Swans don’t eat marzipan.

This afternoon we went to the St. Louis Ballet’s performance of The Nutcracker. (My friend’s daughter is completely magical as a dragon dancer in this year’s production.) Although photos weren’t allowed during the ballet, I managed to take this one during Act I.

NuttyC

As you can see from the photo, Clara is really digging the nutcracker that Herr Drosselmeyer gave her. (Times have changed since 1892 when I guess it was okay for a creepy guy in a shiny cape to show up at a party, raise a little hell, and give a girl a nutcracker. I know normalizing things is big right now. Can we please normalize Pulling a Drosselmeyer?)

I had never seen The Nutcracker before this afternoon, and the St. Louis Ballet’s performance was really beautiful. My only criticism is that I wish they had employed a live orchestra instead of using recorded music. (Thanks, Obama.)

Here are answers to some of the questions I had during the show.

Has the choreography changed since the original production in 1892?
Yes, because dancers and their bodies have changed since 1892. Also, different versions of The Nutcracker are being developed every year. There are versions where Clara and the nutcracker (who I’ll call Nutty C just because it makes me laugh) kiss, versions that were Americanized to remove any hint of the original German setting, a version that depicts the struggles of African-American people in Philadelphia, and even a Revolutionary War-inspired version with George Washington as Nutty C and King George III as the mouse king.

I don’t think I knew there was a 1993 movie with Macaulay Culkin as Nutty C. I’ll pass on that one. (I’m the only person I know who hates Home Alone. It’s a long and horrible story that’s part of the 17% I’ll never share.)

Did Tchaikovsky know he was composing the music for a dance production?
He did! He was commissioned in 1891 by the director of the Imperial Theatres to compose music for a ballet based on a story titled The Nutcracker and the Mouse King. The choreographer for the ballet was Marius Petipa, a guy Tchaikovsky had worked with three years prior when he composed music for The Sleeping Beauty. Petipa, who I keep wanting to call Pepita, knew precisely what he wanted for The Nutcracker, and was able to provide Tchaikovsky with the tempos and exact number of bars needed for each dance. Amazing.

While Tchaikovsky was busting out numbers, a friend of his challenged him to include a tune based on a one-octave scale.

Tchaikovsky: Ascending or descending?
Friend: It doesn’t matter. Whichever.
Tchaikovsky: Do you know that I’m Tchaifuckingkovsky?

So beautiful. What a badass.

(Also, in case you missed the news, I’m on Substack now. This makes me subscribable. This link will take you there…)

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