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I’m doing something that scares me and it involves a tank top which means my life must be pretty good.

March 26th, 2016 · 3 Comments · Daily

I went to two Old Navy stores today because they were having a big sale and I tried on something like 3,293 dresses before finally going with some sort of black flowy number that’s a bit too short so I have to search out footless tights or some crap like that and damnit, Old Navy, how come every single thing I try on in your store has some sort of element that I don’t like? Cute flowery shirt, but I don’t like ruffle sleeves. Cute eyelet dress, but too many pleats. Cute vertical stripes, but I don’t do the drop waist thing.

I spent seventeen hours at Old Navy before drunkenly (and I hadn’t been drinking) proclaiming that this summer shall be The Summer of The Tank Top. (They were having a big tank top sale.) I then crawled up to the register and purchased two.

I hate tank tops. I hate them. I feel naked in them and I typically wear them only if I have at least three layers over them.

BUT, it’s time to cartwheel out of my everyday style. It’s time to stop wearing long sleeves during the summer months. It’s time to let the world get to know my arms! (I’m trying very hard to not use the phrase Comfort Zone because it’s overused and I’m trying to find alternatives.)

I decided to make the biggest muscle I could make with my right arm for this post because STRENGTH! POWER! TANK TOP! and I believe this might be the final post of NaBloPoLenta (but I haven’t yet done a knitting post or finished my About the Pudding list!) so NABLOPOLENTA!!!

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Sadly, I think I left my muscles in the fitting room at Old Navy. Good think I kept my H vein. (Depending on the day, it stands for either Humdrum or Humdinger! Hermit. Hungry.)

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I’ve got the power of bumble.

March 25th, 2016 · 3 Comments · Daily

The charity truck driver refused to take our couch and loveseat this morning because he claimed that they were too worn. As a result, we have turned our garage into a man cave and/or free furniture outlet. (The guy down the street has two couches and a flat screen television hanging in his garage. If you drive by his house when a game is on, his garage door will be open and he’ll be lounging on the couches with several of his friends. Not a bad scene, really. I believe he also has a neon beer sign.) ((Clarification: The couches aren’t hanging. Just the television.))

After the truck drove away, the four of us went to a movie theater to see Zootopia. It had already sold out.

“Today is a real pisser,” I said, before remembering that I’m trying to not talk like that anymore.

We traveled to a nearby cookie bakery and drowned our sorrows before walking to a popcorn shop that also sells wine and weird gift items. Do you know how sometimes around Christmas different stores have personalized Christmas ornaments and you just spin the display around until you find your name and its associated ornament (if you’re interested in that sort of thing, which I normally am not)? Well, this particular store had a personalized display for big pocket knives. Every single name on the spinning rack was a boy name. The only knives associated with women were “#1 Grandma” and “#1 Mom”. In other words, if you’re a girl who wants a knife at that store, you have to have a baby or a baby who has a baby.

Even Jesus had a personalized knife on the rack. Also, Boss Man.

I didn’t want a knife, but if I *did* I would probably have to go with Hank. Or maybe Dick. (My sister gave me a Dick coffee cup when I was in college and it was one of my very favorite things because I thought it was so So SO funny.)

The highlight of the afternoon was going to Elements Herbology where I purchased some Bumble Power Tea Additive.

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I’m hoping it carries me through the allergy season.

I always feel a little anxious on Good Friday.

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I used to spend my Thursdays watching The Waltons.

March 24th, 2016 · 5 Comments · Daily

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Today was a perfect day.

The girls and I visited with my parents this morning. My dad showed us his tomato plants, my mom finished a shawl, and the girls hung out with them for lunch so I could join one of my very favorite people for a strawberry salad before walking to an amazing spice store where I purchased three types of tea and some crystallized ginger. (I’m still kicking myself a bit for not purchasing the raspberry jalapeño jelly or the apple butter barbecue sauce.)

After returning to my current home from my childhood home I practiced yoga, listened to William Hurt reading The Sun Also Rises, and watched Jeopardy before our family volunteered with friends at a food pantry.

Spring break has been slow but amazing. I hope your Thursday was just as good.

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Spring Break Stereotype Shattering

March 23rd, 2016 · 7 Comments · Daily

450 seventh grade girls gathered before the sun came up to attend a statewide middle school conference because science, technology, engineering, and math should not be considered “non-traditional” career choices for women.

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50 of those girls are from St. Louis.
Meredith is one of them.

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Tuesday!

March 22nd, 2016 · 3 Comments · Daily

The new couches arrived today just in time for a canine snooze.
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I’ve never had a leather couch. I’ve never had a reclining couch. I’ve never had a couch that held a special compartment for drinks and things.

Me: That box thing will be perfect for my knitting projects!

Meredith: I think it’s made for remote controls, but if you want to be all “Me First!” about it, I guess you can shove your knitting in there.

(Meredith’s sense of humor is often exactly what I need. Here is another example, because I know you’re craving one.)

Me: Did you see that? She called out for the raspberry shaved ice twice and when no one responded, she pitched it!

Meredith: Well, you know they’re not going to put up with any BS at a place called Bahama Buck’s.

Unrelated: I think the next shirt I make will go a little something like this.
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108 Insights Into My Soul

March 21st, 2016 · 3 Comments · Daily

The neighbors down the street have a tree that looks like this (because this is their tree) and I really have no idea what it is, but I love it. When I pass it during my walks I always say, “You’re a very pretty tree.” because we all need encouragement to keep doing nice things.

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I have a friend who has the strange ability to read my mind and I could sing songs to you all evening about her, but I also want to keep her all to myself. Yesterday morning I spent quite a bit of time reading about mala beads. I think they’re lovely, I like the thought of having a tool for focusing on good intentions, and I’ve been a little stressed out lately so anything that gives my fingers something to do is just what the doctor ordered (although the doctor didn’t really order it). ((Clichés are rattlesnakes.))

Last night I met my friend for tea. She reached into her bag and handed these jasper mala beads to me. She had no idea that I had been doing research. Magical.

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Also, I waved and wove a frond!

March 20th, 2016 · 4 Comments · Daily

This is what happened on the morning of the first day of spring.

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(So many people were angry about the snow. “SNOW?! It’s SPRING!” Also, “SNOWWTF?!” To me, it felt like one last hurrah and five hours later it was completely gone, so settle down, Ruffles!)

Jeff was the reader at church this morning and because Palm Sunday was one of his favorite Sundays when he was growing up, I loved that he was able to hit the podium and share his gift. (Not only can he read, but he can READ!!!) ((When we were dating, he would call my voicemail at work and read essays to me. I would often wake up in the middle of the night and check my voicemail just so I could hear his voice sharing the latest installments. Goopy love.))

Today’s theme was Advocacy and I’m so glad I was there to take some notes.

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Also, this was spotted in the coat room.

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I do love our church.

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Do you ever wonder what the Bay City Rollers are doing?

March 19th, 2016 · 3 Comments · Daily

Although I meant to knit, spin, and read, I spent most of the day being lazy with the cats.

Jeff rallied us at 6:00 for dinner and a little surprise couch shopping. (Although I love our current couch, it has been ripped up by long-gone cats, the cushion seams are busted, and it smells like a lifetime devoted to wet dogs and kids who vomit.)

We went with this because a red couch seems like a good idea.

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Afterwards, we celebrated by eating shaved ice because I think eating shaved ice after buying a couch is a thing.

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Friday worked out.

March 18th, 2016 · 10 Comments · Daily

Today I learned that there is nothing wrong with the occasional kolache. (Yesterday at this time I didn’t know what a kolache was. It’s so important to keep learning.) For lunch, I enjoyed an egg and cheese kolache and a spinach and mushroom kolache and now I want to try to make sweet potato pecan kolaches and blackberry apple kolaches and blueberry peach kolaches. (Every time I type the word kolache my computer burps up a red underline to tell me that I’m dreaming.)

I finished my Norrland hat and I’m super proud of it.

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(Both colors of yarn have silver woven in, so the hat is super sparkly. There is a slight chance of snow on Sunday.)

Finally, I made another shirt because I can’t seem to stop making shirts.

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My freelance project should be here in two weeks. Can you tell that I turn into a nervous ball of creative energy when I’m waiting for a project? It’s not pleasant, but it’s certainly productive.

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It’s late and I have no secrets!

March 17th, 2016 · 7 Comments · Daily

You guys: This Lent thing. Do you know what I’m saying?

I was just in BED because my allergies (they really ARE allergies) are making me cranky and then I was like, “Well, hell. NaBloPoLenta!” So here I am. Back downstairs. In my pajamas with a weird honey pumpkin masque all over my face. (I’m saying masque instead of mask only because I’m very fancy.)

Meredith had her braces removed today and her teeth look amazing and you’re just going to have to take my word for it because she no longer wants to be exploited at Fluid Pudding.

Harper had her parent/teacher conference this evening and it went really well and I would post her grades, but she no longer wants to be exploited at Fluid Pudding.

Unless I start going on adventures soon, this is going to turn into (even more of) a cat and dog blog.

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Tempe dropped by this afternoon for some hard core t-shirt making, some perfectly ripe avocado cheddar sandwich eating, and some friendly diagnostic services. Because of her knowledge and connections I am now convinced that I have small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, which is called SIBO by the cool kids who proliferate bacteria faster than you can type the phrase “rhythm nation bacteria proliferation.”

Do you ever do the thing where you’re like, “Maybe my gallbladder is bad!” and then “Maybe I’m having phantom appendix pain!” and then “Could my one remaining ovary be working its way toward the center making me sort of like a three-legged dog?” Confession: That’s what I’ve been doing since December which is why I’m ALSO being all “YOGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

It’s 9:33 at night. Harper and Jeff are trying to catch a bug. Meredith is searching for a permission slip that’s due tomorrow. The dogs think they need corn chips. The cats are resting so they can go to Crazy Town at approximately 3am.

I hope your Thursday was a good one. Mine was a good one.

Do I need a shirt that says Swanky?

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