Warning: Potentially disturbing photo ahead! We can still be friends, though. We can be whatever we want to be.

Yesterday was spent celebrating my birth, and today was spent celebrating the fact that I have two teenagers in the house who call me Mom, and four animals who think of me as their mom. (At least I think that’s what they think.) Know this: I really don’t believe you have to actually give birth to be a mom. In fact, some folks believe that *I* didn’t actually give birth because the girls never slid out of my vagina.

Evidence: Please (once again) enjoy this photo of Harper being pulled from my insides! While the photo was being taken, I was chilling out on my back eating Funyuns and wondering if I would be cleaned up and returned to my room in time for Jeopardy. (I was! Fun Fact: The Final Jeopardy question had something to do with the Black Hole of Calcutta!)

First Glimpse of Harper

47 was a good year for me. I didn’t have quite enough work, but I put in a lot of volunteer hours. My colon stopped working properly, but it’s now pretty much on the mend. Although they look like something my grandma might have worn, I bought yellow shoes. A few friends gave up on me, but I made some new friends who fall under the umbrella of Band Parents Who Aren’t Afraid to Eat a Nacho or Drink a Beer. I helped a few dogs find their way back to their owners. I engaged in some friendly civil disobedience. I took a writing course. I stopped growing my hair out and will never again grow my hair out because growing my hair out is such bullshit. I started practicing the piano again.

I became a tiny bit more fearless.

I added a knocker to my collection of knockers.

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7 thoughts on “Warning: Potentially disturbing photo ahead! We can still be friends, though. We can be whatever we want to be.”

  1. I love this wrap-up. Also? This has been the year I’ve returned dogs to owners too! I had never done that before this neighborhood we moved into and I’ve done it SEVEN TIMES now! And twice with the same dog!

    (Ruby is a fat and lovely mut and I’ll return her 100 more times just to enjoy a few moments with her.)

  2. Happy birthday, and thank you for sharing your stories and your knockers. One of the most pleasant afternoons I’ve had all year was running errands with a sweet lost dog, waiting for her owner to call me back.

  3. sounds like a fulfilling year…I have to admit that while I was reading it, and I read “I added to my Knocker collection”, I wasn’t sure what you were referring to and I was *almost* scared to scroll down–nice Knockers! ;)

  4. Happy Natal Day!
    And is it wrong to think of Young Frankenstein when I see knockers?

    “What Knockers!
    Why Zank you, Doctor!”

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