Our snowman was stabbed by neighborhood thugs!

It has been entirely too long since I’ve checked in.

Our modem exploded, you see, and because AT&T doesn’t really give us many options, we had to order The Same Exact Modem, and it won’t arrive until later this week.

As a result of this madness, our internet connection is embarrassingly slow. Uploads time out before they can, well, upload. I’ve actually had to take a flash drive (jump drive? flash dance?) and my pocket PC to the Dairy Queen parking lot to upload videos (Christmahanukwanzaakah is upon us—more on that Thursday) by stealing an eggnog-shake flavored batch of free wifi.

Worst of all, for the first time in what seems like decades, I have stories to share! Stories about snowmen and violence! Stories about how I’m actually working out again! Explanations of the momspotting hashtag you keep seeing on Twitter! I’ve got chicken and dumplings in my crock pot right now!

Oh, Internet friends. I wish my house was super big and omnipotent and that you could just step out of your place and into mine and make yourself comfortable as I prepare pizza or macaroni or something and we can actually create a dialogue instead of doing this thing we do where I punch words out with my fingers and you either do the same, or else you don’t. Jeff always tells the girls that slow and steady wins the race. It will take nearly three minutes for this very paragraph to save. Fly like an eagle, Steve Miller.

Until my modem arrives, please know that my kids are trying to build the perfect tightrope, I’m pouring cookie ingredients into decorative jars, and Jeff is compiling his Best of 2009 CD as well as his Best of the Decade CD. I really should give some of his compilations to you. They’re very good.

I’m listening to this song quite a bit these days:

Don’t forget: I have two giveaways going on right now.

One has something to do with Kisses and a $100 Visa gift card.

The other? A fancy pants Viliv S5.

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15 thoughts on “Our snowman was stabbed by neighborhood thugs!”

  1. If I give you my address, can I get a copy of those CDs? I have a feeling they’ll be vastly superior to my “songs that got stuck in my head this year because the radio wouldn’t stop playing Lady Gaga” CDs. :)

    Sorry to hear about your modem. Lame.

  2. look friend, this is just too much. I have so many questions: a recipe for this chicken and dumplings nonsense? Some ways you have kept yourself motivated to workout? How DOES that eggnog shake taste because it sounds vile?
    I just can’t handle this, darn you AT&T, darn you to heck.

  3. Violence was perpetrated against your snowperson? EGADS! The question now is, do MC and Harper refuse to attend your neighborhood block parties because your ‘hood is full of snowman-stabbing thugs, or did thugs stab your snowman because MC and Harper refuse to attend the block parties? Has your homeowner’s association intimated that a little extra money in that annual dues envelope could prevent things like this from happening? Would you be willing to wear a wire to the next Neighborhood Watch meeting? (Sometimes I like to pretend I work for the FBI.)

  4. I, too, would like the chicken and dumplings recipe. Especially if it just requires throwing things in and no parboiling or roasting prior to crock pot engagement.

    The nearest Dairy Queen is 23 miles away (thanks, MapQuest!), and they don’t offer wifi, but I still want to go there right now.

  5. Sorry about the modem, I had mine stolen out of my old apartment the day I moved so I know what it’s like to be modemless.

    Yum on the chicken and dumplings! Do chocolate peppermint martinis go with such a dinner? Ok, maybe for dessert. :)

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