The perfume contains notes of pink pepper and suede flower. I know nothing about so many things.

Her: Can I help you find something?

Me: Please! Perfume gives me a migraine, and I’m trying to find the new Taylor Swift rollerball perfume for my daughter’s friend and all I see are the $45 bottles and I really can’t be in this area much longer.

Her: You walked right past it.

(She picks up a rollerball thing and hands it to me.)

Her: It smells very good. Lots of stars go heavy on floral and candy scents, but this has fruity notes. Almost like a grapefruit.

Me (really not doing well in the perfume aisle): Excellent! I’m sure Taylor Swift needs it to smell good, because I picture her walking around smelling like sour cream and onion dip!

Her (suddenly angry, and I’m not imagining it): Ma’am, the stars put a lot of effort into creating their scents. It’s not really a joke.

Me (thinking, for example, that even though *I* can’t/won’t wear dolman sleeves, other people think dolman sleeves are the GREATEST sleeves, and some people treat perfume like a dolman sleeve, and I clearly need to think this comparison through a bit more, but right now I’m feeling lightning behind my right eye): You’ve been very helpful. Sorry about that sour cream and onion thing.

This is what I’ve learned so far today, and it’s not even noon:
If you use a stoneware microwave egg maker, you really should clean it immediately after use.
My anxiety/crankiness skyrockets when I don’t have a freelance job.
The stars put a lot of effort into creating their scents.

If you have any opinions regarding Bullet Journals vs. Passion Planners and similar topics, I would love to hear those opinions. Most importantly, may your day include notes of white amber and Haitian vetiver. (You’re welcome.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

10 thoughts on “The perfume contains notes of pink pepper and suede flower. I know nothing about so many things.”

  1. I just had to laugh. What you said really was a joke – even if the young perfume monger did not see it that way. And bless her heart for really having a passion for her product!
    I’ll have to take a look at Taylor’s perfume – because I find her weirdly appealing.

  2. For whatever it might be worth – maybe nothing – sometimes I feel bad and apologize when someone else is a jerk. But sometimes that person is just a jerk and it has nothing to do with you. Also, I thought your joke was funny.

  3. The scent of stars is no joking matter.

    Actually, I had to force myself to think of celebrities every time I read “stars put a lot of effort into their scents” because I kept thinking of actual stars in the sky stars. Because I’m a science nerd girl.

  4. I use Irish Spring soap, Fiji antiperspirant, and Moroccan Myrrh (which used to be called Nomad and was the official scent of Prince Charles). So I like to think I smell like the Future King of England leaving his Irish Manor on the his way to represent the United Kingdom in the South Seas…

  5. I think I’d like to meet David.

    Anyway, it would seem to me that it behooves sales associates to humor people and be polite. Reprimanding a customer is not acceptable.

    I ride a very high horse.

  6. Oh, dear. You actually had to go stand there in the perfume aisle? I always walk around the block if there’s a different entrance into the store, but if I must go through the perfume part to get to the clothing (or whatever other part I need) I just hold my nose and run. Literally. Whatever is in most perfumes makes me physically sick and my throat begins to close up and I get a headache (but not a migraine because I don’t get those).

    What a nice person to go into that sick-inducing place to try to get something for a gift for someone who likes those things. And what a good girl to make a funny joke (and it IS funny). I have to admit, though, that if they had a “sour cream and onion dip” aisle on the way to clothing (or whatever part I need) I’d most likely just linger there until the store closed. Smiling.

  7. Seriously?
    I’m afraid that I would have laughed in her face.

    And then purchased my roller ball from Amazon.

    Whatever happened to Love’s Baby Soft or Rain?

Comments are closed.