P-Funk All Stars Perform The Anxious Puppy Blues

I’m moving back to Nashville.

(I’m not really moving back to Nashville.)

As you know, we spent a few days in Nashville last week. The entire trip lasted less than 60 hours from start to finish, which wasn’t nearly enough for me. I often wonder how my life would be different had we stayed in Nashville after getting married in 2001. I can’t help but think we would be struggling a bit more. AND, because I’m a clever blend of “The world revolves around me” and “Every time a butterfly flaps its wings, it changes the course of something else” I wonder if Nashville would still be Nashville without us there. I love Nashville just the way it is, so perhaps leaving it was the best decision. If you love something set it free or time keeps on ticking into the future or step off the crack, Jack and make a new plan, Stan.

Little Kids in a Big Chair

A day will soon come when my kids no longer want to sit in a gigantic rocking chair. During our trip to Nashville, they sat in it twice and posed for photos. Together. Last night Meredith pulled me aside and asked if she could help pick out her summer clothes this year. The basic short/t-shirt combinations that I tend to buy in bulk at Target are no longer her style. Also, late last week she told me that I shouldn’t be wearing black shoes with light jeans. “Maybe a different pair of black shoes would work, but those don’t look that good. No offense.” Her Smiling in a Big Rocking Chair days are numbered.

The Pfunky Griddle

One of our favorite meals in Nashville was breakfast at The Pfunky Griddle. Each table had a griddle built in, and if you go for the all you can eat pancake breakfast, the griddle is turned on and the staff continues to deliver wheat and white batter to the table. (Everyone gets to choose one topping. Harper went with M&M’s. Meredith went for chocolate chips. Jeff? Blueberries. Me? Banana slices, plus a side of vegetarian sausage. I mixed it all together and made banana/sausage pancakes. Not bad.)

Pfunky Griddle All Stars

Did you notice that Meredith is wearing a hoodie in that photo? I’m telling you, the child is living on the edge these days.

While we were gone, we boarded the puppies at their vet office. When I called on Wednesday, I was told that Henry was a bit of a “Nervous Nellie” at first, but he was now doing well with eating and playing. When I called on Thursday, I was told that both dogs were “doing great” and playing/eating/having a great time. When we arrived to pick them up on Friday, the woman in charge of the boarding facility came out and told us that Henry had a horrible experience during his stay. They couldn’t get him in and out of his crate very well, they had to get the help of one of the veterinarians because he was starting to get aggressive, he never pooped, and on and on until I interrupted and said, “Every time I called to check on the dogs, I was told that they were doing really well. Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?”

Vet Tech: Well, I guess it depends on who you talked to. They may not have been familiar with the situation.

Me: They may not have been familiar, yet they gave me a glowing report. That bothers me.

Vet Tech: Well, the next time you board, you could consider having a sedative prescribed for Henry so he deals with the situation a bit better.

Me: Had I known he was going nuts, I could have asked for him to be given something during THIS visit. Again, it really bothers me that I wasn’t told what was going on.

Vet Tech: There are a lot of big dogs here right now.

Me: I sometimes dream about taking a nap in a bathtub filled with scrambled eggs. That doesn’t change the fact that something could have been done to help my dog.

When we got Henry home, he pooped for three hours (I’m exaggerating. Slightly.), and then slept for nearly twelve hours. I don’t believe we’ll board him again. (The thing that bugs me? I really like everyone at the vet office. And I know their job is hard. And I know that it’s a busy time of year. And I know, or at least I hope that everyone was doing their best. Still, I hate that Henry was terrified for sixty straight hours.)


In my mind, this truck is filled with the pink slime everyone seems to be talking about. Also, it could be filled with a scrambled egg type of substance that stays at ninety nine degrees indefinitely. For my bathtub. Because I’m sleepy.

(Heads Up: Yesterday I renewed Fluid Pudding for two more years, so you’ve got me until I’m almost 44, if not longer. Cheers to us.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

24 thoughts on “P-Funk All Stars Perform The Anxious Puppy Blues”

  1. That kind of customer service makes me INSANE. It’s my dog. You can tell me a bunch of bullshit about my phone service and I’ll be peeved but I won’t want to burn your office down. Lying to me about the living things in my care? Hold right here, I have to go out and get matches. Did they do anything else for him like sit with him while he ate? Try him in a double crate with his sibling? Give him some perfectly herbal and fine rescue remedy? Phooey.

  2. What a bummer about poor Henry! I don’t know where you live, but try checking out if there are any nearby “doggie daycare” places that offer boarding. We use a place called “The Barker Lounge” (yes, really, that’s what it’s called! http://www.thebarkerlounge.com/), and sometimes it seems our dog can’t wait for us to go out of town so he can stay there. Plus, you could do a couple of test runs by having Henry hang out there during the day before leaving him overnight.

  3. Congratulations on extending FP!!

    I’m sorry about the boarding. We had a similar experience when we boarded our dog the first time. It was a traditional kennel – not one of those “your dogs are your kids” kind of places. We called several times and they said she was fine – but when we came home a week later she was VISIBLY skinnier and they told us that she hadn’t eaten “well”. OMG. The next time we drove 4.5 hours one way to leave her with my parents. Eventually we found a place that was simply a better “fit” for Portia. It was called “Silver Dog Bed & Biscuit”. It cost a fortune -but she was always happy to go in the door when we drove up – and she ate and was well. Now she goes to Auntie Ruth’s Furry Friends. It also costs a fortune. They know her – she likes it – she has “friends”. However – I am now at the point in my life where I feel that if you choose to have a dog, then you need to treat that dog the way you want to be treated (within reason) and like you I will not subject her to something that is upsetting to her.

    Lots of great at-home pet sitting options too.

    Those pancakes look like so much fun!!!

  4. I’ve never had good experiences boarding dogs at the vet. Once I found a really good kennel, everybody was much happier. I think it makes a particular difference if you have big dogs! (We had two big labs.)

  5. Aw, poor Henry! I’m sure he was happy to see you.

    And now I shall consume 2 pudding cups, in honor of you and your internet presence.

  6. The first time we boarded Hooper, Chris and I cried when we left him. Hooper didn’t eat hardly at all, but other then that he got glowing reports. He slept for days. Now when we leave he at least eats.

    Some where there is picture of me and Chris in giant rocker like that. They had one at the 72oz steak place in Amarillo (no neither of us ate a 72 oz steak).

  7. Aw, poor Henry! That story just makes me mad. Good for you for standing up to the vet. Busy or not, it’s their job. When possible, we have someone stay with our dog at our house, and I haven’t boarded him for longer than 2 nights. This spring break, our dog sitter isn’t available for the full time, so we’re having her take him to the kennel for the last two nights, whew. I worry the whole time, though.

    Also, yes, CHEERS! to two more years of FP.

  8. We;ve left our dogs at Kennelwood. We call every day and get very VERY specific reports of every meal they ate, what meal was prepared as an alternative, how they didn’t eat that, how they seems to prefer mashed potatoes, how the vet was called to double check if potatoes were on the diet, etc. Someone is there every minute in case of fire after the unfortunate incident.
    And if you are willing to pay trought the nose, there is no kennel. Dogs get a room.

  9. I can identify with the line you wrote which I like so much “AND, because I’m a clever blend of “The world revolves around me” and “Every time a butterfly flaps its wings, it changes the course of something else”

    Glad you had a good time in Nashville. A city I hope to visit someday. And I hope the The Pfunky Griddle is still there. Reminds of the grills at Japanese and Korean restaurants.

    I am so sorry Henry was so scared. I would have reacted the same way.

    Yay for renewing!

  10. So sorry about your dog. What bummer! Yes, they are busy, and so on, but still; you were *paying* them to look after the well-being of your pet. And if your dog was to the point of needing a sedative, how about someone being proactive and contacting you to ask about that?? Doesn’t seem like it should be that hard. Urgh.

    Also, so wish I had known about the Pfunky Griddle when we visited Nashville! I love eating at places where it’s as much about the dining experience as it is about the food. Looks like a fun place!

  11. Ok, get ready for an e-mail on why you should NEVER board your pets at a vet… feel free to share it with your readers. Once I tell you why… you’ll go “oooh, yeah… why didn’t I think of that!”

  12. OH DUDE. How I wish you (and your dogs) lived in my town. We have the BEST dog place — Rascal boards there, has done training there (SUPER positive, rewards-based training), and goes to doggy daycare there once every two weeks and/or whenever we have service people coming to the house for any extended period of time. He loves it there more than home, I think. So I hope you can find a place like that. Or a good pet sitter.

    Also, am now pissed that my brother has never taken me to this pancake place when I’ve visited him. It’s all Loveless Cafe, all the time up in there. Hmph.

  13. I don’t board here in St. Louis because my folks live here and their only grandchild is 31. But I feel your pain; I have so many bad boarding stories. This is weird, I know, but if you have to leave town and no-one can give you a, “OMG, this place is amazing.” recommendation I could, well I could something. I mean if Oscar got along with them, they could come stay with me or I could go over morning and evening and take them out for play time. I know, weird. But (quick story) my last dog had kennel fright really bad. So most places I took him told me he wasn’t ever out of the kennel and he tried to bite everyone – until I found a place that had larger rooms (and then a place with indoor/outdoor runs). So yeah, I get it.

  14. Poor Henry and poor you! :( The only person that I would trust to board our dog is his foster mom, who runs a petsitting service. He is too quirky for me to trust him with anyone else.

  15. First of all – thank you for renewing for two more years — hooray!

    Second — Oh, hell to the no cubed to infinity. I have cats, and I use a cat sitter when I’m away — which is semi-frequently for 3 – 5 days per year and once for a couple of weeks. She and her staff text me daily to tell me about how the babies are, she plays with them, when she comes over when I’m about to leave to give any last minute instructions they both come down to greet her (not so much with guests that they don’t know). And I can always call or text with questions, and she gets back to me within the hour. I also have a written log when I get home about who was playful and what they played with, what they ate while the sitter was there for her half hour, etc. I just feel sick at how your baby dog was treated. I agree with everyone else — find a pet-sitter that will work with your pets and either come to your house or take care of them in their facility as you would. I know it’s more difficult with dogs, but it’s such complete crap that your vet said they were busy and had lots of large dogs. Good lord — really? No. Not okay. Perhaps they shouldn’t board animals if they can’t care for them properly.

  16. We had a similar experience with our cats boarding at the Vet. We came back to a cat who’d licked all the fur on his belly off from stress. “but he had a marvellous time”. Um – no?! My cat is now on Prozac (from a different vet). We only put them in if we really need to, now…. we get friends to watch them otherwise. Sadly we are in the boonies so have few cattery options. Sadder still, the best cattery we ever found is too far from our current house, but if anyone needs a recommendation near Heathrow, UK, they were da bomb. I’d use them again in a heartbeat, as we were heartbroken when we moved too far away to use them.

  17. it’s too hot in Nashville in the summer. I could never move there. But I’d love to visit there more.

    When I was younger we always had a trusted neighbour come over and keep an eye on our dog–feed him, walk him, play with him a couple of times a day–and it was very reasonable (payment was a plate of cookies and probably to watch their cat/dog when they went away)–it worked. It’s very sad that your vet’s office didn’t take care of Henry very well…

  18. Poor ‘Enry! Might I recommend that next time you use that mutual friend of ours? The one who dog sits at her home and the dogs are part of their family and routine and have the run of her house and immense yard?

  19. Wow, you are 42? NO!

    Seriously. NO!

    And to think I was filled with envy at your youth. Well, OK, you are still younger than I am.

    I am curious about Nashville–about what is so wonderful about it…Now I have to go there and see for myself.

    I am so sorry about Henry. I am not a super dog-coddler. I remember a dog’s brain is kind of not so good at retaining information and that dogs don’t have expectations about how their lives are going to go and so I don’t project human thoughts on them–but that is seriously a tale of a miserable dog! I would be upset.

  20. I am fiarly certain I know where you boarded the pups. And, if that is the case, we use the vet there (LOVE her), but would never use the kennel. Try Westinn – they are amazing. There is one on Weldon Springs Road and one in Wentzville (we prefer Wentzville, but mainly due to location/directionality of our travel). They are so good with our gigantic Doberman. :o)

Comments are closed.