I don’t believe I’ve ever typed the word Apocalypse before now! Apocalypse!!!

All it takes is for one person to say, “Tea is for Healing” and suddenly I’m drinking one and a half quarts of hot tea each and every day. (I’m not exaggerating.) Apparently, I need some healing. I’m cranky and a little stressed and my skin is all sucky and my stomach has been in knots. Although the tea is delicious, the whole Healing thing feels like a mug of crap, but at least I’m fake-healing with tea and not Crown Royal.

(Side note: I held a side plank in Pilates last Friday for the first time EVER. It had nothing to do with tea and everything to do with me refusing to be the only person in class who can’t hold a side plank. (Every time the instructor calls us into a side plank, I think of this dinosaur and how we’re more alike than different.))

The latest chapter in my tea obsession? This stuff. (I have Tempe to thank for this. She does RESEARCH.) Because I once again have the skin of a 14-year-old girl who doesn’t take hygiene seriously, Jeff and I found ourselves at Whole Foods last Friday to browse their Yogi teas and their meatless meats. The Skin Detox tea is supposed to clear me up and make me GLOW (like Edward in the sun, not that I have any idea what I’m talking about). ((This is the guy who develops the Yogi tea. I’m not sure we could hang out at a doughnut shop, but I think I can trust him with the whole tea thing.))

Right before I leave the house to pick the kids up from school, I brew a 16 ounce tumbler of the skin detox tea. I then take the tea bag and put it in a tiny cup for later. Before I go to bed at night, I wash my face (with Purpose cleansing wash because I’m not going to leave out any details here) and then I run the hottest water I can stand into the used tea bag before rubbing it all over my face. Sometimes the bag breaks and suddenly I’m Martin Sheen from Apocalypse Now and I’m frantically pushing old cardamom seeds and dandelion roots (and hibiscus flowers and rose petals et cetera!) into my pores and the hot water is dripping down into my mouth and I’m a disaster but I’m a disaster for the right reason: I’m trying to achieve The Glow. I’M HEALING.

(Kara made bread pudding last week, and you should go look at it because it’s BEAUTIFUL.)

I actually got a manicure last weekend before the mouse races. (I will NOT talk about the mouse races. In fact, I never again want my world to include the word Mouse anywhere near the word Race or else I may begin screaming the F word and sending out fake invitations for people to join me in my kitchen for a bit of accounting! It’s a long story that involves me being a little sensitive with a tendency to overreact!!! Where’s my tea?!?!) Anyway, I went with this color and I love it so much that I bought a bottle (50% off!) today. I don’t EVER get manicures and because of that, I tend to keep my hands below the table. Because of French Quarter for Your Thoughts, I hereby proclaim the remainder of March to be known as The Eighteen Days During Which I Gesticulate Flamboyantly!!! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

11 thoughts on “I don’t believe I’ve ever typed the word Apocalypse before now! Apocalypse!!!”

  1. Two words I can never spell without looking them up: apocalypse and halleluja. My world has no grey.

    Also: don’t knock fake-healing with Crown Royal if you haven’t tried it, yo. I’m more a Forty Creek gal myself, but I have faked-healed myself of EVERYTHING with that stuff. (Just ignore that half-empty/half-full bottle of Cipro on my bathroom counter. We’re not talking about that, either.)

  2. There’s so much information in this one post. I think I need a cup of tea to help process it all.

    (My husband brought me home tea from China that’s supposed to help with stress, sleep, and skin. It’s the best I’ve ever had, almost halfway gone, and was bought from a little hut. ((It may not even be tea.)) Thanks for giving me a backup.

  3. HEY! they sell that stuff at the salon near me for like $18. I had no idea how thoroughly I was being ripped off. Your nails look lovely.

  4. If the tea doesn’t work out to your satisfaction you might look into a green juice cleanse. I just cleared up a bad case of adult acne that has plagued me for the last year and a half using green juice. Search the internet and you should have no trouble finding information. Just let me say though, I think you’re beautiful :)

  5. Detox, huh?

    I love that color of nail polish. I just bought a new color yesterday. It’s called “pink chiff- on”.

    I’ve been using a scrub and a new facial cream and my face is getting much better.

  6. Congratulations on your side plank achievement. That’s a hard one. I’m not successful at it very often myself. Well now, maybe there’s a healing tea for laying on the couch like a big slug. Slug-be-gone. Wish I had some of that.

  7. Tea makes everything better. Always.

    Your nails are so beautiful, you really must go out in public and gesticulate a lot while that manicure lasts.

    About the mouse races: Thank you for not reporting details. I knew this would not be a bright spot in your week.

  8. Yogi teas are THE BEST. Seriously. THE. BEST. I’ve been drinking them for years and cannot believe I never looked on YouTube for more information, because now? OH. MY. GOD.

  9. I also love Yogi tea. I never drank the skin detox one though. (Can’t now–but after breastfeeding is done I will.)

    And THANK YOU for letting me see that video of the Yogi tea guy. Wow. I feel connected to my tea!

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