The high school released a dress code reminder that included information regarding the prohibition of pillows and blankets in the classroom. A student in Meredith’s health class, when asked for a sore throat remedy, answered “Put a little bit of Fireball in your coffee.” Well, the names have all changed since you hung around, but those dreams have remained and they’ve turned around…
I replaced the handle and flapper in our downstairs toilet last week, and our flush is now 82% more efficient. At least 82%, actually. Immediate feedback on the handle with no toilet running throughout the night. I’m building my skillset.
Because Meredith is now a vegetarian, I have become an even better vegetarian. Also, I’ve practiced yoga for the past ten days. I had signed up for a guided meditation practice last night, but my stomach wouldn’t allow me to go. Ah, but go I will.
Jeff and I went to a party last weekend and I didn’t freak out and stare into a pan of noodles for most of the night. Anti-Anxiety Pills + White Russian(s) + Sparklepants = Even Steven. I believe my only regrettable moment was the false confession that I occasionally wear my sparklepants when I’m prostituting. These folks don’t know me very well, and sometimes my nervous jokes are more damaging than funny. (This is my truth: I have never prostituted, I am not currently prostituting, and although none of us know what the future might hold, I think it’s safe to say that I will not prostitute in the years to come.)
My ear is all gross and I’ve been pouring Hot Chocolate honey into my coffee every morning. These two items are not related, but I stuck them together because neither needs elaboration.
My 30th high school reunion is taking place sometime in April. Do you remember when you helped me choose my outfit for the 20th reunion? That was super fun until Gloria (comment #49) told me that my outfits are boring and I look older than I probably am. (I do hope that Gloria is having a nice day today. We’re all doing our best, aren’t we?)
I just want to say #NOprah. Yes, I think she’s great at getting us all stirred and HellYeah’ed, but I would rather see Elizabeth Warren or Cory Booker in the White House. This is just my opinion.
The Artist’s Way. I’m in. (I haven’t read it since 2003 when I was pregnant with Meredith and eating enough friend bologna to make my appendix explode.) Fifteen years have passed and I need a refresher.
I’m listening to this in the car. My favorite two quotes so far?
- The Universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are.
- There’s nothing as unstoppable as a freight train full of fuck-yeah.
‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>
Obviously, Sparklepants for the reunion!
Typical Gloria.
I’m totally #NOprah with you. I think she’s brilliant and wonderful at doing her job. I do not think she should expand her job to include president.
I like Cory Booker and I fangirl hard over Elizabeth Warren but I worry that Warren is more effective in her current position, especially if she went in to the presidency against a Republican held house/senate. On the other hand, I could see her being the #neverthelessshepersisted the democratic party needs to get our shit together. (Sorry for swearing but I think we can both agree that shit is the only appropriate word for this current mess)
I had my 30th reunion this summer. It turned out I was really glad I went. I had to look back at the pictures to be sure I remembered what I wore. I DID remember that my best friend wore a fabulous jumpsuit, and that a lot of women (as we are all of a certain age) were rockin’ the “cold shoulder” shirt (because let’s face it- our shoulders still look pretty good AND it’s on trend). Can’t wait to see what you choose.
P.S. Poor Gloria and her sad little mean-internet-commenting life. You are kinder to her than I think I would be……
Cory Booker, Sparklepants and the F word for the win!! For the record, Fireball in coffee is not a good sore throat remedy.
My son’s high school has just informed the students that there will be a 30 minute detention for having an untucked uniform shirt or appearing to be chewing gum. It is obviously a different world in the UK! Maybe the teachers need Fireball in their coffee?
Can I borrow the Sparklepants for my 30th reunion next year?
(1) I love the full-on photo of Jeff and you directly after the long prostitution paragraph.
(2) The honey and ear *do* go together, no? Since one can cure the other (that whole local-honey-immune-system stuff?)?
(3) Um…you decidedly *do* look wayyy younger than you are. This is not hyperbole because my main resolution was to give up being hyperbolic.
(4) What’s in that avocado photo?! Yum.
(5) I am #TeamOprahForPresident. This may be the only thing we disagree on. (Also, I called it 20+ years ago: if she runs for Preident, she’ll win.)
(6) What is “friend bologna?”
(7) I had to sing the bologna song to spell bologna.
I also want to keep Oprah as a national cheerleader encouraging us to be our best selves, while also hoping for a car for each of us.
I’d like for someone with a wide range of policy experience for president, please.
Friend bologna is my new favorite phrase
You look GLORIOUS (#screwyouGloria) in your sparklepants and amazing tunic and Jeff looks so dapper. YAY on the yoga (I tried to sign up (twice!) and never heard back so am on a 40 day meditation mission (going strong!) plus some other random stuff. For 40 days. And on day 2 of stupid migraine from hell. Also with you on #NOprah. I am leaning Kamala currently (she is brilliant), but am keeping an open mind.
)
(I forgot to close my parentheses.)