I probably think this song is about me…

Do you remember back in December when Harper had that weird fever thing that ended up being an unusual strep strain?

She had the weird fever thing again last week. No other symptoms, just a fever that went as high as 103.6. Sadly, the only time the doctor could get us in was thirty minutes after Harper performed a fashion show for me—complete with a black velvet dress and black eyeshadow. (I let her keep the dress on for the appointment, but made her spend the entire twenty minute drive scrubbing her eyelids with makeup remover pads.) The verdict? “I think it’s a sinus infection.”

By the way, stay away from the internet when you’re searching out information on high fevers with no other symptoms.

Today I’m at a bit of a standstill with my latest freelance project, so I’m meeting my mom for lunch, getting a haircut, and thinking about cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen for Meredith’s sleepover on Friday. (Harp is attending her very first sleepover that evening, so we’re letting Meredith have a friend over for the night. Sadly, because of the weird timing, we’ll be missing one of my favorite church services of the year. It’s a quiet service. A powerful service. It’s the service that killed me dead two years ago when the flaming wick from the candle lighter’s big golden candle lighting tool thinger dinger broke off and fell onto the aisle carpeting—forcing the candle lighter to do a hilarious little dance to extinguish the flame. I could barely hold myself together, and then I started thinking about the time I watched a fly die in church and the time my thumb busted open and started squirting blood in church, and I can barely type right now because the tears are starting to roll.)

Sunday is Easter. Last Easter was my very worst Easter ever.

I just realized that I’m spending this entire post linking to myself. (Please know that right before I begin each new paragraph, I smile at myself in a mirror for twenty seconds. Well, hello there, Lady! Hi, Lady! Lady! You’re my night in shining armor, and I love you.)

Four years ago I wrote backwards on my face with eyeliner for Easter, and then I almost got sued. To keep with my me! Me! ME! theme, here you go.

Yes. The paper towels are off of the holder. Please know that we replaced that ridiculous paper towel holder after finally admitting that unscrewing the top to replace the roll was just too much of an ordeal for us. What a living hell that thing was.

Incidentally, the very eyeliner I used to write on my face fell into the toilet yesterday morning. Gone forever. (As much as I love my eye doctor, I don’t want to risk needing to see him because I’ve been blinded by makeup that may or may not have been contaminated by human waste.) ((And, yes. I don’t use eyeliner very often. After having it for more than four years, it was probably time for that thing to go. I know makeup tends to last longer than raw chicken, but I can’t really keep any of it straight.))

Hey! I finished two knitting projects. Let’s talk about them next time.

‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

12 thoughts on “I probably think this song is about me…”

  1. Once in a church in the mountains, a hummingbird flew in the window and became exhausted, landing on the shoulder of the woman in front of us. My mother rescued it and fed it lemonade in the kitchen before releasing it.

    My father (a minister) once found a large black snake in the pulpit of the tiny country church he was at – during the service. He marched it down the aisle and threw it out the front door.

    I have MANY funny church stories….

  2. But why did you almost get sued for writing Happy Easter on your face?? That doesn’t seem proprietary?

  3. Happy Easter moustache to you!

    I don’t have any interesting associations with Easter at all. I hate cadbury cream eggs and peeps, but I do love a good chocolate bunny. I feel like we should do something memorable this Easter because it is never too late to have an interesting one.

  4. you’re eyeliner knew that it was at the end of it’s life & it jumped. I actually have an unopened eyeliner from about 15 years ago in my bag. I refuse to throw it out – it’s technically new even though it OLD.

  5. Wow, I don’t really have any interesting church stories! The most exciting thing that ever happened to me was when I was in gradeschool and my classmate David always passed out from the incense. (He passed out once while being a server.)

  6. I hope Harper stays fever free for good, or at least for a long time. I have to stay away from internet searches of symptoms, too.

    Sometimes I also think that song is about me.

  7. It’s not really a holiday until you write backwards on your face. (I mean ACTUAL YOU. I’m not just speaking in second person, here.)

    My kids get weird random fevers all the time, with no other symptoms, that eventually go away. And now I’m all worried that those were strep and sinus infections! For which I did not take them to the doctor! (Did I ever tell the story about how my daughter walked around for a day and a half with a broken collarbone before we realized something was up and took her to the ER? Yeesh.)

  8. A few years ago I was teaching the little little ones (3-4 yrs) at church and the week after Easter one of the moms came to tell me that her boy had reported on his lesson by saying in a creepy low voice: “Sister Marianne says we’re all gonna diiiiiiiiieeeeee.” He’s the youngest of a passel of boys and she said that he seemed really proud to be able to outdo and shock them all. She did say that he went on and admitted “But then she said that Jesus got resurrecteded, so it’s ok.”


  9. After the children’s sermon at church when I was about 5, the minister’s son ran up the aisle and kissed me, and I screamed…much to the horror and dismay of my mother. This particular minister went on to become the minister at your church, until he retired, I believe (I think I’m remembering you go to Parkway UCC, correct?)

    Also, here is a link to a Minnesota friend’s blog that made me think of you, and you may want to contribute something knitted: http://www.women.com/knitting-lady-parts-to-save-more-than-half-the-world/

    Happy Easter!!

  10. Why you ever worry about not finding material for NoMoBlahPo is beyond me.

    Fever-free thoughts heading her way from here too :-)

  11. I have never understood upright paper towel holders. Hang that thing! When did counter space stop being precious, y’all???

Comments are closed.