That Funky Monkey

Untitled

At the beginning of every Saturday morning yoga practice, our instructor will ask if we have any requests for poses or if we have specific areas of the body that are in need of attention. (Someone always yells, “Core!” and then several people I’ll never understand start nodding their heads.)

This morning, one of the regulars requested Lizard into Hanumanasana. I’m always down for a lizard, so I figured Hanumanasana couldn’t be all that bad. (Remind me to brush up on my Sanskrit.)

Fifteen minutes later, it was revealed that Hanumanasana = Splits.

I won’t share the details (although those details contain words like Scootch and Washcloth!). Just know that I absolutely SUCKED at Hanumanasana. BUT, because yoga is a journey and ‘Hanumanasana’ translates to Hindu Monkey God Pose, I feel like I need to pound it out over the next few months just so I can say, “I can rock the Hindu Monkey God.”

I’ll keep you updated. Obviously.

What do you get for a guy who’s been around for 29,952 days?

My dad was born on Sunday, November 22, 1942, which means today he is 29,952 days old.

The #1 song when he was born was “I Had the Craziest Dream” by Harry James & His Orchestra.

The most popular movie at that time was Cat People.

(The most popular book was a historical novel about the Crucifixion of Jesus, but let’s not go down that road. NOT TODAY.)

Early this morning I hopped into the car and drove to Mr. Meowski’s. (The opening of the bakery was the result of cosmic poetry, and I think you might enjoy the story.)

 Untitled

Mr. Meowski’s is known for their sourdough, and if you get there early enough a batch will still be baking. And if you’re lucky, the owner will remove a loaf from the oven, toss it into a brown paper bag, and hand it to you steaming hot. It’s beautiful, it’s delicious, and it’s exactly what you get for a guy who’s been around for 29,952 days—especially if he’s one of the good ones.

I’ll always invert your water bottle.

I went to see my doctor yesterday and all was well, so I decided to make all not so well by getting both my flu shot (left arm!) and my Covid vaccine (right arm!) and today I’m feeling a little off, which means the microchip that was implanted during last year’s inoculation was programmed to detect how I voted a few weeks back, and now I’m getting a big dose of DNA-altering “That’ll Show Her!” Argh! Foiled again!

Because I’m not feeling so great, today’s post will be devoted to two of my very favorite videos from Youtube.

I first saw The Little Girl Giant 18 years ago and I love everything about it—the dedication of the people operating the puppet, the music, the loneliness, the wonder… I think it’s really beautiful. (The way the puppet looks at the girl on her arm chokes me up every single time.)

But also: TECHNOVIKING!

Wait. One more. Meredith shared the following with me last week, and it makes me so happy because it is of my time and there’s time enough at last.

I’ve got the moon in my eye.

I knit some stuff during my break from the website. Let’s take a look!

UntitledUntitledIt’s linen, it’s super comfortable, and I wore it nearly every day over the summer because it hangs low.
Pattern: Ceira by Amy Christoffers

UntitledIt’s itchy and it’s not the best fit, but I love the colors.
Pattern: Elton by Joji Locatelli

UntitledIt’s cotton, I made it for the Ani DiFranco show, and then I never wore it again. I’m not sure why.
Pattern: Deschain by Leila Raabe

UntitledI purposefully made the sleeves a little longer than they needed to be, and I adore everything about this sweater.
Pattern: Petra by Olive Knits

UntitledUntitled I knit a pig around a ball and mailed it to a friend.
Pattern: Oink by Susan B. Anderson

UntitledI knit a sock. Just one. I’ll get around to its partner eventually.
Pattern: Cherven Socks by Alena Malevitch

UntitledThis is my current project. It will eventually look like this.
Pattern: Tivoli Shawl by Mary Pranica

Today I knit for a few minutes during my lunch break as I watched the first episode of a documentary about Charles Manson. “If you’re going to do something, do it well. And leave something witchy.” Will do, Charles Manson. Will do, you wacky psychopath.

There’s a chance that I’ll cause a disruption.

After posting yesterday, I met up with an old friend at a gross dive.

Untitled

We talked about books and theater and the election and music and aging and death and written language and brain dissection and suicide bombers.

And we did it in style.

Untitled

Then we bolted over to a high school where we sat in a big room and applauded as enchantingly-illumined teenagers in periwigs and bustles cracked wise to the tune of a C-major piano sonata by Mozart before being rescued by their own coats. (Also, during the performance I choked on peanut M&M’s [sic] and when I tried to hold back a cough my tear duct popped out so I had to press it back in while glugging down a bottle of water as tears streamed down the right side of my face. At any given moment, so many things can go wrong!)

The best news? My friend is still my friend.

Untitled

This morning I had breakfast with my sister and my nephew and during the walk back to my car, I noticed this statue.

Untitled

Obviously, I fell in love with her.

Untitled

And then it was time to hit the road for the three hour drive home, but not before picking up some discounted syphilis.

Untitled

(I had to pass on the gonorrhea. I just don’t have the space for it.)

I know how to use them.

I just fell in love with this building.

Untitled

If I lived there, I would be just a few steps away from a Greek restaurant that pushes fries into their falafel sandwiches.

UntitledUntitled

(You might think, as I did, that you would prefer your fries on the side. BUT, doesn’t it all end up in the same place? Why not conserve energy?)

Also nearby is a used bookstore with a cat feature.

UntitledUntitled

The final stop of the day was the best stop of all, because that was the stop during which I got legs.

Untitled

You just never know.

They thought it was deer meat, but it wasn’t.

I went to a memorial service today for a woman I’ve never met. Towards the end of the service, the chaplain said something like, “Know that Judy cared about You. Think about that. And You cared about her because she brought a lot of Joy into the world. She was incredibly Unique and she took Delight in creating art and making the world a more beautiful place. So, remember: Joy. Unique. Delight. You. That’s JUDY.” (See what he did there?)

Untitled

After the service I jumped in the car and drove three hours west. (The photo above was taken in Lebanon, Missouri, which is where I stopped to stretch my legs and purchase (and eat) a Reese’s Peanut Butter Tree.) During the drive I thought about my name as an acronym and the words that might be used at my funeral to describe me. Then I listened to the new Jon Batiste album. Then I thought about the woman who carried a suitcase filled with chopped up people. Then I listened to part of the Bono memoir. (I’ve never been a huge U2 fan, but the memoir includes music and sound effects and is really great.) Then I drove through a town that smelled like McDonald’s fries and bonfires and it made me feel very happy-sad, which is sort of nice when the sky is dark and the moon is full and the traffic is light and Affable Nocturnal Groovy Empathetic Liberal Avocado.

Sometimes I feel like a nurse.

I guess if you’re squeamish this post might not be for you, but it also depends on what pokes your squeam. Like I mentioned a few days back: I can’t look at drawings of animals dressed up like other animals without feeling nauseated. This is not that.

You can tell I’m stretching for ideas for Fluid Pudding posts when I say things like: I do not absorb vitamin B12 from food or oral supplements.

I used to drive to the doctor’s office every month for a B12 shot, but what a huge inconvenience that was for a person without a full-time job who had nothing but time on her hands! One day I asked the nurse to show me how to shoot myself, so she did. I never went back.

Untitled

I’m now supposed to give myself a shot every month, but what a huge inconvenience that is for a person who is now working, but spends more than half of her time at home sitting very close to the room where the shot supplies are held! Like I do with many things in life, I wait until things feel weird and then I scramble. Before today, I hadn’t given myself a shot since July. (I know. I KNOW! Just remember that right now it’s (sort of) My Body, MY Choice.)

Look how pretty it is! It looks like Kool-Aid and it protects my myelin sheath!

Untitled

This is what it looks like when I’m about to put it inside of me. (That sounds dirty but it isn’t—because I use isopropyl alcohol, which cleans your skin AND de-ices your car!)

Untitled

Here I am pushing in the juice that helps me convert food into energy! Whoosh!

Untitled

AND, done!

Untitled

(I’ll probably try harder tomorrow. Thanks for sticking around.)