When you noticed that I updated my website today after not writing anything for nearly five months, you probably thought, “Yeah, this is going to be about Heather Armstrong.” Well, you’re wrong. (You’re not completely wrong. It was going to be about Heather, but singing another song about her isn’t going to help anyone. She’s dead and it’s horrible and I wish it wouldn’t have happened, but it did.)
The words you’re reading right now replaced the big long paragraph I wrote about starting Fluid Pudding in 2001. In that paragraph I said something about Heather’s site, and I even worked in a fuse-box/breaker-tripping metaphor that I hated almost immediately. (You would have hated it, too.) Anyway, it was a really bad paragraph. We’re all better off without it.
Here’s something. My doctor put me on a quick run of amphetamines, and my God I love amphetamines. They make me feel less hungry, my focus is a spotlight instead of a swinging lantern, and I don’t have to pull over and nap at truck stops if I’m driving for more than 30 minutes. I’ll be taking the final pill early tomorrow morning. If you hear a strange sound at around 0600 CST, it’s just me singing “Someone’s crying, Lord, kumbaya…”
(You can ask questions about the amphetamines, but I’m probably not going to answer the questions.)
Here’s something else. Instead of knocking on our door, our HOA (three cranky old men with clipboards) reported us to The County a few weeks back because they think we need to paint our fence. (Our fence is a good fence in need of a little stain. It is not the dilapidated eyesore they are making it out to be. Ah, but good fences do not make good neighbors, Robert Frost. Only impeccable fences make good neighbors.) The County is now presenting us with documents and using words like Defendant and Citation and Fine (as in “pay this fine” and not “your fence is so fine”) and none of this would truly bother me, except look:
This photo, taken last week, shows me staining the fence. The second letter from The County (with our court date and fine total) arrived today. It was mailed two days ago. The HOA is not recognizing our efforts and I’m pissed and get off my lawn and everyone can go to hell, et cetera.
Maybe I’ll write again soon and maybe I’ll write again never. Regardless, it’s always good to see you.
You’re right; I did think that. I too am sad — mostly for her kids and family, though. Hoping she herself can well and truly rest at peace now.
As for you, young lady, clearly you are doing an outstanding job of restoring that fence! Fie on those clipboard fogies for not approaching you in person first :-(
Love to you. Your fence looks great.
Eff that HOA. I think of you often b/c I like to walk my dog at your local park. I’m glad you didn’t write more about what happened to Heather. I don’t know what else can be said except I am glad for the connections I made in the early days of blogging including you. I’m grateful.
Exactly what I needed today. And obviously your fence is superb .
Nice to hear from you! ?
So in the land of the free where gun control is against your constitution, you can be fined for having a perfectly nice looking fence? Tell me another one.
This may be a cultural misunderstanding on my part, never set foot on your continent.
But anyway, I feel for you.
? (bucket head)
It replaced my heart with a question mark. Boo
Your fence is fine. The HOA clipboard guys can go suck and egg.