Jeff’s birthday was Monday, and although we didn’t get him exactly what he wanted, we did get him a few small useful things. (Like Skittles! And Garfield Minus Garfield!) When he returned home from work on his birthday, the girls sat him on the couch and instructed him to close his eyes and hold out [...]

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I once made the statement that you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a gifted kid. After saying it, I sort of regretted saying it, as I tend to regret many of the things I say out loud. (“Quarter Pounder with cheese, mustard, pickle, and onion” is an excellent example of this. Also, the [...]

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In the past 48 hours, I’ve seen some pretty wicked photographs of birds with diarrhea. I have taken on a freelance project, and that is a very good thing.
This particular freelance project is all about animals and their diseases.
Tarantulas go bald. Birds have anorexia. Amphibians vomit.
Meanwhile, I have about 4,392 things running through my head—projects [...]

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Today I was involved in a bit of a passive/aggressive war with the school nurse.
This is all I’ll say about that: I’m very sensitive about and very proactive toward Meredith’s vision issues. If you call me on the telephone to tell me that Meredith has “failed” your vision screening, laugh when I ask why I [...]

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So, I gave the coach the hat on Tuesday. I gave it to him in a plastic bag to show that I’m not always a tissue paper/Rudolph bag mom. And when I handed it over, I said, “We made an extra hat over the break for your wife!” He looked sort of confused, but then [...]

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Before I tell you this story, please know: Fluid Pudding has absolutely nothing to do with bodily functions. In fact, I like to pretend that my body does NOT function, if you know what I’m saying. Over the summer when I was diagnosed with a condition that has the word Bowel in the name? Um, [...]

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Yesterday afternoon I was sort of feeling a headache coming on, so I decided to take a Tylenol before dropping Harper off at school. I reached into the cabinet, and because I tend to not think straight when I’m dealing with medication, I quickly took a Tylenol PM. Immediately after swallowing it, I thought, “Whoops.” [...]

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This morning I was drinking coffee and checking e-mail and WHOOSH! our internet connection quit. No lights were blinking. Frogs began falling from the sky. Veiled horsemen began circling outside the house. People (mostly me) were flipping out.
(Actually, Jeff detected my sweat and sent me off to the shower so he could fix it in [...]

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Fact: When I was a kid, my mom took my sister and I to school every morning and picked us up every afternoon.
Fact: Every year in the fall (no foreshadowing pun intended), our elementary school would hold a Family Fun Night. And that Family Fun Night included a cake walk.
Fact: My mom used to be [...]

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As you know, I had to take a food item to school yesterday for teachers to snack on during the Parent/Teacher Conferences. Harper and I went to the store yesterday morning, and quickly decided on a cheese and sausage platter with crackers.
When we returned home, Harper looked at me with her big brown eyes and [...]

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