Be the change.

A few people have contacted me to see if everything is okay with our family, and it made me realize that some of us have been friends for at least 15 years and perhaps it’s not appropriate for me to toss unsettling hints at you.
I apologize for that.

The truth is this. Jeff’s position at work was eliminated. His last day was yesterday. He has worked there for twenty years and he loves what the company does and he appreciates and respects everyone he worked with while he was there. He left on good terms. There are no hard feelings.

And, yes. It’s scary. BUT, we know that it could be so much worse.

Jeff is smart and creative and dependable and he doesn’t punch people and he’s an amazing writer and he gets along well with others and he’s a great public speaker and he doesn’t complain when I say things like, “Let’s go get burritos!” when he’s really not in the mood for burritos.

He will find another company who needs him, and he will develop the same passion for them that he had for the other company.

This unexpected hiccup will find me clipping coupons again and using the Crock pot more often and controlling my eagerness to try new skincare products. (Have I told you about my newfound love for Andalou? The Willow Bark Pure Pore Serum is like new boyfriend magic.) All of these shifts are positive.

2016 has been a rough year for many people (PRINCE died!), and I guess it would be easy for all of us to fall into a deep vat of chattering Woe is Me/I’m So Angry plastic teeth.

Instead, I’ve decided to be contagiously positive. (I’m fairly good at it, and the world needs it.)

(During an appointment last week, I rode an elevator with an older woman who complimented my clothes. When I smiled at her, she said, “It’s good that you can laugh at yourself.” I have no idea what she was trying to say, but I loved her for saying it. (I was wearing a black tunic with black leggings and a diffuser necklace, which is sort of my uniform these days.))

My new freelance project will be starting up this week. School starts the week after that. (My migraine preventative doubles as an anti-anxiety agent!) We will find a new flow.

Thank you so much for your kindness and your support and your friendship.

Everything will be fine. For all of us!
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26 thoughts on “Be the change.”

  1. Oh my gosh. The stress associated with this can be overwhelming, stay strong and positive. Every time one of these things happens to me I come out in a better place. One that I would never have ventured near without that sometimes rude kick in the butt. All the positive thoughts coming your way. And enjoy his time home!

  2. Oh my. Everything will be ok. There will be days that it will not be ok, but it will be ok.

  3. All of the stamen and pistils, and then your comment about Jeff finding “another company who needs him, and he will develop the same passion for them that he had for the other company” right above the photo of the two women garnering new passion for one another, all made me very optimistic for the many bright new beginnings in your family’s life. I’m not going to ask you how I can help; I’m just going to try to figure out a way to do so. <3

  4. I suck at picking up hints and had no idea. I’m sorry for the hiccup, but have no doubt you guys will power through.

  5. I was thinking about you tonight, and I am confident that your quartet is going to be ok. The positive outlook will only help. When we were in a similar spot I knit a lot from the stash. Productive and cheap.

  6. Yikes! All of my most sustaining thoughts are streaming your way. If we lived closer, you know I’d be buying you a burrito — or three. Jeff could order something else if he wasn’t feeling burrito-ish.

  7. Good luck to you and your lovely family during this time of transition! I love your positive outlook and you’re right – the world needs it. (And now I’m off to Etsy to order myself a diffuser necklace.)

  8. Oh, jeez. Of course everything will sort itself out but these periods of uncertainty can be hard. Sending love and supportive vibes from NJ.

  9. Last year, life threw our family a huge curve ball and my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. (He’s fine and cancer free a year later). It was stressful and scary. He is only 42 and it as completely unexpected. But we knew we had two choices: freak out or come together and fight. As much as it sucked, it really brought my little family together stronger than ever. If anyone had told me that we would actually look back at that time and smile, I would have thought they were insane. But it’s true. My children (who are 11 and 9) were amazing. My husband handled the situation with grace and a lot of humor. I discovered I have a backbone when needed. It also gave us a new appreciation for what a great life we have and how to appreciate the small things.
    Your family is already amazing. You will see that although things are not what you expected, you will come together and it will all be ok.
    I hope he finds an amazing new job quickly and that you enjoy your unexpected free time together.

  10. Enough with this year! In January, my husband took a new position at his company that was much less stressful, but with a significant pay cut. At the end of February, I lost my job because my ex-husband, who I still worked with, was diagnosed with incurable brain cancer and we had to shut the business down. I spent a couple of months devoted to helping my not so beloved ex-in-laws handle business and personal stuff (what fun!) and have been taking some time off to recover from the insanity of this year. So, no new shoes or pricey moisturizers lately and lots of cooking and eating in. But we have everything we really need, and I have a fresh perspective on what is important. I don’t know what the future holds, but I think it will all work out and I have actually been freed from some things that were holding us back. It’s scary sometimes, but I try to be positive and breathe and enjoy the summer days. All this blather to say that I understand some of what you’re dealing with and stay positive and it will all work out. As you say, you will find your new flow and new ground to stand on, as difficult as that might be at times. Hang in there and appreciate all the little things that give you peace.

  11. OH DUDE. I am confident Jeff will land on his feet, but I understand well the stress of this sort of thing, argh. (Also, I love that you love Andalou because I ALSO love Andalou — the Age Defying line has been rocking my world for a good six months now.)(And as a fellow Bernie supporter who is voting for Clinton, I offer you the secret handshake.)

  12. Thanks so much for posting this. You are right; this year has been full of change for lots of us. I think I need some of your migraine medicine these days…

    I’ll be keeping you and your beautiful family in my thoughts and prayers. I hope Jeff finds something even better than what he is leaving.

    I appreciate you very much!!!

  13. Losing a job always sucks. There’s a great networking organization in the StL area that Jeff probably already knows about (but contact me if you need to know more).

  14. You will use this time of your life to figure out many things you thought you already knew. They will all be good things. Your daughters are in good hands with parents like you and Jeff, and all of you will come to say, “It seems strange, but I’m actually glad that happened because we wouldn’t have____(fill in the blank) otherwise.” In the meantime, your positive attitude will get you through.

  15. Much love and sooo many hugs to you all, I don’t see you guys nearly often enough, but when I do I feel so lucky to know you! Your positivity is infectious. My eyes will be peeled for potential leads!!

  16. Sending my best wishes for many wonderful new beginnings….. A side question–where were all these gorgeous flowers and amazing Chihulys? Botanical Gardens? Beautiful photos!!!

  17. So glad that you are all well – hope J finds another job soon. And as my mother always says “You never know what’s a good thing”. Most of the other commenters seem to be saying something along the same lines. Am sure all will be well but it’s obviously v stressful for all of you in the short term. Will light a candle for you.

  18. I am so sorry! I have been through many job upheavals and it is no fun, to wildly understate. But your attitude is perfect and you will get through it. Hang in there!

  19. Haven’t checked in here in a while. Wishing all good things and new beginnings for you and your family!

  20. We’re three years on from this situation and all the change! All the weird! All the not speaking to my father for a month for voting the Tories into government! (I blamed him alone). You’re a much better person than me because I was fuming and shouting at the sky.

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