Nothing to see here…

I’m sort of updating this as I go, until I end up doing an inadvertent impression of Glenn Close crying in the shower.

Breakfast: One cup of Earl Grey with (perfectly legal) honey, one half cup of cherry gelatin, one half cup of beef broth, one iced coffee with Splenda.

Mid-morning snack: One cup of apple juice, and one apple Jolly Rancher. Yeah. Seriously.

Lunch: One watermelon Jolly Rancher. More beef broth. Whee! I’m shaky!

Mid-afternoon snack: Chicken broth, because I like to Shake It Up. Two watermelon Jolly Ranchers. Iced coffee. Water. Cherry Jolly Rancher. Blue raspberry Jolly Rancher. Viva la Jolly Ranchers!

4:00 CST: Time for the purging of the innards. La la la la laaaaaaaah! Ouch.

Dinner: Beef broth. No more Jolly Ranchers. Two 32 oz. bottles of Gatorade, each spiked with half a bottle of Miralax.

9:12 CST: Hating it. The end.

Mood: Irritable. Don’t look at me. No. I mean it.

Frown upside down/scar into star/etc.: The tooth fairy had to make an emergency trip to Walgreens last night.
scarecrow

Also, we went bowling yesterday. Meredith tends to throw the ball and then twist her body around in an attempt to alter the atmospheric pressure just enough to attract the ball to the pins.

Harper handles the ball like a hot potato and follows every throw with a victory dance.
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16 thoughts on “Nothing to see here…”

  1. Fantastic! I wanted those videos to last longer :-)

    I checked in here specifically to find out what’s for breakfast — you didn’t disappoint me. I plan to start the day with a small amount of blueberry/pomegranate juice with a mixer of diet 7-up in your honor. Seriously!

    You did promise that your readers will each lose five pounds today if we hang with you through this, right?

    Weigh-in tomorrow!!

  2. I hate to be a downer, but if your cherry jello was red, you might not want to eat any more of it. If the food coloring comes through your system it can look like blood on the ‘scopies. At least, that’s what my gastro told me last time.

  3. Those are two bowling techniques I have yet to try. My all-time high score bowling is somewhere in the 70s so I’m willing to try anything to get into the _high_ 70s.

  4. I’m going to pass on the Jolly Rancher and Beef broth sympathy diet and just resolve to go bowling with my kid. Your girls have style and put quite a lot of speed on the ball. The one time we tried going, snow fell, melted and froze in the time between my daughter letting go of the ball and the time it gingerly bumped into a pin.

  5. Yeah, hang on a minute, they let you have CHERRY Jell-o?! I have been suffering through lemon jello for YEARS because they told me I couldn’t have anything red. Lemon jello tastes like ass. Ass that’s been sprayed with Pledge furniture polish. SOMEONE’S gastroenterologist is going to get a sternly worded letter, bub.

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