardigan from 2001. Converse All Stars from 1996. Levi's that show a tiny part of my underpants if you know where to look.)
((On the top left edge of the right back pocket.))
(((And I wasn't going to put up a picture of my outfit, but then I found that I sort of liked the picture, and that certainly doesn't happen very often, so there you go. Bonus Pudding.)))
I love Meredith's teacher.
And after she agreed with my reluctance to have Meredith screened for kindergarten, I love her even more. (Don't even get me STARTED on the DIAL-3 and how CRAPPY I think it is.)
Anyway, Meredith is doing well. In a world where kids are earning 2s and 3s, she tends to earn 3s and 4s.
For the most part, her vision doesn't inhibit her from participating in the daily stuff.
The only thing she needs some help with is relating to other kids. (She's been known to approach the teacher during clean-up time, cross her arms over her chest, and say, "I love to watch the kids clean up. They're doing a great job.")
Yesterday while all of the other kids were playing, Meredith sat under a table with a bunch of plastic food. When the teacher asked her what she was doing, she answered, "Well, I think I'm just going to sit under this table and eat my supper by myself."
As you know, I've never been very good about getting Meredith together with other kids outside of school, because I suh-huck in social situations.
I have GOT to break myself of that and start getting her out more often.
She can't sit under the table and eat supper by herself forever, right? Right.
(It breaks my heart a bit to see that she's turning into a mini version of myself.)
Incidentally, guess what I'll be doing tonight?
Eating supper by myself. (I will not be eating under the table.)
It's not because I don't want to play!
Really! I've got a meeting and an eyebrow appointment!
It's important that my solitariness take place with nicely shaped brow arches.
Submitted by
Amy in StL
at 11/8/2007 9:54:08 AM- I had no idea there was a company making money off deciding if kids are ready for kindergarten! When I was 5 my parents took me to the convent where they gave me two tests to decide if I was ready for school.
For one, I sat with a nun and did a multiple choice exam. For the other, I sat in a room with a fish tank and a few books while the nun talked to my parents in another part of the convent. Apparently that one was considered more important, as kids who weren't ready to go to school ran around the convent crying and looking for their parents. I passed both, but I only have memories of doing the test with the nun!
Submitted by
Kathy
at 11/8/2007 9:54:23 AM- I used to have those One-Stars. They were awesome. Now they're all but impossible to find even in the big giant shoe warehouse place.
Submitted by
FP
at 11/8/2007 10:02:24 AM- Sara--Thanks so much! After visiting your site, that's a huge compliment.
Amy--I would give $100 to sit in a room with a book and a fish tank.
Kathy--I love the shoes. I have a pink pair, too, but lately they seem silly to me.
Submitted by
Zoot
at 11/8/2007 10:04:28 AM- I've always joked that daycare is good for my daughter because she would never be around other kids if it were up to me. I try to befriend at least people in my neighborhood that look like they have similarly aged children. I wave, or talk to their dogs when they walk by our house, but everyone seems scared of me.
(Maybe I should quit talking to dogs?)
Anyway - my point? If you find any tricks to the socializing for the sake of the kids - let me know.
Submitted by
heartfull
at 11/8/2007 10:05:40 AM- I think we have to give the teachers a little insight, and when I think of Fluid Pudding, that is exactly how I imagine you. Casual, yet hip.
I used to think play dates were essential. Now, I'm not so sure. I just don't know how much of an influence we really have in our kids' personalities. Maybe we can encourage or discourage certain traits, but we can't force them to be more social or less agressive. Just because you sign them up for soccer doesn't mean they will actually participate. Anyways, she'll let you know if she wants to get together with anyone. I wouldn't sweat it.
Yay on the academics!
Submitted by
zoe
at 11/8/2007 10:20:56 AM- cute shoes. i think your daughter may even be funnier than you are!
Submitted by
jill
at 11/8/2007 10:35:20 AM- So with you. I would be all into homeschooling but my kids would be wierdos because I cannot socalize. At least not like a normal person (read: without the help of Captain Morgan).
The jury is still out on whether my 4 year old will start Kindergarten next year. Her birthday puts us on the cusp. I'm leaning for more preschool. I'll probably regret that when she's a raging teenager and I have to live with her for an extra year, but for now it sounds like the way to go. She's a smarty-pants but not a huge social butterfly. I think we put way too much academic pressure on our little ones so I'm cool with another year of how-to-play-nicely-with-others.
The picture is great. You look like that young, hip mom.
Submitted by
Karaoke Diva
at 11/8/2007 10:46:28 AM- (She's been known to approach the teacher during clean-up time, cross her arms over her chest, and say, "I love to watch the kids clean up. They're doing a great job.")
Sounds to me like Meredith has a bright future in management! ;-)
Submitted by
tortoiseshelly
at 11/8/2007 10:52:50 AM- That kind of breaks my heart a little about Meredith, but I don't think it's that uncommon. My nephew is a brilliant little kid, but in preschool was not interacting with other kids on the same level (he was at the end of the age cutoff for his class year). The teacher he had at the time recommended because of his age and social skills, that he should probably remain in preschool another year to develop a little more. He did, and 2 years later, he's in first grade with plenty of friends, having fun, and doing well in school.
I know it was a tough decision for my sister and her husband to make, you know - how is this going to impact him, etc. But in retrospect, I know she's happy she waited. We watched my cousin's child (same age and issues as my nephew) go ahead and enter kindergarten, and he struggled quite a bit with other kids, getting into fights, etc.
So (to wrap up my novel of a comment), I think if you have a teacher who really knows MC and cares about her, I'd value her recommendations over any screening process.
Submitted by
blackbird
at 11/8/2007 11:45:12 AM- What about (the dreaded) playdate with a couple of kids?
You needn't enroll her in the Brownies...start small.
Submitted by
Haus
at 11/8/2007 12:01:02 PM- I'm on the same page as heartfull.
My boy's been in day care since he was 12 weeks old, and while he's bright enough, and certainly well-socialized, he is by nature shy and reserved. He doesn't really talk much at school and prefers to play by himself a lot of the time.
Since it's been the same through 4 classrooms and 4 wonderful teachers, I don't think it's me or them. I think it's him. And overall he's fine, great, wonderful -- he's just not good in groups.
He enjoys small get togethers though (ie: playing with a neighbor), so maybe little playdates with friends would be just what you and Meredith need.
Submitted by
Elizabeth
at 11/8/2007 2:33:33 PM- I so wish I hadn't gotten rid of my two pairs of one stars! They would be totally vintage now, almost 3 years old.
My staple in high school. I thought it was cool that the guy I went out with for bit had a pair too. So did my best friend.
Glad to hear Meredith is doing good in school and that you like her teacher. I would hate it if I didn't like/agree with my sons' teacher.
Submitted by
Jessica
at 11/8/2007 5:04:28 PM- As a fellow teacher, I'm surprised her teacher kept it together for the whole "I love to watch the kids clean up" ordeal. I would have just laughed, because what a genius kid! Complementing while getting out of work? GENIUS.
Hold back if you have ANY reservations. School is hard and school is 100000 times worse if you are even a little bit behind. With the new standards and testing, I'd hold off if you can. Let them be KIDS.
Submitted by
witchypoo
at 11/8/2007 6:43:12 PM- I was thinking if 4 was a low score on sensory input that you might have to spank her harder for it to register ;)
No comments please about the pathetic, tear-filled eyes of this beautiful child looking all hurt at her mommy, it was a joke. Just not a tasteful one.
Submitted by
FP
at 11/8/2007 7:50:49 PM- Uh-oh. I'm afraid I wasn't very clear. 3s and 4s are actually "better" than 2s and 3s. She'll definitely go to kindergarten next year--I'm just not going to have her tested beforehand. (I don't like the DIAL-3, and I don't believe it gives an adequate picture of the child and his/her strengths and weaknesses.) We have ten months to go before kindergarten, so I think we'll be fine.
I thank all of you for your words! I'm so lucky to have you all here!
Submitted by
at 11/8/2007 10:15:41 PM- O M G !!!! Meredith has an alter ego. It is Ella! Ella would SO love to stand next to her and compare notes on how the kids were doing cleaning up. It has nothing to do with social reticence. It has to do with Ella's great desire to see that work gets done by anyone except HER!
Submitted by
heartfull
at 11/9/2007 7:44:44 AM- What is this Dial-3 you speak of? We didn't do that and I live here in St. Louis too, but, obviously a different school district. Is it a gifted thing?
Heck, I just went and signed 'em up on parent registration night. And they went to class on the first day of school. No testing required.
Submitted by
heartfull
at 11/9/2007 7:48:44 AM- OK - I linked. But I still don't understand who does the testing. Her preschool? Her future kindergarten? PAT? Or are you considering a private kindergarten?
Submitted by
FP
at 11/9/2007 8:28:31 AM- Heartfull--The test is administered by the Early Childhood Center, which is affiliated with the school system (public school). The Parents As Teachers folks go into the pre-school classroom and test the kids. Meredith was having a difficult day when they tested her last year, and she got points taken off for fidgeting. A three year old fidgeted during a 40 minute test. Unheard of, right? Also, she lost points because she couldn't write her name (at three years old), and it made no difference that the school curriculum mainly focuses on letter recognition (and no writing) at that age.
She also lost points because she couldn't use the word Fat "correctly". The words she was expected to know were something like "larger, smaller; taller, shorter" and "fat". Fat really stuck out as being a word that didn't belong. (Even if she had used it correctly, I still thought it was goofy.)
There were so many things that got my goat that day, including the fact that one administrator misspelled our last name (a very easy name to spell), and the other didn't add Meredith's score correctly. (If I remember, it was an 11 point tally, and she counted it up as 9.)
Basically, once the kid takes the test (at age 3 and again at age 4 for kindergarten screening), the tests are filed away in her permanent record. In other words, if Meredith has a behavioral issue when she's eight, the teacher might pull out her DIAL, see that she lost points because of fidgeting at 3, and think "Oh. This has been a problem for awhile now..." I would hope that she never has a teacher quite that lazy, but I've heard stories of it happening.
Another fishy thing? When I asked the Parents as Teachers rep for a copy of Meredith's assessment, she wouldn't give it to me. I mean, I could go to Meredith's doctor and get the results of a blood test done at birth, but I can't get a copy of a goofy screening assessment? The secrecy disturbs me a bit.
Submitted by
heartfull
at 11/9/2007 9:32:23 AM- I think our PAT rep has talked about the Dial test. It is sounding more familiar now. I have never done it, though. And after reading your post, I'm guess I'm glad.
Mare would not have sat still for that. Some kids could have, for sure, Bird being one of them. But Mare would have had points docked for fidgeting for sure.
Mare couldn't write her name at the end of preschool last year. I could have cared less. I refuse to be anal about those things and we do not do writing "drills" at home. After two months of kindergarten, she is fine. Writing her name with the best of them.
Fat? We avoid that word in our family. Goofy choice of adjectives.
Honestly, I have been amazed at what some preschool teachers have told me about Mare. Because she is a little quirky, she has really highlighted *their* inadequacies.
Bird was and still is a very straightforward student. Teachers loved her and she got great reports. All teachers looked good when she was their student.
But when a (first-year) preschool teacher looks at me and tells me Mare is deficient in math (at 3!) and then the next day Mare easily counts 12 objects in a pool of water at her sister's field day, I have to doubt the teacher's ability to think outside the box (which is what they have to be willing to do when assessing a quirky kid.)
Oh - and Mare brought home a first quarter report card last week that said she has exceeded kindergarten expectations for math. In the first quarter. Should I mail it to her preschool teacher (idiot)?
Anyways, I have found that the grade school teachers are much better. They see a wide variety of students. They continually attend training courses. They can think outside the box. The appreciate quirkiness ;-).
Submitted by
Mizmell
at 11/9/2007 12:27:30 PM- I think its a Levi defect--there is always a tiny hole near the back pockets when they start to get comfy.
Glad no one is eating supper under the kitchen table!
Bonus pudding is always a good thing, always. And yes, I think that's a very nice picture, too.