Next year we’re going to fill the back of the car with fake dead people.

Tonight was Trunk or Treat at the girls’ school. To prepare, we signed up for a parking spot (#29! Because you’re only as old as you feel!), I hemmed Harper’s Sleeping Beauty dress, I purchased treats for 200 kids, I cleaned out the back of the car, and I carved a pumpkin. (I’m proud of my pumpkin. Full disclosure: Yes. I used a pattern.)


Because our neighbors are not very enthusiastic about Halloween, this is pretty much it for the girls. And they were a tiny bit excited.

Sleeping Beauty and the Dancing Diva

Harper, as I mentioned earlier, is Sleeping Beauty. Meredith? Meredith is a Barbie Dancing Diva. Yes she is.

Sadly, I had No Idea how seriously some people are about Trunk or Treat.

Notes for next year:

  • Bring more candy. (We left with three Tootsie Roll Pops to spare. That was a close one.)
  • Make a Spooky Song CD (although Jeff’s last minute Tom Waits iPod blast was quite impressive).
  • Hang streamers and/or garbage bags in the car.
  • Bring a live camel.
  • Floss.


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Yes, I’ve had reactions. But not to a flu shot.

This afternoon I picked the girls up from school and headed straight to the drug store to purchase Starlight Mints for Meredith. Although she’s no longer contagious, her cough is so annoying that her teacher sent her to the nurse’s office this afternoon for a cough drop. Because the nurse isn’t allowed to give medicine that hasn’t been prescribed by a physician (I had a blanket prescription written at the beginning of the school year that covered Tylenol and Tums, but I totally zoned on cough drops.), Meredith was given a Starlight Mint and sent on her merry way.

And a merry way it was. Meredith LOVES the mints. She has never had hard candy before, which probably blows your mind. Or maybe it doesn’t. Here. Let me tell you why my kids have never had hard candy before: Once, when Meredith was a year old, she choked on a tiny cracker in the back seat of the car. And it scared the crap out of me to the extent that I rarely give anyone (including Jeff) foods with high choke potential. I don’t allow the girls to have gum. They cannot eat popcorn unless a drink is nearby. Most importantly, no clove cigarettes.

As I was saying, Meredith LOVES the mints. And because coughing kids break my heart, I threw caution to the wind, put on my Laissez Faire hat (it sparkles!), and drove straight to the drug store to load up. While there, I noticed that the pharmacy was offering flu shots for $24.99. What a bargain! Maybe?! I don’t know!

Me: Hey! Girls! Do you want to see Mommy get a shot?!

Harper: Will it be in your butt?

I grabbed the forms from the pharmacist, was baited and switched with “We are currently out of the $24.99 version, but can we interest you in the much prettier $29.99 version? It contains no preservatives!”

Me: I’ll take the pretty one! After all, it’s not MY money, it’s my HUSBAND’S money! And he doesn’t want me to get sick, because if I’m sick, Who Will Cook the Lasagna?!

(The lasagna is in the oven Right Now. It’s vegetarian, and is loaded with peas and mushrooms. My windows are cracked, so that’s what you’re smelling. It’s a soft food, you know. No choke potential. Stress-free dinner.)

A few minutes later, the pharmacist called the girls and I into the back room for the shot.

Pharmacist: Let’s talk about your fever and vomiting.

Me: Gosh, I can’t remember the last time I threw up, and I know I don’t have a fever.

Pharmacist: On the form you just filled out, you checked Yes to “I have had a fever or vomited in the past 24 hours.”

Me: How weird! I have no recollection of checking the Yes box. That pen must have been sort of like a Ouija board but not really!

Pharmacist (who apparently works in a position where there’s not much room for joking around): Have you had a fever or thrown up in the past 24 hours?

Me (totally sober now): No, Ma’am.

Pharmacist (who knows she can’t trust me as far as she can throw me, and I outweigh her by at least twenty pounds): Do you suffer from Guillain-Barre syndrome?

Me: No.

Pharmacist (Wait! She’s asking me all of the questions from the form! She probably thinks I don’t know how to read. Sometimes the illiterate are really good fakers, as evidenced by several made for television movies!): Are you allergic to eggs?

Me: I will not eat them on a train.

So, here I sit. The lasagna will be ready in fifteen minutes, and I’ve been vaccinated. And I hesitate to tell you this, but my kids have been vaccinated, too. Some of you think that’s fine, but some of you CAPS LOCK DO NOT THINK THAT’S FINE. And that’s what makes the world a special place, don’t you think? We’re all just doing our best, it’s just that some people believe they are doing it Better Than Others.

Today I give thanks for the Canadians.
(I currently have three giveaway things going on. That has never happened before. Are you feeling lucky? You certainly look lucky.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

As long as there’s Sea Silk, the world is a happy place. Right?

Our annual neighborhood street party took place two weeks ago. While the girls were off playing with the other kids, Jeff reached over from his lawn chair and touched my hair. Naturally, I thought he was feeling amorous, but I covered.

Me: Did I have a bug?

Jeff: No. I was just noticing the gray.

Oh, Internet. It’s been happening for a long time, but it never really became Real until that moment. I Am Getting Old. I am no longer able to change the shape of my body. (I’ve been trying unsuccessfully for over a year now, and sure: I have been known to eat handfuls of chocolate chips, but for the most part? I am a healthy eater. AND, I’ve once again been working out every day. Still, the pants are too tight and the scale never changes.) I am The Shape of a Mom. And it sounds like I’m complaining. I’m not complaining. I believe I’m really just sort of sighing and realizing that I can’t get out of bed and look fresh anymore. (The sad thing? When I was in my twenties, I could get out of bed and look good. AND, I looked better as the day dragged on. By 11:00 at night when it was time to go out? A little bit of eyeliner and some shoes of questionable height would often score free beverages for me! It’s not like that anymore. It’s not  like that At All.)

But that’s not really what I wanted to talk about. What I WANTED to do was share my Friday with you. This morning I dropped Meredith off at school, I’m currently drinking coffee while Harper plays a game, and in about two hours I’m going to The Loopy Ewe to pick up a skein of Hand Maiden Sea Silk 150. You see, the Sea Silk normally comes in 437 yard skeins. HOWEVER, every once in awhile things go happy crazy, and some skeins are created that contain 656 yards! And because Sea Silk is my all time favorite yarn, this happy crazy event often feels like the smiliest part of Christmas morning. For me, at least. (Side note: If you order a skein of Sea Silk 150, let me know. I can provide a list of possible patterns for you! I’ve been doing some research! I think I’ll be making one of these!)

After my yarn pick-up, Harper and I are going to the mall with my mom to grab a bite of lunch before she gets her monthly B12 shot, and then we will be returning home so I can get my bag packed for an evening of Houlihan’s and scrapbooking. And that’s funny, because I don’t really scrapbook as a verb. However, I *do* enjoy Houlihan’s with friends (although the apostrophe S is really bothering me today for some reason), and I haven’t carried my goofy scissors into a mall in over a year, so there you go. (I’ve been putting a note in Meredith’s lunch box every day for the past three weeks. I believe my evening will be spent stockpiling a bunch of those notes. Right now, I tend to simply draw a backward cat out of a Q and then write something ridiculous like “This cat wishes he could wear your candy corn shirt!!!” Yeah. I’m struggling.)

So, what’s your plan for today?

(I offer my apologies for being so bland. What do you want to know?)

Edited to Add: Aaaaahhhhhhhh.
Salt Spray ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Care to relive our weekend?

Meredith had her first soccer game on Saturday.

Goal Tenderrrrrr! (Sung to the theme of Goldfinger, obviously)

Afterward, the team celebrated their loss with amazing amounts of sugar. (Not pictured, but definitely devoured: A massive doughnut.)

Patron Saint of Sugar

On Saturday afternoon, we went to The LOT, where the girls met Fredbird and I admired Courtney’s TwIsTeD creations.


Also, Harper was inked by the St. Louis Symphony.


Finally, we went to the Arch. (I’m convinced that it’s impossible to take an interesting photograph of the Arch, as it’s already been photographed (and photographed, etc.) from every possible angle.)


There was also a graduation party that contained the best corn bread corn casserole thing I’ve ever tasted. Also, I made turkey burgers flavored with crushed spicy pretzels. Best of all? We experienced sweater weather, and I drank a chai outside. Things are getting good.

(TCOB: Last call for t-shirts. If you didn’t receive an e-mail from me, I’m not aware of your t-shirt urges. If you received an e-mail from me and you didn’t respond, I’ll assume you’ve changed your mind. Either way, I drank a chai outside this weekend. And that, coupled with the tattoo and the goal tending and whatnot, is really all that matters.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>