Medicating a Pig, Executing a McGee, and Looking Like a Lesbian

I know exactly what you’re asking yourself.

“Can Angela at Fluid Pudding install a bidet?!”

The answer to that question is: Yes! Since last we spoke, I installed a bidet (with modifications!), fixed a garage door opener, replaced a showerhead and a halogen bulb, purchased bannister brackets, and medicated a guinea pig.

October had an ear infection, so twice each day for fourteen days we had to wrangle her out of the cage, wrap her in a blanket, and force a syringe full of antibiotics down her throat.

Also, a few weeks ago I fell in love with a baby sticker that was affixed to the changing station in a taco dump that was serving up fried bologna tacos.

We really have so much to talk about, but let’s hold off for a bit and just spend some time looking at Claude McGee, who was executed at the Missouri State Penitentiary back in 1951 at the age of 39.

(Claude robbed a house and killed a guy back in 1935, and then in 1948 he killed the guy who helped him kill the original guy by beating him in the head with a hammer.)

I know times have changed (Cole Porter even wrote a song about it!) since 1951. With that said, this was me at 39.

I had decided to grow out my hair (we make our beds and we lie in them…), so I was holding paper behind my head to show how I was floppy on the top and shaved on the sides. I hadn’t yet made any kills. I didn’t own a hammer, but I knew the lyrics to Divine Hammer.

Fact: The last execution at the Missouri State Penitentiary took place in January of 1989, when I was starting the second semester of my freshman year at a university 30 miles away from the gas chamber. I had just gotten my right ear double pierced, and my grandma told me it made me look like a lesbian (and not in a good way). I had forfeited my piano scholarship and was learning how to smoke clove cigarettes. I was a big fan of The Sugarcubes.

Honorable Mentions in the category of Hammer Songs I Know:

For the record, I’m against the death penalty and for looking like a lesbian.