Confession: I rarely clean my floors.
Wait. Let me take that back.
Confession: I NEVER clean my floors unless we suffer some sort of accident involving urine and/or raw eggs. (Perhaps that makes you not like me so much. Or, maybe it makes you like me even more. I like to hope that some of you are Just Like Me when it comes to The Lack of Tidy.)
When Swiffer offered to send me a Swiffer Sweeper (say THAT three times fast), I became a bit excited. A cleaning tool! And they’re paying me to use it! This means I Am Actually Going to Get Paid to Clean My Floors! (Does life get any better than this? Does it?! If you say it does, I don’t believe you.)
This Might Seem Like I’m Changing The Subject, But I Promise to Pull it All Together: Although we are a fairly messy family, I must admit that all but one of us does pretty well when it comes to cleaning up our own little messes.
Please meet Sidney. (She’s the one without the glasses.)
As you can see, we all love Sidney. (We sometimes love her so much that we’re led to do completely irrational things like rubbing smelly lotion into our hair, and then forcing Sidney to hold still and suffer the Scent and the Strangle.) Anyway, Sidney keeps herself fairly clean, but she often leaves my kitchen floor looking a bit like this.
(Yes. I am mortified. Because now you know about our secret plan to try to grow a new litter of cats on our kitchen floor. You just add water (plus raw eggs and urine) and they sprout up like magic, right?)
Last week the mailman knocked on the door and handed me my Swiffer. Suddenly, the sun busted through the clouds and seventeen animated birds landed on my shoulders and began singing “Whistle While You Work.” In less than five minutes, I had the thing snapped together with the dry refill cloth all attached and ready to go. (Remind me to tell you how much I love the way you attach the refills to the Swiffer. I have no idea why the process makes me feel totally spiffy, but it does. You poke the cloth into these little star-shaped grabbers! I love those stinking grabbers!)
Anyway, I was very careful to take photos of the process just in case you have no idea what it looks like to clean a despicable floor.
(Yep. I’m still embarrassed. Please don’t scrutinize the dirt on the floor. With that said, please notice how clean it is to the right of the Swiffer!)
Anyway, I went to town with the Swiffer, and it was fast and easy and I may have even danced around a bit wearing a pearl necklace and a gingham apron and muttering things like “Fiddle Dee Dee! Cleaning is a breeze! Time to stick a roast in the crock pot!”
Oh Dear Lord. I want to say something about casting stones and glass houses or something or other, but I’m having trouble typing through these blasted tears of humiliation.
The verdict? If you had walked into my house last week, you would have thought I had four dead cats on my kitchen floor. If you walked into my kitchen right now, you would surely say something clever like, “Wait a minute, my friend! I really don’t believe that you HAVE a cat, for I see no feline evidence on this sparkling kitchen floor! I will now eat my crock potted roast directly from your tidy tiles!” The dry refills lifted Every Single Cat Hair, and the wet refills finished off the dirt and left the room smelling like fresh laundry. And that’s definitely a good thing.
BONUS: I came home from work tonight, and the BATHROOM floor was sparkling.
Me: What happened to the bathroom floor?!
Jeff: I pulled out that Swiffer thing.
Me (smiling at the animated birds who are once again fastening my pearl necklace and gingham apron): Who could ask for anything more?
(If you’re interested in what other folks think about the Swiffer, check out the BlogHer Round Up Page, and visit Swiffer.com for more information AND to save $2 on any one Swiffer® Sweeper Starter Kit!!)
(Also, feel free to tell me a Swiffer story!)
(You know I always love a good Swiffer story.)
(And I know you do, too.)
17 responses so far ↓
1 What time is it? It’s cat adding time! // Feb 14, 2009 at 9:04 am
[...] a surprisingly related note, I recently received a Swiffer in the mail. And if you follow this link, you’ll see one of my closet skeletons. (Not really a closet skeleton. More like a dusty nightmare. Tomato, [...]
2 Jodi // Feb 14, 2009 at 10:47 am
You won’t be truly crazy until you knit yourself a reusable swiffer cover (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/search?query=swiffer).
3 Nichole // Feb 14, 2009 at 11:18 am
I bought a Swiffer Wet Jet yesterday! Because there is a Small Boy in the house who enjoys throwing food from his highchair to the floor! And because sometimes the potty seat shoots all of the pee-pee out onto the floor!
4 Donna // Feb 14, 2009 at 1:09 pm
The new Swiffer looks truly amazing. I bought one when they first came out, but could not bear the chorus of “Baby Come Back” by my mop and broom. I’m willing to upgrade and try again. Before I saw your blog (forwarded by daughter, who is one of your regular “visitors”), I was thinking about bringing out the leaf blower to corral the kitty tumbleweeds to one corner of the house and suck them up in with the Dirt Devil. I’m not sure mine is strong enough. Perhaps I could just chase them right out the back door and provide the birds with some great nesting materials. I have also thought about taking the kitty tumbleweeds to my spinning (textiles, not exercising) friends and have them spin me some yarn from my little Maine Coon. O-o-o-h , a Maine Coon hat with a bushy little tail in the back. Talk about spinning yarns . . . but I digress. It’s the ADD. Oh, there goes a bunny.
5 Dooley // Feb 14, 2009 at 9:54 pm
I just read a great book called “Addition” by Toni Jordan.* When two of the characters indulge in The Loving Time on the kitchen floor, all I could think of was Poptart crumbs, plastic newspaper sleeves, onion skins and the re-appearance of missing coffee beans.
Hawt.
* I am not a book reader — almost everything I need to know comes from Oprah, Real Simple, Clean Eating, Wired, Harvard Business Review, Vanity Fair, More, and Pink — but this was a really great book about embracing the not-quite-right in oneself. Quick and funny read. This was not a paid endorsement, unless someone reading FP’s blog wants to send a little referral gratuity my way…
6 patois // Feb 15, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Jodi’s comment made me laugh. I want to see the one you make, please.
7 Ani // Feb 16, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Funny we have no cat but our dust bunnies rival yours.
Mistery cat in the attic????
8 Ani // Feb 16, 2009 at 1:07 pm
ugh, MYStery. I can spell.
9 haus // Feb 18, 2009 at 12:49 am
I’m liking the Method brand floor cleaning system too — a Swiffer-style mop with interchangeable microfiber covers (one for wood, one for tile/linoleum, a disposable one for dusting). They sell spray-on floor cleaner, so all I do is spray and mop. The Method stuff is all at Target.
10 Lala Lady // Feb 18, 2009 at 9:49 am
I have dust bunnies on my dust bunnies and never actually thought that the swiffer could help me. I need to minimize dust also (slight asthma), so I am going to go out and buy a swiffer….. stay tuned and hopefully my dust bunnies will be a thing of the past.
11 pharmgirl // Feb 18, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Love it.
Mice sew my dresses and deer bring me treats.
Disney has warped an entire generation.
12 marianne // Feb 22, 2009 at 11:31 pm
If you think your Swiffer is good now, you should check out the Swiffer Sleeper:
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/swiffer-sleepers/229051/
13 Honeywest // Mar 2, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I have been using Swiffer for years now and really love all of them . Try them what an invention.
14 Honeywest // Mar 2, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Hi,
I just love the Swiffer , all of them are great just try them .
15 Jane Thompson // Mar 31, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I wouldn’t be without it, a great time saver!
16 elsimom // Apr 20, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Oh Pudding – there is something more!- you do not need to Swiffer yourself when there are children in the house! Take a section or two out of the handle to bring it down to size and then “let” the children Swiffer (mine actually fight over it!) I “let” the older one do the wet swiffer after I “let” the younger one do the dry swiffer to get all the dog hair up first. The accumulated crud that causes a mother to feel shame is simply an “accomplishment” for the child, who can easily see the progress they’ve made and the benefits of their work. A wonderful product for the WHOLE FAMILY!!
17 Carroll // May 7, 2009 at 9:32 pm
As the owner of a giant Yellow Labrador Retriever (known far and wide as the breed which sheds 364 days a year) ((we’ve never happened to be home on the day he doesn’t shed)) (((or maybe it’s just that with all that hair already on the floor, when he takes his day off we simply can’t tell))) I too Loooooove me my Swiffer. And sticking those cloth things into those little holey places? Yeaaaaa, for whatever wacky reason, that rocks my world too!
But, FP…I have a secret to share…are the Swiffer people still reading over our shoulder here or has this post been up so long they’ve moved on?
Hmmm…guess I’ll take my chances…
When you run out of Swiffer cloths? No need to knit yourself a re-usable one — just grab a paper towel. They too fit perfectly into the little holey places, and if you dampen it ever-so-slightly with wet fingers it does a fine job of picking up the fuzzies.
Now about the photo up there…we know you have a husband who sports a toe for a finger, but dear Goodness! What dire genetic mutation took place to give your poor little girl that foot sticking out of her elbow??!
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