Warning: I have succeeded.

Confession: I am not a fan of success stories unless the successful person is a charitable underdog. I don’t like when actresses talk about losing their baby weight. Most triumphs are just a blip to me unless the hero had to clear an obstacle without the help of looks or money. I would make a terrible NFL cheerleader. (For many reasons. I fall down a lot, I don’t understand football, and I don’t look good in a sparkle vest.)

Because I know how *I* respond to non-world-changing success stories, I’ve been stumbling with stutters and stops on how to write this entry. The only person who was helped in the following success story is me, and the person who helped me was paid. I am not special. I know my story is the type of story that makes my eyes roll, and I know that you and I are more alike than different. With that said, bear with me as I grab my horn.

(Remember when we didn’t require glasses to see? We were all so innocent back then, weren’t we? Remember the theme song to Ice Castles? So do I, Robby Benson, so do I.)

Six months ago I came over here and told a story about how I had reached the point where I no longer wanted to leave the house because my hormones were all jiggly and I had put on twenty pounds since my surgery and none of my clothes were fitting and I was unhappy in a lot of ways and spending a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and as I’m sitting here typing this paragraph I’m realizing how fun it must have been to NOT hang out with me back then.

When enough became Enough, I called Kathy, who is a Holistic Nutrition and Wellness Coach. After talking to her during the consultation, I knew this was going to be the adventure that sparked what needed to be lit. I quickly signed on. (Although this is a horrible comparison, over the summer I ate a doughnut that was infused with strawberry and mint and I’ve never had anything like it before or since, and it just makes me feel good knowing that the doughnut existed. I feel good knowing that Kathy exists.)

Fast forward to today. In the past six months, I’ve changed the way I eat, I’ve changed my relationship with food (I know that sounds weird to people who don’t really think about their relationship with food, but when you’re me, it doesn’t sound weird at all.), I’ve evaluated different areas of my life that need attention (career, spirituality, creativity, relationships, and so on), I lost 18 pounds, my clothes fit in a way that doesn’t cause pain when I button or zip them, I’m working, I’m walking, I’m knitting, I’m leaving the house, and I’m not saying the F word when it’s time to shop for bras or dresses. I’m happier and I’m better and I’ll continue to truck this way because It’s A Good Way to Truck.

Did I have to count points? No. Did I have to diet? No. Did I have to exercise? No. Did I have to crawl on my belly like a reptile while offering my throat to the wolf with the red roses? Yes. (No!)

Kathy and I talked every two weeks and we eventually figured out my personal magical formula for healthy eating which is something like low fat and no processed foods and limited dairy and very limited grains and no peanuts but lots of lentils and vegetables and fruit and almond butter. When I started eating this way, I immediately felt really good, and my body was like, “Hey! If you’re going to keep this up, I’ll help you fit back into your jeans!” Doughnuts have not been eliminated. If I want a doughnut I’ll eat a doughnut because I don’t want to spend the day thinking about a missed doughnut. Best of all, after I eat a doughnut I no longer feel like a jerk because I ate a doughnut. (I KNOW. Don’t even try to figure out how my mind works. Also, don’t make me look at a clock when it’s 3:13 because we’ll have to stand still until 3:14 so I can look at the clock twice.)

Some people do well with high fat and low carbs. Some people do best with no beans. Kathy is an expert at questions and tweaks and accountability and motivation. As she told me during our first phone call, I climb the ladder while she holds the bottom. And she’s the person you want holding your bottom, which sounds a lot dirtier than I intended, but I’m leaving it. (Because it makes me uncomfortable.) Kathy was everything I needed and was always there to answer questions or share ideas and recipes and support and sanity.

I can’t recommend her enough. (I’m actually singing songs from Beaches in my mind for her right now, because the past six months have been THAT GOOD.) Here is a link to her website. If you’re ready to make a commitment, she’s a great coach. Best of all, if you get started soon, she can help you through the holidays. (The holidays can be physically and emotionally rough if you’re anything like me, and I like to think you are. Maybe not with the whole 3:13 thing, but in other ways.)

This is where I should post before and after photos, but I don’t have any. Instead, I’m posting the photo I took on Friday after treating myself to a coffee and a walk around Home Depot where I purchased an Echinacea plant that was carrying a family of bees. Please know that right now I look like the flower at 2:00 who is doing her own thing and just seems happier than she used to be.

I’ll be back soon. We’re finishing up our fall break today, which means burrito lunch with friends and the possibility of bath bomb construction. NaBloPoMo starts in two weeks. So many things are going on and going on.

Thanks for sticking around. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>