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Old Man Trouble, I Don’t Mind Him

November 13th, 2018 · 1 Comment · Daily

This website has been hacked every week since September something or other. When I say “hacked” I’m not really sure what I mean other than someone keeps going in and changing my login information and then I have to reach out to my hosting company and they have to block a bunch of suspicious IP addresses and maybe remove a few thousand weird links to sport jersey shops.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting on the couch and all I want is to introduce you to this goat I met a few weeks ago.

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I’m not sure what his name is or even if he IS a he. All I know is that I called him Jones and I fed him grass and told him a few stories about my life that I don’t tell very many people. (Jones just had that thing about him that makes you want to talk.)

This has happened three times in the past year, and it happened again last week: I ordered a Starbucks grande nonfat caramel macchiato with extra caramel drizzle. (Ugh. I know. Sometimes I despise people like me.) I tend to order on my phone from my car and then I walk into the store and bypass the line because I don’t want to talk to anyone. (Not because I’m unfriendly, but because I like to save my words.) I waited at the mobile order station until the barista yelled, “Mobile order for Angela!” and then I grabbed the drink, walked back out to my car, and drove away. Upon first swill, I realized it wasn’t the drink I ordered. It was ANOTHER Angela’s drink.

I know I’m not the only Angela in the world, but the fact that I’ve grabbed some other Angela’s drink THREE TIMES in the past year is sort of noteworthy, right? Last week’s Angela had ordered a gingerbread latte with three shots of espresso and three pumps of gingerbread syrup. And it was very okay, and because I was suffering through a migraine at the time, that extra dose of caffeine came in handy. The Angelas all take care of each other. The Angelas know.

I drank Angela’s drink while watching the clouds roll in at the park.

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In the past month, a park has gone up near our street, and a cookie cafe has opened less than two miles away.

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It’s almost like I’m living in a George Gershwin tune.

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Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant.

November 4th, 2018 · 2 Comments · Daily

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When I picked Harper up from school on Friday, I turned right into the park instead of left into the subdivision. I got out of the car and I walked and I stomped and I took photos and I wondered why the park planners didn’t bury the electrical wires.

Please let me take this opportunity to tell you that the above photo used to have an electrical wire in it, and that wire forced me to learn how to remove wires from photos. Always trying to turn a bad scene into a good scene, I am.

The final sentence in the previous paragraph is an unintentional segue into obscurity. I spent a good part of today trying to turn a bad scene into a good scene and sometimes I just really don’t know how to mom stomp teenager sadness. When an offer of burritos doesn’t turn things around, I have no idea how to proceed. (Wait. Did you hear that noise? That was me emitting a melodramatic sigh.)

I started decorating for Christmas on Friday. Decorating is a slow dance for me, and this is probably where I should tell you that I still have a few Christmas decorations up from last year. I dig a constant Christmas vibe.

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There is always a Halloween.

October 31st, 2018 · No Comments · Daily

This was the first photo I put up on Flickr.

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It was Halloween and Harper was six months old.
Meredith was two and a half.

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Suddenly, a year went by and Harper was 18 months old and Meredith was three and a half.

Reluctant Duck

Meredith will be the happiest Stephanie from Lazy Town for Halloween.

And everything kept happening and happening.

Murray Wiggle and Dorothy prepare for candy begging.

First we bend down really low, and then we fly away!

Ready to Roll!

Scary Selena Gomez and Rose Princess

Boo at the Zoo with Hermione and Evil Angel!

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At some point they started doing their own things on Halloween, and now they’re thirteen and fifteen and Harper is hanging out here to hand out candy and Meredith is out watching a scary movie with friends and our noses and ears continue to grow.

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Get it together. See what’s happening.

October 30th, 2018 · 2 Comments · Daily

Here comes a bad word as an adjective, and its root is repeated as a noun four sentences later.

Yesterday was just a really shitty day. I had a headache. I couldn’t get into my website. I had to go to the mall because Meredith needs a dress. Some crazy shit went down at the pretzel place. I locked myself in a dark garage (on purpose) for an hour because I couldn’t bear to see or hear people or dogs. Xanax.

Ah, but today? Today was good. I ate a waffle with my mom. I went over to Tempe’s place to knit and watch Hinterland. I ate a falafel gyro and drank what I believe was my first soda in over a year. (Diet Dr. Pepper!)

People, get ready. There’s a train coming.

Back in May, I ordered two books. BOTH of them published today, and both of them were in my mailbox when I got home from Tempe’s place.

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It’s To Kill a Mockingbird as a graphic novel (I hate the red “A GRAPHIC NOVEL” circle on the cover) and I have no idea how to feel about it. Yet. I will surely have opinions. Eventually.

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I go way back with Beastie Boys. I was quoted one time in my high school newspaper, and that quote was about me wanting to quit school and go on tour with Beastie Boys. When Prince released Purple Rain in 1984, my world was changed. When Beastie Boys’ Licensed to Ill was released in 1986, everything in my life was classified as “before I heard Licensed to Ill” or “after I heard Licensed to Ill.” I’m 20 pages in and absolutely loving the book. It feels like Christmas.

Tomorrow is Halloween. Not my favorite. BUT, it will feel good knowing that Joe Biden is in town. (I *know* you don’t like him. Just let me dance, okay? We should all be able to dance without fear, right? Even children of non-citizens who were born on US soil.)

We got determination—bass and highs.
White Castle fries only come in one size.

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Turkish Imposters and Dog Parks

October 30th, 2018 · 1 Comment · Daily

It’s difficult to succeed at NaBloPoMo when you have people from Turkey and China changing the passwords to your site so that you may no longer gain entry. (I’m seriously not making this up.)

They opened a park by our house. Within it is a dog park. Scout knows the way.

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28 down. 3 to go.

October 28th, 2018 · 2 Comments · Daily

1. I was unable to access my website earlier today because my username and password had somehow been changed. Understanding these issues and caring about them has become increasingly difficult for me. I just want to type, you know?

2. I’m all zonked on migraine meds right now yet I AM STILL HERE UPDATING THIS WEBSITE. Tenacity!

3. This morning Jeff and I had breakfast with friends. During breakfast, I told a very inappropriate joke. Sometimes I get all excited to have friends and suddenly I get nervous and I should probably retire my all-time favorite joke because every day finds it becoming less funny. BUT, the important takeaway? This morning Jeff and I had breakfast with friends. And (if you can ignore the joke) it was perfect.

4. I’m reading and listening to a book titled Do No Harm, and I AM IN. It’s all brain surgery and short stories. And so is my life, really.

5. This song is good for this time of this day.

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He smells like Fritos.

October 27th, 2018 · 1 Comment · Daily

Tonight was the final marching band competition of the season. Our band received the highest score of the night along with best music, best percussion, and best visual. I love every single thing about marching band, so I’m totally high right now on their final night wins. Hard work, dedication, and so forth.

This is how I’ll be spending the remainder of the evening.

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I am Sisyphus and they were ballerina butterflies.

October 26th, 2018 · 2 Comments · Daily

It’s 11pm and I pushed a xylophone up a hill and now I’m sitting on the couch wearing layers and it’s time for bed. Ah, but NaBloPoMo.

Tomorrow will be the final band competition of the season.

This photo was taken ten years ago and: TIME.

First we bend down really low, and then we fly away!

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Do you smell that? Could it be a bonfire?

October 25th, 2018 · 3 Comments · Daily

This is a Russian Pumpkin, meaning it’s a White Russian made with fresh pumpkin syrup.

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This is warm pumpkin bread pudding with pumpkin ice cream.

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Today I am wearing this jacket.

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The leaves are turning red, I’m back to twice daily hot tea, and I’ve been wearing my Jackson Hole hoodie to bed. Marching band season is winding down, I finished The Miniaturist this afternoon, and my Swing Left socks will be off the needles just in time to vote. Autumn. My favorite.

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Shall we loosen a jar from the nose of a bear?

October 24th, 2018 · 1 Comment · Daily

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It’s local (to me) and each jar holds twelve ounces of raw wildflower honey and limitless amounts of sparkle and joy. Like water for chocolate.*

The honey is super dark (meaning full of antioxidants) and super sweet (meaning I’m no longer putting honey AND sugar into my tea).

Best of all, every bottle is bedecked with a black and white photo of me in a bee suit, and if you live in St. Louis I’ll sell some to you.

*(I don’t believe our subdivision allows beekeeping. The honey is from a local farm.)

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