At approximately 8:30 in the morning on Friday, July 13th, I ended a 42 year run of being able to say, “No! I’ve never been stung by a hornet!” I was outside watering my tomatoes and roses and when I went to return the hose to its rightful place, I felt something on my left hand. When I looked down, THERE WAS A HORNET SITTING THERE LOOKING AT ME IN ALL CAPS!!! I did what anyone who is not experienced with venomous insects would do. I freaked out, the bee inserted his/her stinger halfway between my thumb and wrist, and I screamed. (I can’t remember the last time I screamed. Wait. Yes I do. It was four years ago when this happened in the parking lot at Starbucks.) I’ve been through an appendectomy, two c-sections, oral surgery during which six teeth were removed, a tattoo, a nose piercing, and several car accidents and break-ups. Nothing compares to The Sting of The Hornet. Let’s shorten the story. I took a bunch of pills, and I iced the sting all day. Every time the ice bag would melt, the pain returned.
At 7:30 on Friday night, I went to the urgent care shoebox hospital place, where the doctor: 1. Yelled at me for waiting so long to come in. 2. Was all concerned about the black spots around the sting until I laughed and said, “Oh! Those are Oreo crumbs!” and brushed them away. 3. Prescribed a steroid, an antihistamine, Naproxen, and VICODIN. (I threw away the Vicodin prescription, because I’m afraid I might like Vicodin a little too much.) On Friday night, I slept with a huge ice pack on my hand. By Saturday morning, the pain was gone.
SO, we packed up the car and drove to the mountains.
This is the view from our cabin. The week is going to be perfect for many reasons, including the fact that we found someone to watch our house and our dogs. All is well here, and all is well back home. This means I can eat my cereal (with almond milk!) on the front porch with a ripped-up Vicodin prescription and absolutely no need for Xanax.
This morning I woke up at 4:45 and heard something walking around on our porch. I looked out the window, but I didn’t see anything. I read in bed for a bit (Catching Fire!), and about every 15 minutes or so, I heard the noise. When Jeff got up at 7:00, he found a dead and mangled mouse right outside our front door. I know this is probably the work of a cat or a raccoon (or hopefully, a sweet baby bear!), but my mind wants to believe that we’re going to have our own Boo Radley during our stay in the mountains. Please keep your fingers crossed that tomorrow will find us holding some fresh hand-carved wooden dolls at 7:00 in the morning. (I’ve pinned a note to the rocking chair that says, “We prefer craftiness to carnage.” Here’s hoping Boo is able to read and respect.)
Because Kris Allen told me to live like we’re dying, this morning I went to a spinnery, spun some wool on a Sidekick, and purchased eight ounces of merino/tussah.
17 thoughts on “Smoky Mountain Puddings!”
Them there mountains sure do look purty. What a view!
I kind of wanted a picture of the sting, but that seems kind of weird I guess. Glad it’s all better – have a lovely vacation!
Have a great time. Can’t wait to see more pictures.
Wait — Oreos are vegan?
I hope you have a phenomenal, wonderful, amazing, relaxing, lovely, perfect vacation. And I’m only a teeny bit jealous.
hornets are the minions of Satan.
Good call on the Vicodin – still trying to figure that one out.
Tell the kitty I said “Hey, Boo.”
Travel safely, Puddings!
Where in the Smokies are you? I live pretty close, and go there many summers.
I LOVE number 2. The number 2 in your list, not the euphemism number 2. Gross.
I also want to see a picture of your hornet sting. [wink]
Sorry my comment was so weird.
My neighbor’s cat’s name is Boo Radley. Truly.
wishing you a wonderful and hornetless (and all things that bite/sting) vacation. glad your hand is on the mend.
You’re getting dangerously close to my neck of the woods. Enjoy the mountains, the view, the fresh air and southern charm!
YOU THREW AWAY A SCRIPT FOR VICODIN?????? weeping, weeping. I need to find a freakin hornet and jab myself with it… oh, and I bought two pairs of those Danskos (black and brown)… I was so distraught by this blog post, it put me over the edge
FYI–for future reference (and hopefully you’ll never have to use this information) to get the stinging out of a bee sting, take baking soda and cold water (about a tsp of each). Make a paste. Slather the paste on the sting immediately. Feel relief.
This works SO well (unfortunately, I know from experience) and makes you feel liveable again. Works on a multitude of types of stings. I have no idea why. If the stinging remains, reapply and then use some ice.
BTW–glad the sting eventually stopped stinging!
Have another oreo dunked in some almond milk for me!
(Only 8-1/2 wks to go for me!)
I have relatives that go to the Smokey’s all the time and love it. I’ve been once on All State Baptist Choir (i know) trip. We went to the Dixie Stampede and ate our food with our hands!
Enjoy your trip!
I discovered after my broken ankle that I liked Vicodin. Good thing I’m too law abiding to do anything illegal for it because it made everything okay all the time.
“When Jeff got up at 7:00, he found a dead and mangled mouse right outside our front door.” I first read that as a “dead and mangled MOOSE,” which was really funny but made no sense with the suspicion of a cat or raccoon in the next sentence.
Have a great vacation!
Like Angela I read it as MOOSE, and was freaking out that you had some sort of bear leaving large dead animals on your porch. Or you have experienced some gigantic cats and racoons in your time, to bring you such large prey.
Have a fantabulous time! Also, are you liking the Hunger Games series?!
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