If I test positive for an MRSA infection, my entire family will have to be medicated. We won’t have the results until Tuesday, but Meredith and Harper are already Very Angry. If my test result is negative, I know two little girls who owe me big apologies. (Incidentally, research shows that the at-risk population for [...]

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Every time we go on vacation (which isn’t often) or away for a weekend (again, not often), I absolutely hate the thought of returning home. Last year, two days before we even LEFT for Jackson Hole, I said, “I’m so bummed out. A week from today we’ll be back home.” Yesterday afternoon, I picked Harper [...]

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A year or so ago, one of my favorite friends from high school said something like, “Okay. I think I’m ready to let my hair go gray.” Our mutual friends began to scream, “No! It’s one of the only signs of aging you can control without surgical intervention!” Me? I sat in the corner with [...]

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I was going to start off by showing you this photo: Then I was going to say, “This is the girls on their FIRST day of second grade and kindergarten.” Then I was going to show you THIS photo: And I was going to say, “This is the girls on their LAST day of second [...]

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More than 30 hours have passed since my cyst was removed, and I’m pleased to report that the excision was dreamy, and that I’m currently walking around with an ice pack in my pants because when the numbing shots wore off, my hip began to burn like a Blister in the Sun. (You’re welcome, Children [...]

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As you know, right now I look a little bit like this: The next time you see me? I’ll look a bit more like this: It’s hip surgery day at Fluid Pudding, during which I’ll be driving to the hospital, receiving lots of numbing shots in my hip, and having a cyst sliced off! And [...]

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Hey! Do you remember nearly a year ago when I showed my hip to you, and it really looked like I was showing my butt?! And then, two months later, I talked about my hip weirdness once again? When I saw my doctor in June, I was given antibiotics to kill the family of spiders [...]

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I just spent nearly 30 seconds trying to think of a word that rhymes with Tuesday. When I didn’t feel like wasting any more of my time (It’s worth over twenty bucks an hour at times! Other times? It’s worth absolutely nothing! You’ll never hear me complain!), I typed a search into the Internet. I [...]

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Headache Doctor: So, are you currently taking any medication regularly other than Zonisamide and the multivitamin? Me: I take a sleep aid at night. Headache Doctor: How many times per week do you take it? Me: Well, probably three times per week. Maybe more. Mostly more. Okay then. Seven nights per week. Headache Doctor: We [...]

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If you’ve been with me for the past few months, you’ve heard me mention cake balls. If you know what cake balls are and you’re not a fan, I’m about to offer you a hall pass, because there’s not much here for you to see. If you don’t know what cake balls are? Well, it’s [...]

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