Day Nine: I almost asked someone to hold my hair. But I didn't want to be a nuisance.
I haven't been to Weight Watchers in a few weeks, so last night I put on my gossamer clothing and headed out.
Just so you know: I'm a Lifetime Member at Weight Watchers. What that means: according to their records, I have maintained my goal weight (within two pounds) for quite some time. As long as I keep it within two pounds of my goal, I don't have to pay for the meetings I attend. (It sort of sucks, because if my weight is up and I NEED to go, I often DON'T go because I don't want to slap down twelve bucks just to be told that I'm a little too big for my britches. Anyway.)
When I went three weeks ago, I was up. I knew I was up, and I needed to get back on track and blah, blah, blah, Zig Ziglar. I paid my twelve and was told that I was four pounds above goal, meaning two pounds above my "within two pounds" thing.
Last night, according to my scale, I was back into the free range. (Like a tasty chicken!)
I headed in.
Weight Watchers Weigher (WWW): You're down two pounds!
Me: Excellent.
WWW: BUT, you're still a quarter of a pound out of the two pound range, so you'll have to pay.
Me: No!!!!
WWW: Wait. Go to the back and use the restroom. That might get rid of the quarter pound.
So I sprinted back to the bathroom, um, emptied my bladder, removed my socks, removed my wedding rings, and hauled ass back to the scale. Before stepping on, I took a really deep breath and held it in. (I have no idea if that helps or not. I also filled my head with ethereal thoughts.)
WWW: Oh no!!! You're still TWO TENTHS OF A POUND ABOVE THE TWO POUND RANGE!!!! Is there anything else you could take off?
Me: If I wasn't wearing these ratty old Hanes Her Way underpants, I'd rip my pants off.
WWW: Anything else?
Me: I could go back and remove my bra, but if unleashed, these gigantic newly-discovered ferocious breasts of mine might take over the entire meeting. Nobody wants that.
I slapped down the twelve bucks and was then told that Millie, my all-time favorite Weight Watchers leader, has resigned her Thursday night position.
Twelve dollars. No Millie.
I didn't stay for the meeting. Instead, I moped on over to Crazy Bowls and indulged myself in a High Protein Bowl before Eeyore-ing my way over to the salon to get my eyebrows micro-managed.
And what's on the agenda for today?
I heard a rumor that my dad baked an apple pie.
In my opinion, that is worth a thirty minute drive.
(My new eyebrows need to practice their "Mmmmm. This is some good pie." dance.)
Submitted by
FP
at 11/9/2007 9:18:49 AM- Deborah--I go to American Image Salon and Spa. They dye my brows (a five minute thing) and then wax them (another five to ten minutes). The woman who does me (that sounds porny) is super nice and super good. AND, there's a yarn store next door. And a Subway. (And a karate school, Mexican restaurant, and loose tea/coffee store.)
Submitted by
All Adither
at 11/9/2007 9:29:55 AM- I think I'm letting my brows go. I'm tired of constantly fighting them.
Submitted by
Beth Kujawski
at 11/9/2007 9:41:50 AM- Good God, who wants to live in a world where weight is measured in tenths of pounds?!
Submitted by
Mutha
at 11/9/2007 9:43:05 AM- I would be tempted to say, "You guys are micro-managing my weight. Can't you round down or something??"
But they'd say, "We're Weight Watchers. That's kind of our point, Fatty."
Our Crazy Bowls location only has one high chair. I am either forced to buy a portable one or start going to a location out of my zone.
Submitted by
FP
at 11/9/2007 9:46:48 AM- Beth--I know! I could have probably clipped my fingernails and been good to go! (The reason I go to these meetings is because Millie is so funny and the Thursday nighters are SO nice. But they're not twelve dollar nice, you know? Twelve dollar nice is a decent movie and a box of Junior Mints!)
Mutha--I've actually been to a meeting where one of the leaders says, "You really shouldn't have worn jeans to weigh in. Jeans weigh 1.5 pounds!" It can really get sick. Actually, the fact that I spent nearly two minutes damning myself for eating a handful of chicken before the meeting is really sick.
Submitted by
You can call me, 'Sir'
at 11/9/2007 9:47:50 AM- Two-tenths of a pound. You should've unleashed the breast destruction. That's absolutely asinine.
That's a lovely picture underneath, BTW. I'll bet the converses, alone, put the teacher more at ease in an environment where she constantly deals with soccer moms wearing heels and giant sunglasses. You were, no doubt, a breath of fresh air.
Submitted by
sweetney
at 11/9/2007 9:52:01 AM- i'm doing WW right now. would kill to be within 2 pounds of anything close to my goal weight.
how much did you lose when you first did it? and when was this? am i just teh dumbz?
Submitted by
FP
at 11/9/2007 9:57:54 AM- Sir--If I had done that, the breasts would still be there--knocking over chalkboards and ripping cookbooks off of the pegboard displays! (And thanks for your kind words.)
Sweetney--Back in 2003, I lost right around 30 pounds with Weight Watchers. (Because I gained 80 pounds with my Meredith pregnancy, and couldn't quite shake off the last 30, I joined up.) I think it took right around seven months to drop the thirty. I'm really loving the Core Plan. Are you doing Flex or Core? I could send you some recipes if you want!
Submitted by
Kathie
at 11/9/2007 10:12:05 AM- OMG!! I had the craziest dream about you and Jeff last night! In my dream you were going out of town for the night and you needed somebody to stay with Jeff. (Don't ask why...it was a crazy dream) You left this stuff for us to do but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. The next thing I know I'm sleeping and taking out my teeth. (You can do that in my dreams!) When I wake up at your house(even though I have never been at your house or met you and Jeff)I'm trying to put these teeth in your dog's mouth (I'm pretty sure you don't even have a dog!). Jeff starts to help put the teeth in your dog's mouth and we realize they're Jeff's teeth. I remember in my dream thinking this guy is so nice, he's not even mad that I pulled all his teeth out while I slept. I was going to ask to see his big toe thumb but I didn't want to push my luck! As I 'm helping him put the last of his teeth in, I see something in his mouth and he tells me it's his shunt. Then you came home, I gave you a hug and left. When I walked out to my truck, I was at my parent's house and my truck was wrecked because my ex had taken it out. Finally my alarm went off and I woke up.
Please don't think I'm crazy! Normally, I don't dream about bloggers and their husband's teeth. ;-)
Submitted by
FP
at 11/9/2007 10:16:40 AM- Kathie--Whoa. How in the HELL did you know that Jeff doesn't have any teeth?! And he can't be left alone because he tends to stick his old teeth into the dog's mouth! He's CRAZY!!!
(That is one weird dream! Did you eat popcorn before you went to bed? Because that will do it.)
Submitted by
Deanna
at 11/9/2007 11:41:35 AM- Oh no! You don't take a deep breath and hold it. You blow all the air out of your lungs so you don't have all that "air weight!" At least, that's what I do.
Submitted by
Mizmell
at 11/9/2007 12:32:36 PM- Congrats on maintaining your ideal weight. I am green with envy.
Submitted by
Mauigirl
at 11/9/2007 5:29:51 PM- As a WW recidivist I am envious you ever met your lifetime goal in the first place. I just rejoined for the umpteenth time, having hit a new record weight for me.
You deserve the apple pie, you just weighed in! (This is my logic. This is why I never reach my goal weight).
Submitted by
Erin
at 11/9/2007 8:25:20 PM- Have you guys ever tried the online WW? I'm thinking about joining up to ditch the lovely 15lbs that I've packed on - 5lbs for each year of marriage. Awww! Anyhow, I can't decide if I should spend the extra cash and go to the meetings or take the more economical route and go the online route. I'm wondering if I'll have more stick-to-it-iveness if I have to go weigh in in front of people.
Submitted by
Krista
at 11/10/2007 2:13:00 AM- I haven't commented in a while but you made me smile...and that means a lot because we are in the midst of scarlet fever and strep at our house. Keep up your writing--you are my only hope for happiness right now!
Submitted by
Alli
at 11/10/2007 4:18:36 PM- I know you don't believe us when we tell you this, but you really don't appear to need WW. And that hairstyle Mariska is sporting would look amazing on you!
Submitted by
islayirl
at 11/10/2007 7:37:34 PM- i have Long History of Unhealthiness where weight and weight loss are concerned, and now i'm pretty much ok, but i still find myself taking off EVERYTHING SINGLE THING before i weigh myself. the other day i was standing in the foyer (the only part of my house with tile floors, you know, for the scale), with my bra flung to the floor and my panties over the doorknob. I stood there for a sec while i waited for the digital thingy to zero out and I frantically PULLED OUT MY HAIR CLIP.
yeah, i know. i know. the irony is that i'm not even trying to lose weight right now. old habits, etc.
Hey--do you have a brow place recommendation? I'm in need of some professional help. What do they do exactly?