So, Thursday evening found us Jeffless and without kitty litter. (Jeff was in New York. The litter was doing what litter tends to do, which is Clumping.)
After calling four different stores, we (meaning I) finally found a place that carries our (meaning My) favorite litter, and that litter is called Scoop Away!
Pet Store Lady at Register (P-SLAR): Ah ha! Did you just call here about Scoop Away!?
Me: That was me! I couldn’t remember where I bought it last time, and I didn’t want to settle for Tidy Cats.
P-SLAR: You should NEVER settle for Tidy Cats! Scoop Away! is the only litter I use. I HAVE SIX CATS!!!
Me: I have only two cats, but you’re totally preaching to the choir. We’ve tried just about every brand out there, and Scoop Away! is the only thing that really clumps and—
P-SLAR: AND DOESN’T TASTE LIKE PISS AND PERFUME!
P-SLAR: If you’ve tried everything out there, you know exactly what I’m talking about!
Okay, people. I know she probably meant to say “doesn’t SMELL like piss and perfume,” but the fact remains that I’m 40 years old (see how I’m throwing that around now?!) and I really have no idea what contaminated litter tastes like. And I realize that I will probably die NOT knowing what it tastes like (my best guess really would have been Piss and Perfume), but that doesn’t change the notion that there are SO many things of which I have absolutely zero knowledge! I really need to start attacking with a bit more energy, because what if I die before I realize an undiscovered passion?! (Feta cheese and chocolate chips stirred together? Surprisingly good! Also, I’m a big fan of the Hooey Stick! Knowledge is Power!)
Goal For the Day: Say No when Yes feels like too much of a compromise, and say Yes when it’s more adventuresome than No!
Even Better Goal for the Day: Pulled Smoked Pork Sliders!
8 thoughts on “I’ll kick your can!”
Am I on a roll or what with this first commenting business. It may have something to do with being on the other side of the world I guess. I had no idea that Americans ate cat litter. One learns something new everyday. :)
Could she have meant the air tastes like piss and perfume? (and here i go sounding like i’m in cahoots with P-SLAR) (i really just wanted to say ‘cahoots’ there) I’ve experienced a smell being so strong you can taste it. (cahoots) Let’s hope she’s not actually tasting those litter box morsels.
Also, if it was a verbal faux pas on her part, it probably hit her just after you left the store. “Did I just say TASTE like piss and perfume?!! Ah, that lady thinks I’m completely bonkers.” Too bad for her you’re a blogger. :-)
Props to the store clerk using the word ‘piss’ during a conversation with a customer. And don’t knock Eau d’ammonia.
I kept thinking of PFLAG the whole time I read that story. What was the name of that movie where they kept saying PFLAG? Winona Ryder was in it.
Since my morning could do with a little more drama, I choose to imagine that following an argument, Jeff grabbed the kitty litter, stood in the open front doorway, and yelled, ‘I’m leaving!’, then stormed out and slammed the door behind him. Cue the string music. Close-up of your furrowed brow. Detergent commercial.
‘Sir,’ I fell off my yoga ball from laughing.
FP: Pulled pork sliders? Yumm!!
The city-girl daughter has one very LARGE (18 pounds, I think) cat so she uses Arm & Hammer multi cat litter. You should give it a shot. It will have guests doubting you own a cat.
Hi, first time I’m on your blog, and I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying over the cat litter post. My hubs is over there trying to work on his laptop and I’m over here silent laughing and crying, which probably looks a heckuva lot more like crying. And I’m trying not to say “piss and perfume” out loud because then he’ll probably just commit me.
So thanks for the chuckles. Seriously. Been a while since I laughed this hard over something.
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