If I rub a balloon against my head, it won’t stick to the wall. That’s the only downside, really.

If the virus wasn’t a thing, I would be getting a tattoo right now to celebrate my 50th birthday. It was a four hour appointment scheduled from 11-3 and was going to enhance and build on the Georgia O’Keeffe hands on my ankle and hhhhhhhhhhhh. (Please know that I know I have merely been inconvenienced. I am alive and healthy and we have food and I smell like chamomile oil.)

Last week I told you that I wanted to shave my head. On Saturday I went ahead and did it because: 1. Sometimes we don’t get to do the things we really want to do just because of Reasons. There was no reason to not shave my head. 2. John Waters once advised a graduating class to “Go out in the world and fuck it up beautifully.” Shaving my head really has nothing to do with that. I just needed a #2 for my #1.

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One thing I’ve learned is that when your head is shaved, most facial expressions make you look a little deranged. SO, maybe the whole “Britney Spears is BALD and CRAZY!” thing was only half true.

I’m not sure I’ll keep it like this forever, but anything goes when you’re almost 50 and going through a med change during a pandemic that is starting to smell like death hornets.

Best of all, when I don’t want to look like a baldy, I can just throw on an amazing hat!

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