I come to you this day to report that my colon is clear and healthy, and I may now sit safely under the large (and slightly itchy) IBS quilt.
Wait. Did you just say you wanted to see a photograph of my colon? Well, here you go!
(That is not a hot dog, René Magritte!)
As you can see, what my colon lacks in personality, he makes up for in shininess! Pizazz, even!
When he gets spruced up a bit, he turns into an angry (and sweaty) chemistry teacher!
“Astatine!!! Einsteinium!!! Damnit!!!”
(Thanks to everyone for the comments and e-mails. I’m now off to Chicago for my annual Fiber and Sushi Hajj.)
26 responses so far ↓
1 sharon // Sep 10, 2009 at 11:38 am
Wow…Your colon is sparkly! I did not know they send you home with complimentary photos! Excellent news!
2 Carroll // Sep 10, 2009 at 11:58 am
Hah! Rene (insert accent) Magritte, eh? I tell ya, I learn something new every single day around here. So, why is there an *image* of a hot dog up there, eh, Angie??
And, IBS you say. Something to “live with”, “manage”, “control”…possibly stress-related, hormonal connections too… Hmmm. Sounds like all you have to do it stop being a woman, and a busy wife and mother & you’ll be just fine.
Good luck with all that (Seriously, I do of course mean good luck with figuring out how to manage/control your symptoms) and a big “whew!” from here that it’s nothing more dire.
Sushi, ho!!
3 Em // Sep 10, 2009 at 12:21 pm
It looks like… I don’t know what. When they took a picture of my eyeball at the doctor it looked like space but this looks like… pink… space? Anyway, glad it is all okay and you are healthy from the inside out!
4 Robin // Sep 10, 2009 at 12:36 pm
That might be the sparkliest colon I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen many colons.
Perhaps the angry chemistry teacher’s been the cause of all the rucus.
5 The Coffee Lady // Sep 10, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I never said that. I never said I wanted to see your colon.
6 Kristin // Sep 10, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Actually, I think your colon is Dick Enrico…
https://www.2ndwindexercise.com/our-CEO.html
7 Angella // Sep 10, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Your colon is really shiny – does he like glitter?
(Glad you’re OK.)
8 Kara // Sep 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Ah, IBS claims another victim.
Glad to hear it’s nothing serious, although trying to figure out an avoid your triggers gets very tiring.
Also, that is a very shiny and clean colon.
Have fun gettin’ your fiber on. :)
9 C @ Kid Things // Sep 10, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Wow. I had no idea a colon would be shiny. I guess I never thought about it, strangely enough. How informative!
10 onthecurb // Sep 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I must say you did a fabulous job cleaning that sucker out before the photo shoot.
I bet the Jolly Ranchers created that lovely sparkle. Or you have fairies living in your colon. Fairies who apparently are prone to bouts of irritability.
Glad it’s nothing more serious.
11 brit // Sep 10, 2009 at 4:34 pm
you had me at firth
12 Linda // Sep 10, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I think the chemistry teacher resembles C. Nickless. What do you think?
13 Alli // Sep 10, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Hey, nice ass!
14 No Minimom // Sep 10, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I’d go with the irritable fairies theory.
Have fun in Chi Town! Can’t wait to hear all about your knitting adventures. I bet you’ll have quite the yarn to spin (ar ar ar).
15 Keyona // Sep 10, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Well isn’t that the most beautiful colon I have evah seen!
16 Isabella Golightly // Sep 11, 2009 at 12:31 am
I have to agreed with ‘on the curb’, and I have for one am very grateful that it is clean & sparkly… it reminds of that urban myth about the visit to the gynaecologist (I think they’re called ob/gyn in the US?) & the glitter soap…. whoda thunk you could get sparkly laxatives!
17 KBO // Sep 11, 2009 at 8:52 am
It looks like a meat doughnut.
18 lynn @ human, being // Sep 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm
1) Yay, I’m so glad it’s not Crohn’s
2) I conquered IBS through very deliberate measures and now only rarely have attacks. These measures were:
a) taking 3 Tablespoons of benefiber daily
b) taking a probiotic daily
c) having my Vitamin D level checked, learning it was 11 (should be 60) and starting on a long, high-dose regimen of supplementation
d) stopping hormonal birth control (I really started feeling better once I got rid of the Fucking Mirena IUD)
e) acupuncture
f) quitting dairy, except for cheese and ice cream on occasion (and then I pay for it)
g) taking Valerian and Kava Kava when I feel stressed, because stress is the #1 trigger for most IBS
It’s a journey to figure out your exact prescription. The best guide I found was a naturopath. The MDs don’t know shit (ha!), and IBS is essentially a throw-away diagnosis for “we don’t see anything structurally wrong with you so here’s a name for what ails you and there is no good pharmaceutical so good luck with that.”
Yes, I am a little bitter. :)
19 K a b l o o e y // Sep 12, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Are you sure that’s shine and not powdered sugar? Because your colon firth looks a little like a cruller, no? And it sounds like Lynn’s measures could have spared you a scoping, but then again, then we wouldn’t have known what a shiny chemistry teacher looks like. Also great to have Crohn’s eliminated. Hope the sushi was epic.
20 kimblahg // Sep 13, 2009 at 2:41 am
glad everything turned out relatively okay. your colon does kinda freak me out though. i’ve never visualized my own colon.
21 kristin // Sep 14, 2009 at 9:00 am
Hey, I have that same quilt! I was diagnosed three years ago, after 13 years of getting sick every time I ate. Just knowing what is wrong with you is a big part of feeling better. I pretty much eat whatever I want at home now, but I’m really careful when I go out to eat. My triggers are melted cheese, milk, and super greasy things (hello, last night’s homemade fries). After I was diagnosed, I bought “Eating for IBS” by Heather Van Vorous. It has some good recipes, especially if you like Asian foods (which, unfortunately, I don’t so much). It’s a good place to start.
22 pharmgirl // Sep 14, 2009 at 4:11 pm
nice prep.
23 La La // Sep 15, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Love your blog! Butt… I will be glad when you post again ’cause I’m kind of getting freaked out by seeing this pop up every day when I open all my blogs to read. :-)
24 Deanna // Sep 16, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Can you post something else so I can quit looking at your colon?
25 jdg // Sep 16, 2009 at 6:06 pm
whoa, I don’t even know what my own wife’s colon looks like.
26 lynne // Sep 24, 2009 at 9:06 am
Dear MS Pudding,
You have an amazingly clean and shiny colon! I’m pleased t announce your colon passes our health and safety standards inspection with flying colours.
Actually, I have never seen what a colon likes before. I am amazed at what you learn on the internet.
I hope you and you colon have a good day.
Kind regards
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