Last night as you were sleeping, hackers broke into my website and replaced my main page with an ad for something about UFOs. (I probably was not sleeping, as I maxed out my Candy Crush lives three times when I should have been sawing the logs. Candy Crush. I am not proud.) Anyway, because the world is such an unpredictable place, we may as well get this NaBloPoMo gig started a day early, don’t you think?
Also: I have jury duty tomorrow for the first time in my life. If there has been a murder (or something similarly electrifying) and I am chosen to serve, voted foreperson of the jury because I’m wearing red Mary Janes, and then sequestered until Christmas or beyond, please know that my mind may be in that courtroom but my heart is with you. It’s always with you.
Did I watch all three presidential debates IN THEIR ENTIRETY?
I did.
Did I reward myself for this beefy feat by making a shirt?
I did.
(Enthusiasm for Such A Nasty Woman will soon die down and the phrase will inevitably be filed somewhere between Eat My Shorts and Where’s The Beef. Until that happens? I’ll be over here voting.)
NaBloPoMo will be kicking off one week from today and I’m already releasing myself from it if it does not serve me and I’m forgiving myself for failing. Yoga and Jesus, my friends. Yoga and Jesus. (That might be my next shirt.)
I’m still pinballing within the bowels of despair about not being able to see mountains in my distance. (My worst grade in high school was my drama grade.) We’ve been back from Colorado much longer than we were IN Colorado, and I like to believe that a part of me broke off there and is currently eating a caprese sandwich and looking forward to a late night breezy cardigan and clog walk. (We should sit around sometime and talk about our parallel lives and where our other selves are hanging out. I have so much to say about this. It fills my daydreams every single day which means I am definitely not living in the present and I apparently need even more Yoga and Jesus.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>
The second eight-week session of my yoga class started up last night and the teacher pushed me (figuratively, obviously) and I hated myself and then I loved myself and then it was time for shavasana and she put the following music in and tears hopped out of my ducts and dripped off of my ears onto the mat.
Please step out of the room before you start rolling your eyes at the music because I really can’t handle emotional invalidation right now. (You and I are still friends, but please know that *I* don’t roll my eyes at *you* when you’re feeling brittle. Also, walk a mile in my shoes and everyone is struggling with something you don’t really know about. Okay, then. I forgive you. Let’s hug. No. Not like that. Like this.)
Speaking of my shoes, tomorrow these will be arriving and sometimes I feel weird that new shoes are so invigorating for me, but also? I’m tired of feeling weird, so screw it. New shoes!
I have plans for these shoes and those plans involve adventures!
Speaking of adventures (and strained segues), we went to Colorado for four days last week. Some people spend their days dreaming of their next trip to the ocean. For me, the ocean is beautiful, but the mountains are Everything. (With a capital E!) Mountains are enchanting and unachievable and strengthening and everyone looks foxy with a mountain in their background.
Check it. You might not be able to see the mountains, but you can definitely smell my libidinousness. I’m windblown! I’ve licked my lips so much that all traces of Carmex have vanished! I want to make out with a tree!
(Here are just a few of my coniferous boyfriends.)
As soon as I saw this Aspen, I knew I wanted to be inside of it.
Here I am getting down to clown with a monumental statue (pun weak, but totally intended), and I didn’t even catch his name.
I have so many things I could tell you about this trip. I found a new favorite beer. I smelled marijuana. (I SMELLED it. Shut up!) I touched snow. I was able to spend some time with one of my very favorite people and we focused on Aspirations instead of Remember Whens and I hitched my wagon to a star and Dear Lord I Love Colorado.
Family photo taken inside Red Rocks Amphitheater, where the dazzling beams of contentment inside my head escaped and bounced all around us:
And now we’re back and I’m feeling more than a bit crestfallen. BUT, it is better to have admired mountains and returned home than never to have drunk a sour beer at all.
So I guess that whole “Hey! Maybe I’ll write every day in October!” thing didn’t really work out for us, did it?
Since last we spoke, I worked and I ate sushi and I drank coffee and I watched CNN. I’ve been knitting a tunic. I bought an anorak jacket, so I felt the need to do a bit of research on the word anorak. I signed on for the next yoga session. I bought tickets to see The Lumineers, but only because Andrew Bird and Margaret Glaspy are opening for them.
The girls are currently on fall break for ten days. We signed Harper up to get braces on Monday. We signed up to see some mountains before the end of the week. I’ll sneak in a haircut between now and then.
I learned something about myself about an hour ago, and that is this: I am not opposed to wearing an item of clothing called Jeggings, but only if the attached paper tag contains the word Sculpt. I am an adult.
Harper is currently at the mall. Meredith and Jeff are out looking at a Fender Stratocaster. I’m watching CNN because I’m drawn to goat rodeos, and tomorrow’s debate (if it happens) is happening in my town! My lip busted open a few minutes ago and I’m currently tasting blood and I’m wondering if it has anything to do with the despicable waves of negative energy. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>
‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>
