Dorothy Parker led a horticulture…

When Meredith takes classes at the middle school, more often than not she comes home with a new joke. This is what happened in the car on the way home from school last Thursday.

MC1

MC2

MC3

Immediately, the gears in Harper’s brain began to smoke. She would not be outdone.

HR1

HR2

HR3

Me: Okay. No.

Harper: Wasn’t that funny?

Me: Actually, I thought it was very funny. But for the wrong reasons. We can’t use Whore. Can you come up with a different ending?

Harper: TORSE!!!!

Me: Yes! Torse!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Meredith: What’s a whore?

Me: WHO WANTS A FROSTY FROM WENDY’S?! Because I do!!!

Tossing Hats into Rings and Whispering “NaBloPoMo.”

Scary Selena Gomez and Rose Princess

So, yeah. We did the Halloween thing. Meredith was Scary Selena Gomez, and Harper was Rose Princess.

Pumpkin Mosaic

I don’t really get into Halloween, although I try my best to put on a good show, what with the “Ooh! You look so spooooky!” and the “What a beyooootiful princess!!!” schlock that I tend to puke up every time someone knocks on my door. (I really do get into the pumpkin carving thing. With that said, I believe I pulled a muscle in my back carving the Hello Kitty pumpkin for Meredith. I’m 147 years old.)

Spooky Pumpkin Guy!

There was a spooky pumpkin guy at the school’s Trunk or Treat on Friday, and his mouth looks like Jeff’s mouth. So, although Jeff swears he was working late and could not be at the Trunk or Treat, I like to pretend that he really was there—all goofified in a pumpkin head and staying silent to up his spooky cred. (Sometimes I type poetry by accident. I’m sure Allen Ginsberg knows what I’m talking about.) (Note: Goofified? You won’t find it in the dictionary. And that’s a shame.)

Ghost Socks!

I finished my ghost socks just in time for Halloween, and then I forgot to wear them. I believe Teddy Roosevelt once said that Election Day is a good day for ghost socks. (Oh! Before you think I got all crazy talented with the ghost socks, please know that the dyer actually dyed the yarn so that if you knit at seven stitches per inch, the ghosts appear. That’s all you have to do. Genius.)

To keep up with tradition, I’m thinking of posting every day this month. I already know that I’m going to have five days of trickiness around Thanksgiving, so I’m not going to officially sign on for NaBloPoMo. Let’s see what happens.
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My roommate once told me I was Very Wide. Follow this link to read the story, and you could win $150! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>