You can call me Sweetheart.

Oh! That’s right! Fluid Pudding exists!

It appears that Thanksgiving has come and gone. I was all bitchy and sad on Thanksgiving day because the people with whom I’ve spent the past 42 Thanksgivings were in a cabin in Tennessee, and we didn’t join them. And I thought I would be okay with not going, but then Thanksgiving came. We spent the day with Jeff’s parents and his brother’s family and that was nothing but nice, but the fact remained that I was feeling on edge—as if something wasn’t quite right.

(Meanwhile, speaking of something being not quite right, out in Tennessee, someone tried to break into my parents’ cabin at three in the morning on their second night there, and someone actually DID break in on Saturday, and although the trespassers didn’t remove anything, they used the hot tub and plugged in the Christmas tree, and it definitely was NOT a housekeeping courtesy, so the family’s trip was cut short by a night due to the creepiness factor. Bummer. Even more of a bummer is the fact that the cabin rental place has not offered to reimburse them for the night that they lost. Maybe I’m expecting too much.)

I have an important announcement to make. I went to Old Navy today (it’s 40% off day if you have an Old Navy card) and, all-caps please, I FOUND SOME JEANS THAT FIT AND I DON’T DESPISE THEM! According to the Old Navy classification system, I am not a Diva, nor am I a Rockstar or a Flirt. I am a Sweetheart. And I think that has something to do with the shape of my butt, but I really don’t want to think about it much more than I need to. Much more than to which I think I need? I am a SWEETHEART.

Because of my newfound status as Sweetheart coupled with the fact that I didn’t shed even one tear in the dressing room, I celebrated the 40% discount by piling my cart with TWO pairs of Sweetheart jeans—one skinny and one boot cut. (They were only $18 after the discount!) And then I added pajamas for the girls’ Christmas Eve. (I give them new pajamas each year on Christmas Eve so they aren’t wearing ripped t-shirts in the next morning’s Christmas photos. Look at me manipulating the situation to make us look like we’ve got it together!) I finished up by throwing in a few shirts for the girls and moseying over to the checkout line (which was already VERY long at 10:00) where it was discovered that despite what I believe, I don’t actually HAVE an Old Navy Card. So, I held up the line by applying for one and I apologized over and over (and over, because being annoyingly polite is both my best and worst habit), and then I got an EXTRA 10% off because of my New Cardholder (Sweetheart) status. When I threw my (Sweetheart) fist to the sky and demanded that the checkout girl have a great day, she mentioned that she kicked off the day with a Frappuccino from next door, and any day that starts with a Frappuccino is always a great day. I was completely jazzed about the fact that I didn’t cry in the dressing room and even MORE sparked that I scored such a good deal, so I did what any Sweetheart would do. I threw my bags into the car, walked to the coffee dump, and purchased a $5 gift card. I then walked that card back to Old Navy and gave it to my checkout girl. And she was thrilled, and I was thrilled, and this completely erased my experience from yesterday which involved me trying to shove my butt into a pair of Jennifer Lopez jeans while staring into the mirror and chanting, “Don’t be sad. Don’t be sad. Don’t be sad.”

Sweetheart Skinny Jeans. Victory! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

33 thoughts on “You can call me Sweetheart.”

  1. They look great! Congratulations on discovering yourself. I am still afraid to try any on . . . I have gone to Old Navy twice in the last week and been ever so tempted to make an attempt, but I just buy socks and clearance summer shirts instead.

  2. Those look lovely!

    We’ve known all along that you’re a Sweetheart. Just typing that sentence makes get start talking all googly.

  3. I love your way with words. Those jeans are quite snazzy. I think I have to get myself over to Old Navy.

    And I am so sorry about your parents cabin getting broken into. The hotel should refund them. That is awful.

  4. Nice lighting, SWEETHEART! (like the Christmas lights) And I, also, purchase new jammies for the kids so we appear to have it together. Fake it ’til you make it, right? Right. :)

  5. Seconding the refund – I think they should refund the whole stay – holy smokes!!
    Also – those jeans look fantastic. I am not ordinarily an Old Navy shopper, but maybe I wil check them out (also – $18!!!)
    Love the coffee story – how fun!

  6. Yay new jeans! I need new jeans, too. I hate jeans shopping.

    Also, you have now shared the parental secret about Christmas Eve pajamas that I did not know. Who knew it was a plot to get the kids in pj’s that didn’t look horrible in the pictures? I should have figured this out long ago, but I will say that the cats don’t care about my ripped t-shirt on Christmas morning & nobody else is around to see me before I have pants on, so there would be no reason to figure that out.

  7. Super Duper CUTE jeans! Good work! (I honestly cannot get around the crying in the dressing room … ) AND I just also bought PJs for my girls! A happy day. :)

  8. You are awesome!

    Sooo…just wondering. Were your parents actually IN the cabin when the creepers came in and used the hot tub and turned on the Christmas tree? Wow! Bold!

  9. Awesome – I just discovered today that I am also a Sweetheart at Old Navy, thanks to some lovely Camp Mighty swag. It’s very nice to not cry in the dressing room. Also, you inspire me with your impromptu gift to the checkout girl. We need more of that these days.

  10. Wow, you spent every Thanksgiving with your parents. And you liked it!

    I hope you will be unsad–even happy–soon!

  11. YaY! Those Jeans look amazing on you!!!! I also where Sweatheart skinny (love them with flats and boots) and Im digging the deal you got!

  12. Aw come ON. You were going to darn. We were going to be darning sisters. I darned my jeans on Monday and I thought of you and thought ‘thousands of miles away, on a different continent, Fluid Pudding is also darning’ and you weren’t. You were SHOPPING.

    This makes my whole life a lie.

  13. So you do sweetheart things in sweetheart jeans. I guess it is a good thing you don’t prefer the diva jeans or you would have had to buy a feather boa and give dirty looks to the people in line while you filled out the application for an old navy card. I forget what I am but I may have to go to the bathroom just to check (so I know what I should be doing today). I feel like it might say “glutton”. I’m sort of hoping for that because I made brownies.

  14. You definitely look sweet in those jeans. I might have to make a trip to Old Navy.
    I agree a refund is in order for your parents!

  15. Wow, are those the skinny jeans? I normally avoid skinny jeans because they conform to my whole leg – butt to ankle. However those just make your legs look miles long. (BTW, it is my firm belief that it should be against the law for your pants to be snug enough that I can see the outline of the lower half of your calf.)

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