If you don’t love the Snow Puffs, I’ll shave my head and post questionable photos. (And that is not a promise!)

When I was in the eighth grade, I had a terrible day at school. (I actually had several terrible days, but one really stands out.) Without going into too much detail, let me just say this: I had to wear a raincoat throughout the day because I was dealing with teenage girl issues and didn’t have much backup and now you know exactly what I’m talking about, and it was hot outside, so I was all sweaty and smelly in my raincoat and people kept asking why I was wearing a raincoat when it had stopped raining three hours ago and “The sun is out! It’s too hot for a jacket! We’re running laps in PE, and you’re still wearing a raincoat?! What’s that smell? Why are you crying?!”

When I got home from school that day, I remember changing clothes and going into the kitchen to find something to eat. My mom had been to the store earlier that day, and she had bought those Star Crunch cookie things. I sat on the floor and ate four of them, and my world was suddenly bright again. (You know, until the next day when so-and-so didn’t look at me the right way (or not at all) and I missed a word on my spelling test or whatever. Ugh, eighth grade.)

Shortly after I met Jeff he told me that his mom used to stock the house with Oatmeal Pies, and that he would often come home from school and eat a number of them just to forget about the day.

(We are soul mates.)

Anyway, Little Debbie has now come out with a line of one hundred calorie snacks and they sent some to me a few weeks back, because they saw me exercising through the window and wanted to provide some healthy snacks as I attack Project Pudding Pounddown 2009.

Because I love you and today is day worthy of a huge celebration that includes free cake (even if you’re terribly self-conscious and wearing a raincoat), I’m giving out a big box of the Little Debbie 100 Calorie Snacks to three lucky people. In this box, you’ll receive the following (listed in my order of preference) Snow Puffs, Nutty Bars, Marshmallow Treats, Whole Wheat Wafer Nutty Bars, Yellow Cakes, Chocolate Cakes, Triple Fudge Brownies, and Gingerbread Cookies. (Descriptions and photos are here.)

Just leave a comment below and tell me your favorite Little Debbie memory. OR, tell me about your most horrific day in the eighth grade. Or, tell me nothing. I’ll still put your name in the drawing, because I’m cool like that.

Names will be drawn on Friday morning after I wake up and enjoy an egg or two.

EDITED TO ADD: Thanks SO much to everyone for the stories! I wish I could send Little Debbies to each and every one of you! All winners have been notified. If any of them change their mind, I’ll draw more names! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

122 thoughts on “If you don’t love the Snow Puffs, I’ll shave my head and post questionable photos. (And that is not a promise!)”

  1. Oh! My entire 8th grade year was the worst day of my life. We moved from WI to IN the day before 8th grade class started, and I had lived in the same place for 11 years and had all the same friends and was horrible at making new ones, and then one of my new “friends” told everyone I was a lesbian (which I was/am not). Now I’d be less bothered by that, but then? Horrible. I was a nerd to start with, that did not help. Anyway. I love Star Crunch! And I’m on Weight Watchers right now! So 100 calorie snacks would be very appreciated. So I’m crossing my fingers over here.

  2. My mother was my 8th grade English teacher…

    The big mythology report was due on Tuesday. On Wednesday, one of the “cool” kids, the Athletic Director’s son, was called into my mom’s classroom…seems that he copied the report of an older buddy, not realizing that my mom kept (mimeographed) copies of everyone’s reports for several years. He exited my mom’s room, walked to my locker, shoved his cool, athletic finger in my face and said, “Your MOM failed me. You suck.”

    I believed him for more than a little while…

    Ahh… the eloquence that is middle school. Replay that little event with a varying cast of characters over a year and, well, you get the idea. It’s no wonder I have emotional eating issues – help me out with some 100 calorie Little Debbies on my diet quest!

  3. Trust me, you weren’t the only one trying to hide that particular “gift.” I thank God that it was fashionable to wear big, long, untucked shirts when I was in junior high.

  4. I don’t have any stories involving Little Debbie, but I will share a memory from 8th grade that I’ve managed to not block out…

    I hated pool week during gym class — the week where they’d teach us swimming and diving and how to feel self-conscious in a bathing suit. Somehow, I managed to get out of it every year with notes from my mom. The last “pool day” of 8th grade, a few other students forgot their swimsuits (sure) or had notes or whatever — so while the class was at the pool, they made us sit in the “special ed” classroom with all of the students with learning disabilities, and write “I will remember to bring my gym clothes” over and over and over until class ended.

  5. We ALWAYS had Little Debbie snack cakes in the kitchen cabinet. They were supposed to be for my dad’s lunches but, well, you know how that goes.

  6. My husband is a Corrections Officer and at his facility the inmates are no longer permitted to smoke, so they trade “Debbies” for favors instead.

  7. oh goodness! My worst day of 8th grade was surely this: The catty and mean group of girls I had been “friends” with all through 7th grade wrote me a letter saying that, basically, I was not to be their friend anymore. They were kicking me out of the group. So, obviously they were *not* my friends in the first place. Thankfully, this opened up a ton of space in my social life for the new friends that I still love, 10 years later.
    Also? We never had enough Little Debbies in my house growing up! So they’d be much appreciated!

  8. My mother NEVER bought us Little Debbies. I didn’t even know what they were until I was buying my own groceries.

    8th grade, doesn’t ever girl have a “that time of the month at school” story? I spent at least one day out of every month in 7th and 8th grade laying down in the nurse’s office because of horrific cramps.

  9. My mother was like Gail’s: No matter how often we begged, Mom never gave in to our pleas for Little Debbie confections. Oh, the hardship!

  10. 8th grade.. gee do I wax on about the day in Dodge ball when the two assholes in the class decided it was bean Angie in the head day – repeatedly. My hair fell victim to the bashing, and it looked like I had bed head all day.. or the time I got a secret admirer note and everyone told me it was so and so, and so and so waved at me in the hall and smiled and I was oh so excited until I read my next note – my next signed note. It wasn’t so and so, it was an ogre. A real life ogre. Of course, my best friend blabbed to everyone that I thought so and so liked me and wasn’t that a hoot …. I’ll stop now. So yeah, I used to (and still do) love me some Debbie snack cakes to make all the bad go away. Nutty Bars are my weakness.

  11. Yum! The snow puffs and gingerbread thingy-dingy look wonderful. But the chocolate cakes? Oh my, it’s chocolate cake!!

  12. I don’t remember what my favorite Little Debbie was! How weird is that? I came late to the LD party. I do remember liking the oatmeal sandwich cookie things, though. Yum!

    Picking just one bad 8th grade memory is hard. It was not a good year. How about the detention where the French teacher made me talk to her plant in French for 15 minutes?

  13. I have this friend. She used to be known for her “not”-cooking. If she brought anything to a party or get together her mother had made it and it kind of got to be a bit of a joke. Well, one time she came with this platter of these really scrumptious looking chocolate swirly things. I mean they looked de-lish. So we were all asking her if her mom had made these wonderful little delicacies. She just cracked up and said it was Little Debbies Swiss Cake Rolls she had sliced up and put on a tray. They looked like something fancy from a high class tea party. Ha! Ha! Joke’s on us this time. But I have to admit, everytime I can’t think of something to take to a get together, I ponder this as a possibility.

  14. Mmmm Star Crunch! I loved those when I was a kid, but resisted buying them now that I’m “all grown up.” Lucky for me, my new husband loves them and that gives me an excuse to buy them again!

  15. In all honesty, up until 8th grade, I’d always been a Hostess man. Ok, a Hostess BOY…let’s be realistic.

    We’d go to the snack shack after school, for several reasons. First, because it made us feel a little less creepy than going to Ralph’s Ice Cream Truck that was always parked in front of the church after school.

    Second, because the snack shack was on school grounds and we could get there quicker.

    Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, the snack shack was staffed by selected members of our female classmates. That beat Ralph by a greasy mile, but there’s one other thing that made me switch to Little Debbie.

    See, I’d always thought of Hostess as a cool uncle, who’d give you whatever you wanted, no matter how bad it was for you, and Little Debbie always seemed like the weird aunt who would load you up with sugarless candy and dental floss on Halloween.

    And then I tried a Nutty Bar when Shawna O. (who would later become my first girlfriend, and whose hand I was terrified to touch) informed me she was out of Twinkies, and I was a Little Debbie Man, through and through.

  16. I love me some nutty bars. Funny that you would put Little Debbies and eighth grade together. I was a little misguided in 8th grade, so my memories are of me and my friends eating nutty bars after partaking in some less than legal substances (if you know what I mean). Ahh, to be young again.

  17. 8th grade? I’ve just recently consumed enough red wine to eliminate most memories.

    Also? I don’t think we have little debbies in canada. You get the great leader for your country AND the good snacks? Lucky!!!

  18. Ooh! Little Debbie snacks were a staple in our lunchboxes growing up. I don’t know what else our lunches consisted of but there was always a Star Crunch, Swiss Cake Roll or Nutty Bar in there. Looking back, I’m amazed that they continued to make the cut time after time in the grocery store, but I swear that no matter how tight the budget was we could always count on the Little Debbies.

    And I sound like some hokey commercial. But I’m serious.

  19. My entire eighth grade year was one long exercise in social awkwardness and trying to disappear. In fact, I would say that was the case all the way through high school.

    So when my parents drove me to college and left me at my co-ed dorm, where I was all excited to meet new people and forge a new life, I was understandably mortified to find one of the Popular Boys also lived on the very same floor of my dorm.

    I walked to the corner gas station by myself and bought a box of Star Crunch. Then I took them back to my room and ate them all while my new roommate made out with her boyfriend on the bottom bunk. AWFUL day made more bearable with the help of Little Debbie.

    On a happier note, I am 35 now and things are super! I just had a really rough 13-23, is all.

  20. Hmmm… I don’t really remember any of 8th grade. I seem to have entirely blocked it out from my memory. And I am a happier woman because of this.

  21. There are too many to count – the 8th grade things – but the funniest was the time that the glass ball ponytail holder (aka bobbles) in my hair got caught in the volleyball net when a certain someone was on the opposing team – OMG.
    When I was pregnant with my first child, I ate a LOT of Little Debbie Nutty Bars, until I realized that I was gaining quite a bit of weight, even for a pregnant person, and had to cut back a bit. BUT – I still love me some Little Debbie!

  22. Eighth grade was so rotten, I will just share a memory from 7th. I spent the entire first semester putting clearasil on a zit on the side of my face near my chin. If you look (and you don’t even have to do it closely) you will see that it’s still there.

    That’s right. I spent several months bathing a mole in clearasil before I clued in. No wonder it would never pop.

  23. When I was in high school and constantly jonesing for the after-school snackage, my mother bought a bunch of little debbie and otherses, and explicitly told me to “take them upstairs to your room to hide them” and “don’t let your father see them”. He had a bit of an issue with the compulsive snack eating. Which I inherited, circa 11th grade. Heh.

  24. Urgh, I have several 8th grade stories just like that. Man. That sucked.

    I used to have Star Crunch as my in bookbag snack every day in Kindergarten. I still love them! I wish I had one right now! Mmmmm….

  25. Oh, gosh, I am sooo into the 100-calorie pack movement right now, it’s sad! ;) I’ve been wanting to try the Little Debbie ones forever….pick me, pick me!

    And thanks- your blog rocks. :)

  26. I absolutely love Star Crunch. Little Debbie is the best! (And in 8th grade, I had one of the meanest bully boys tell me I had an -ahem- accident… nice…. *bangs head in memory*)

  27. I am still pretending that the entirety of 7th and 8th grade didn’t actually happen. However, we had to go on these camping trips where they wanted us to do trust falls and that kind of thing. (School run by hippies.) The teachers didn’t know quite what to do with me when I refused. They asked why and I said, “I don’t trust them.” They couldn’t exactly argue that I ought to reevaluate my opinion of people who spent the day threatening to beat the crap out of me.

    One day, I baked a cake for my fave teacher. And ran out of decorator icing so we went to the store and got some more. Meanwhile, the dog had managed to lick off an even two inches of icing off the top of the cake. I just spread the leftover icing back down and gave those pieces to the mean girls. DOG LICK! MWAHAHA!

    Sadly, my mother never bought Little Debbie. Or Hostess. Or Pop Tarts. I had never even seen a Pop Tart outside of a commercial until I got to college. I was deprived. *sniff*

  28. Nutter Butters are my fave!

    In 8th grade my “best friend” and I had a fight so she put a note in my locker saying I was a b_tch but she didn’t want to write out the word so she couldn’t get in trouble. Then at lunch she made sure the table was full so I didn’t have anyone to sit with. If you look at any picture of me from 8th grade you’ll probably get the feeling that this was just a normal day for me…

  29. I worked as an Au Pair for a Family with three Children when their scheduled Au Pair couldn’t make it. When it came Time to ship off for Mizzou, my Replacement came all the way from Switzerland.

    We fast became Friends and I had the Joy of introducing her to all kinds of Ills.

    On one memorable Trip to Chicago, I introduced her to Reece’s Pieces and Oatmeal Cream Pies. I’m not sure what she liked best. Though, I’m pretty sure that our Chocolate doesn’t live up to theirs. . .

    I do remember that for the Rest of the Trip, we were stopping at every Gas Station to pick-up more Oatmeal Cream Pies.

    I still think of her everytime I see them in the Store. . . worth the extra Pounds I’m sure I put on that Weekend!

  30. I too had a feminine mishap and had to be that kid that wore her gym clothes the whole day…and then there is the time i dabbed a tinted pimple cream on my face in poor lighting then several hours later saw that i looked like i had dark foundation splattered on my face.

  31. Ohhhh, I love Little Debbies. My mom used to buy them all of the time. All of my friends remember the snack cabinet at my mom’s house, stacked to the brim with every junk food item known to man. Perhaps this might explain my penchant for Cheetos and Coke? We would raid the kitchen late at night on sleepovers. Honey Buns! Nutty Bars! Fudge Rounds!!!! Breakfast of champions, I tell ya.

  32. 8th grade? Mine was better than most. Still, who wants to talk about it. Snacks are so much more fun to talk about. Except that I have a big birthday coming up this year and am DETERMINED to meet my goal weight by then. Would these 100 calorie snacks help or hurt, really?

  33. My Eighth Grade Humiliation Story:

    We had a big track-and-field day at the end of the year. Everyone in 8th grade sat in the center of the track to watch the races, etc. They assigned me to run the hurdles. I was roughly 4-feet-tall by 4-feet-wide. Halfway through, I tripped over a hurdle and sprawled across the track. I stood up, dusted myself off, ignored the gym teacher’s commands to Finish The Race and walked off the track while the aforementioned Everyone stared at me.

    Please send snacks.


    The End.

  34. I had a similar day in 8th grade but I had to wear a giant t-shirt from my gym locker that had been there for who knows how long and proclaimed in bright letters that I was part of some sort of fitness and scholarship Presidential thing, like it wasn’t known through school what a nerd I was already.

  35. what is it about 8th grade! I had just moved to a small town in Texas and knew we were only staying a year so I didn’t make much of an effort. I think it was the worst year of my life. I have vowed never to go back to that town.

    Star crunch has always made me happy!

  36. Oh god, 8th grade was painful. No day was worse than the one before, as I recall. It was just all bad!

  37. Well, I already won the hat – so I’m out. But I do love Star Crunches and eight grade sucked – zits, braces, tall skinny awkwardness. Turns out in your mid twenties tall, skinny and blonde is in! Now in my thirties I look like a linebacker. I’m going to jump off a bridge now.

  38. I’ve blocked 8th grade from my mind and don’t remember anything. But I do love Little Debbies!

  39. When I was in 8th grade, my boyfriend’s best friend was jealous that my boyfriend spent more time with me than with him. So he picked a fight with me that culminated in him calling me a “stupid dogface.” My boyfriend stepped in and stopped him by calling him something equally insulting. So the bestfriend pushed him which resulted in my boyfriend headbutting him which resulted in our history teacher taking us ALL to the principal. They got suspended for one day and I was mortified. I refused to talk to either of them (by now both highly remorseful) and wouldn’t go back to school for two days.

    Interesting addendum…not only did I marry that boyfriend (after many, many years of being split up and then reconnecting) but that best friend played the music we walked into our ceremony with. And now he lives three blocks from us. And he is seriously dating my best friend from elementary school.

    And if I win the Little Debbies I vow to share them with my husband, his best friend, and my best friend too!

  40. In eighth grade, I once got busted in front of my friends, for “making eyes” at a boy . . . over the shoulder of a nun. It was a justified bust but humilating nonetheless. It was a four-Little Debbie day, for sure.

  41. Oh my gosh so many Little Debbie snacks. I need to win this.

    I don’t really have any memories about Little Debbie snacks, per se… but I do love them.

  42. A most terrible day of 8th grade (or at least the one that stands out in my mind at the moment) was the day I forgot my clothes for dance class and the teacher gave me some random leotard to wear – and it was stained and it smelled. It was terrible. I thought I’d never live it down. I bet I’m the only one who remembers it now though :)

  43. What is it about 8th grade?! They should let all kids stay home for that year. My memory is of this horrible emerald green, velour suit (pants and jacket) that I used to wear. I think back and wonder why in the world I liked it so much. Many horrible days involving the wearing of that suit (though the suit is only -remembered- in a negative way). Thankfully, there are no pictures.

  44. My mom usually didn’t buy Little Debbie cakes preferring to go with the cheapest, dry little cookies ever. Going to my grandparent’s was a treat because Grandma was a great cook and made pies and coconut cakes and peach ice cream. With all that good food, my stoic Granddad had a secret fondness for Little Debbie Snow Puffs that we would share while we watching Grand Ole Opry and sharing a Pepsi.

  45. My best Little Debbie memory is from high school – I went to a school where they sold Little Debbies during lunchtime – it was like a dream. So for lunch every day, I would buy a chocolate shake and a Little Debbie Brownie (oh so moist). I would crumble the brownie up in my shake and eat it together. I must have had a metabolism from the gods, because on that diet, I should have weighed 300 lbs.

  46. Three words…Christmas Tree Cakes!!! None of Little Debbie’s other holiday cakes can compare to the deliciousness of the Christmas Tree Cakes! I think that they put some “special” ingredient in the green sprinkles and the red icing that go on top.

    My 8th grade stories are too embarrasing to begin to verbalize-I still need therapy to get past some of them. Think that I’ll just keep those to myself for now. :)

  47. My worst day of 8th grade had to be the day when my English teacher, whose class I had right after gym, arranged to have the nurse call my mom to tell her I had a BO problem. My mom didn’t just discreetly get me some new deodorant, though – she told me EXACTLY what happened… and they still made me go back to school…

  48. Dang! Who knew Little Debbies and 8th grade memories were the key to vocalizing the silent masses?!

    My neighbor and I (i may have been in 8th grade although i’d like to think i was younger) decided to create a New Year’s tradition in which we stuffed our faces with Little Debbie oatmeal pies while throwing boulders up in the air at the turning of the New Year. (not to be an a$$ and pimp myself but i blogged about it recently) Clearly, I was a child in dire need of a life, a good dentist, and a helmet.

  49. Junior High (7 & 8th grade) were actually quite lovely.

    Ok, there was one major blow-out feminine issues day, but a trip to the nurse and I was sent home and la-dee-da.

    There was also much awkwardness around one boy from day one of 7th until the very last week of 8th. Then he asked me to let him cheat off my homework and I refused and he said he’d never go out with me then. And I was suddenly completely over him.

    Now, 9th & 10th grade, oy. Let’s see: catty friends that decided I was “it” and made up code names for me so they could viciously talk about me right in front of me (which, duh, I figured out pretty quickly). Having them pull my new friends aside to point out how “annoying” I was. Being the only one in my group that didn’t advance to the symphonic band that year (there were already 2 upperclassmen bassoonists so I had to stay at the concert level) so I was left with no one to eat with. There was a snack stand in our cafeteria which sold Little Debbies. Starcrunches were my only friends some days. (Gah, that’s pathetic but true)

  50. Oh, Oatmeal Pies, how I love thee.

    My main memory of 8th Grade is losing a contact lens the DAY AFTER I got contacts. So, I remember searching the hallway floor for it. We found it, by the way.

  51. I was a late bloomer so I simply didn’t understand why my best friend was crying over a stain on the back of her pants. She was tying her coat around her waist and begging to go home. All the while, I was like, “Seriously – you sat in mud. Who cares?” Because you know, most people seek out mud puddles when looking for a place to sit. So young. So naive. Now please let me when!

  52. When I was in high school I was a “Royalette”, which was the dance squad. And please do not ever call us cheerleaders. Anyway we practiced before school, but always had a few minuted for breakfast after practice. I ALWAYS had an oatmeal pie and a mountain dew…for breakfast. No wonder I fell asleep in class about an hour later every day.

  53. The first time I gave blood, the snack afterwards was a Little Debbie oatmeal pie. Then I found out I have a relatively rare type of blood, so they actually WANTED me to give as often as I could — talk about win/win!

  54. I don’t have room in my brain for such memories but I think that the first Little Debbie I had was an Oatmeal Pie. I loved them and still do.

  55. My most horrific day in 8th grade was sadly the day I forgot to wear deodorant. I remember the outfit I had on (jeans, white WWF Divas t-shirt, pleather jacket that kept shedding all over the shirt) and the plan was that I was going to look HOT. You know, like you do when you’re in 8th grade and you’re heavily overweight? Yeah. So that was the plan! Except it was hot and I was sweating, but I couldn’t take off my pleather jacket because I totally smelled, and then I was sweating even more and making it worse, and ughghglsdkh. I think, in the end, I found my gym bag in my locker and put on some emergency deodorant, but that might be wishful thinking!

  56. since we’re once again talking about visits from aunt flo… i think my worst day of 8th grade happened more than once when my severe cramps made me puke and pretend it wasn’t girl parts related when i sheepishly lurched to the nurse’s office. on one particular day, i had only managed to eat purple laffy taffy’s so i threw up purple taffy in full view of my classmates. that was fun. i probably hit someone’s z cavaricci jacket.

  57. oh and I really cannot decide what is may favorite little debbie. I used to slowly peel the chocolate shell off swiss cake rolls and eat the pieces in chocolate shakes in the high school cafeteria (i wonder if they still let you subsist on junk food for lunch or if they’ve phased that out). but, i also love nutty bars and star crunches. oh, and those apple crumb cakes. great, now i’m hungry.

  58. actually, eighth grade was fine — it was seventh grade that sucked, and I have BLOCKED ALL MEMORIES of that year


    mmm… nutty bars

  59. I don’t have a story about 8th grade, but I have a great one about 5th. We were taking the state standarized tests and our teacher said that under no circumstances could we leave the room. Well, I had to use the restroom really badly and I was about to get up and go ask for a hall pass….yeah, didn’t quite make it and peed all over myself and all of books that were under my desk. Awesome. Still haven’t recovered from that one and it’s been 21 years.

    Now, on to Little Debbie…Nutty Bars were my Grandpa’s favorite snack and he always had a jar filled with them. My parents divorced when I was 4, so I didn’t get to see Grandpa as often as I liked, but when I did our big thing was a tall glass of milk and a nutty bar. I can’t have them as often as I did back then, but when I do it takes me back to one of the happiest times of my childhood.

  60. man I wish I had known you in 8th grade … it would have made me so much cooler by comparison!! LOL (haha, kidding)
    I don’t know that I have any really great Little Debbie stories, but it does drive my husband nuts to watch me eat a Swiss Cake Roll. I like to eat the chocolate off the outside, then the cake, licking off the cream. Coincidentally, it drives my husband nuts to watch me eat most things … I can be a bit neurotic. KitKats are fun

  61. Love Little Debbies, Swiss cake rolls are my favorite.

    I remember you in 8th grade, that being said, you remember me too. 8th grade was hard.

  62. My mom didn’t allow us to have those kinds of snacks when I was little and I’ve blocked out most of my memories of childhood so I’m just going to leave this comment.

  63. 8th grade? You are so lucky you missed most of the junior high angst with having to deal with ‘your friend’…..mine was 5th grade. URGGGGGG.

  64. I need some Snow Puffs. My entire childhood was completely devoid of Little Debbie. Really. I need to make up for lost time.

  65. Oh Little Debbie, the joy you have brought into my life in incalculable. I ate them all through my formative years – oatmeal creme pies and nutty bars – and I’d share a story from then but I’ve blocked out all the truly horrific ones I think.

    I do remember eating them A LOT in college though. Whenever life was a little too much – exams, boy trouble, bad grades, bad friends – I would make a 2 am run to Walmart (don’t judge! I was poor and they were open) for some Little Debbies. Also, oatmeal creme pies are the best hangover food of all time.

  66. I too had a feminine issue in 8th grade. Luckily it was at the end of the day and my “backpack” was one of those giant ESPRIT bags which was wide enough to cover my bum, but it was one uncomfortable bus ride home. Me perched on the very edge of the bus seat while my friend who was sitting with me was staring at me all crazy, repeating “what’s wrong with you” the whole way home. I keep hearing the one person who saw the disaster before I properly positioned the ESPRIT bag, haunting me in my dreams: “Did you sit in chocolate?” Er…

    My dad and I used to eat Oatmeal Pies together back in the day. I also loved eating the Swiss Cake Rolls, peeling off the outside chocolate and then unrolling the roll. YUM!

  67. My mom kept the bread drawer stuffed with Little Debbie snacks too! Star Crunches, Oatmeal Pies, Swiss Rolls… I’m going into sugar shock just thinking about them.

    One time I saw she’d bought an extra box of the Oatmeal Pies. Two! BOXES! of Oatmeal Pies! So my little brother and I decided that we should hide them away somewhere, for our own secret stash.

    Problem was we hid them so well, we forgot about them.

    Flash forward months, and months, and months later, to when our dad found them. I seriously don’t even know how long it had been.

    We watched him pull the box out, and had trouble distinguishing what it may once have been. The box was warped, covered in dust, and even though they were individually sealed, moisture had gotten into the box and the handful on top had begun to moulder.

    When Dad opened the box, realization dawned and passed between the look I exchanged with my brother. It didn’t take our dad long to figure out what happened. Guilt was written on both of our faces as though with a permanent marker.

    Because we hid them, behind the toilet.

  68. Ahhh…..eighth grade. Walking thru the mall with the boy I was “going with”. This mall had trees growing at various points inside that were surrounded by 5ft. diameter grates. Presumably for watering purposes. Anyway, Jr. High boyfriend and I were walking along when suddenly I find myself face-first skidding along the mall floor after having caught my foot in a tree grate. Imagine the 8th grade horror! I need to go find some Little Debbie snackcakes to calm the humiliation even when I think about it now.

  69. 8th grade was pretty bad. Not as bad as 6th (during which my entire class- only 5 people but still- ganged up on me and threw rocks at my head) but still pretty craptastic. In 8th grade I was in Catholic school because my parents thought it would make me behave better (it didn’t), I had my first boyfriend, my first real boyfrienderly kiss, a horrible fight with my best friend, and really bad hair. Those were the days.

  70. I conveniently blotted out eighth grade from my mind. Oh wait, I think it was the grade I skipped. Oh well, 7th and 9th were no better (still in junior high at that point). Pounddown sounds like a great idea, so send those Little Debbie’s along!

  71. My most horrific day was in 8th grade, just before graduation. Since there was no classwork to do, the 8th grade class was outside on the playground. Half the class was playing softball, and the other half were lounging around on the sides or in the grass. I was one of those sitting in the grass with a group of friends.

    We were busy talking about all sorts of things, until it came time to go inside and practice for the graduation ceremony. As we all got up and dusted ourselves off, brushed off our pants, someone noticed a particularly unpleasant odor. Hmm. What could that be, you ask? Dog poo, of course. Yuck! We had been sitting too close to it.

    Oh, wait a minute. We weren’t just sitting too close to it, *I* was sitting ON it. Everyone (except me, of course) thought this was hysterically funny. And the dog poo was right on my butt, the side that would be FACING the audience as I walked across the stage to practice receiving my diploma for graduation.

    I went to the school office to beg and plead to be able to go home and change clothes. I lived one – only one! – house away from the school, and they would not let me go home to change pants. “School policy” and all. Apparently, dying of embarrasment is not considered a good enough reason to be allowed to go home and change clothes. I had to go in the bathroom and try to clean it off with toilet paper. You can probably imagine how well that went.

    So, I had to walk across the stage in front of the entire 7th and 8th grade classes, with dog poo on my butt (they let the 7th graders watch for fun — Oh, goody, more people to watch). I have never wished to disappear more in my entire life. What a way to end your elementary school years. Like the commercial says – Yay, Memories!

  72. One time, though it’s hard to admit and makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it, I ate an entire box of Nutty Bars in one day! Sadly, I cannot attribute it to teenage angst as I was a full-on adult. Good times. 5,000 calorie good times.

  73. PS – Nearly every day of the 8th grade (and 7th, and 9th, and 10th, and… well, you get the idea) was horrific. I’m surprised I survived at all. Come to think of it, maybe teenage angst did play a small part in my overconsumption of Nutty Bars later in life!

  74. Eight grade. Nope, not going there. Far too painful. Memories repressed.

    But Little Debbie…mmmmmmmmmmmm. And I never even tasted one until I was in college.

  75. It was 1978 or 1979–my mom had recently left my father and moved us 6 hours to update new york (us being, my 5 year old self and my 1 year old twin sisters). You should cue the soundtrack for “i am woman, hear me roar” sort of thing. anyway, i have a vivid memory of riding in the front seat of my mom’s blue saab (no seat belt laws etc. back then) and this BIG Little Debbie Truck drives by. And my 5 year old self was crazy about little debbies-so I roll down my window, cranking the handle as fast as i can and start screaming, “throw me some debbies, throw me some debbies!” and the twins are going crazy in their carseats in the backseat adding their voices to the chant of “little debbies”. The truck driver gave us a smile and honked his horn at us, but alas, did not throw us any debbies. So somehow, little debbies is associated with female empowerment to me. Weird, right?!

  76. Little Debbie didn’t exist where I grew up. Could be because my crunchy mom only shopped at the health food store and left us in the car when she shopped at Safeway. I’ve eaten more pita bread than I care to remember.


  77. I apparently have blocked out all of the 8th grade, but when I was a freshman in high school we had a pep rally for homecoming with the entire school in attendance. Several people from each sports team, including me, were selected to participate in a “caterpillar race”. Each person crawled inside a sleeping bag face first and then had to worm their way across the gym floor to the finish line. When I finished and was getting out the bag, my untucked shirt stuck to the sleeping bag and I flashed the entire school. Good thing I decided to wear a bra that day – something I sometimes didn’t wear given my flat chestedness. Good times.

  78. Swiss Cake Rolls. Sneaking out of my parents house with the neighbor’s kids and going to the gas station to buy junk food, instead of beer and cigarettes. Wow, we were such rebels.

  79. without a doubt, the nutty bars and the oatmeal cakes. my parents were tyrants who didn’t believe in having any junk food in the house. thank god my grandparents did not espouse the same belief. i can still remember the glorious snack drawer at their house ….. always loaded with little debbie treats, ready and available for the binge-eating.

  80. If it weren’t for Little Debbie & her treats I never would have made it through my first pregnancy. Imagine if you will a newly married 20 year old – working 2 part time jobs while attending college nearly full time – married to a guy going to school full time and working full time – living in my parents basement. You too would’ve capped off every day you could with Debbie & her delights. And it only took me 12 years to lose that baby weight!

  81. I can’t even think of 8th grade without shuddering.

    The worst day of my 8th grade life was when my best friend gave me back her half of our best friend charm (you know, the one shaped like a heart that you broke down the middle so there was one half for each girl). It was all super-dramatic. I spent the day crying in my English teacher’s classroom.

    I was that miserable until I went to college.

  82. I’m with everyone else on the horrid Jr high experience. I think I’ll homeschool my girls those years. Seriously. That being the case, we could ALL use a case of Little Debbies to share.

  83. In eighth grade I was a nerd, but I took the bus from the poor houses to the nice rich school with the other not so rich kids. On the bus I met another nerd. I sat next to him. Then one day I kissed him. I never sat next to him again. Ah eighth grade!

  84. Our eighth grade gym teacher actually has us chant, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!” as we exercised during gym class. It was mortifying!

    And I love anything Little Debbie!

  85. Ooooo, nutty bars. I loved breaking apart and eating layer after layer just to make it last that much longer!

  86. When my siblings and I were growing up, our absolute favorite thing to do over summer was to go over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. They had a pool (we didn’t, a fact I lamented constantly…and loudly…and probably very whine-ily), and my family would drive to G&G’s, jump straight into the pool, and play for hours.

    My Grandpa had a cup of pennies that he threw into the pool and we would dive and try to catch them before they hit the bottom. Grandma led us in “synchronized swimming” (mostly, she just made silly poses and we copied her). My mom “lifeguarded” from the side of the pool, and my dad jumped in and played “shark”, chasing me and my siblings around the pool pretending he was going to catch and “eat” us.

    As the afternoon wore on and it got colder, my sister and brother and I (with our eyesight blurry from the hours of chlorine exposure) wrapped ourselves in terrycloth robes that Grandma handsewed for us and collapsed into patio chairs. My Grandpa would bring out a plate of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls (which, actually, we called simply “Little Debbies” – for years afterward I believed this was their name), cut in half and still cold from the refrigerator. I always liked to peel them apart – first, eat off the outer layer of chocolate, then slowly unwrap the cake, eating it bit by bit until there was only a frosting covered, chocolate cake stick in my hand, which I then gobbled up.

    Those summer days at my grandparents’ house are some of my fondest childhood memories. Whenever I see Little Debbie Swiss Rolls sold individually I buy them, and remember my grandparents as I peel apart the frosted, chocolate layers and before gobbling them down.

    Thanks for this post. I miss my grandma and grandpa a lot and it’s always nice to think of them. :)

  87. 8th grade was when it actually got a little better, only because the mean girl who had tortured me for YEARS moved away. Other than the growth spurt that made every single pair of pants high waters, it wasn’t so bad.

  88. Eighth grade was pretty good because I got my first boyfriend then. Sixth was the bad one for me. I remember in gym, we were running the track and an eighth grade girl ran past me and said ” Hey, Julie – Say no to crack!” because my shorts were riding up between my legs.

    I love Little Debbies! Brownies and Oatmeal Cream Pies are my favorite. A staple of every college road trip.

  89. My roommate in pharmacy school was basically just an incredible rack on legs. She claimed that she owed her figure to a diet made of 98% Oatmeal Cream Pies and vodka.

    Needless to say, I was the wingman…

  90. i like food stuffs. (yum!)
    and i’m single. (feel sorry for me!)
    they’re probably related. (feel really sorry for me…)

  91. Honestly, I can remember few things worse – or that have left such a lingering impression on my psyche – than junior high.

    On the “bright” side… I am in my 30’s and still eating my feelings!

    Please help by sending me some 100 calorie therapy!!

  92. my mom would almost never buy junk food, and ooooohhhhhhh man do i love those peanut butter bars. sixth grade was my worst middle school year – i cruelly (and regretfully) ditched my best friend for the ‘cool’ crowd only to feel like i didn’t fit in there, and basically ended up feeling incredibly lonely and self-conscious for much of the year, including at lunch time. my mom always made my lunch, but sometimes i’d steal quarters from her purse so i could buy those peanut butter bars. lesson: if you’re lonely, little debbie makes everything better.

    i still love those peanut butter bars (among other things) and would welcome the opportunity to consume them in 100-calorie portions.

  93. Ooh, I love Little Debbie snacks. Please toss my name in your drawing. My worst day was not 8th grade, it was in7th when I was at cheer leading tryouts. There was a girl on the stage who had some writing on her shirt and I was near-sighted so I was squinting, trying to read what it said. She noticed me and leaped off that stage and started chasing me around the gym screaming “What you looking at, girl?!?” Thank goodness for my gymnast friend who stepped in to save my pee wee self. But that girl continued to torment me until I changed schools for 8th grade.

  94. 8th Grade: BAAAAAD Hair Year. Breakage from a straightend perm…need I say more?

    Nutty Bars especially when they go on sale at the local grocery store, you can’t beat that!

  95. A pigeon shat upon my head.

    It is not fun to walk into 8th grade algebra with runny white pigeon shit running down your face (because to have gone to the restroom to clean up would have meant a TARDY SLIP and detention – a further delay in washing my hair.)

    Mary got semen-mousse. I got pigeon.

  96. We never had Little Debbie in our house when i was a kid. But i still remember going next door to my friends house and eating theirs! :)

  97. At 8th grade graduation, I saw a large number of my classmates get recognized for outstanding grades and I just missed the cut. I was devastated.

    I learned my lesson and in high school and worked my ass off to stay at the top of my class.

    It was an important moment in my life: Me–not make the cut with my peers? I don’t think so!

    Call me ambitious or neurotic, but it worked.

    I love me some Little Debbies, too!

  98. My mom always had Little Debbie oatmeal pies for us when I was in grade school. I don’t think I’ve had one in 30 years but I can still remember exactly what they taste like. In 8th grade I allowed myself to eat only a bowl of jello cubes during school luch because I was terrified that I was fat and looking back I know I was no where near being fat. Jr. High can be a cruel, cruel world.

  99. I can’t remember what grade I was in, probably what they now call the tween-years. All I know is I was carrying a tampon in my sock – for safe keeping, of course – and as I’m walking down the hall to my next class, the knee sock slides down my to my ankle, and the tampon pops out and lands on my foot! And for the life of me, I couldn’t seem to get rid of it and was trying to walk and kick it at the same time far, far away from me…but the static had it stuck to me as if it was wrapped to my foot with duct tape! I quickly learned that a sock makes a poor substitute for a pocket book.

  100. OH MY GOSH – I am so having a “Little Debbie” type of week. Seriously – Seriously bad week.

    I have tried, believe me, I have tried comfort food. But I forgot about Little Debbies. They always help.

    I was only joking when I asked the cosmic universe last week what my third bad thing would be – and then, BAM! Yesterday at 4:48. BAD THING #3. I only refrain from typing it so as not to cry. Crying at work is another bad thing.

    So I need some serious Little Debbie-age.

  101. Well, there was that time of the month episode where I had to use a sweater tied around my waist to try to cover up the red stain on my yellow jeans. Didn’t really work. 8th grade was pretty sucky for me. Also, braces & bad hair.

    Anyway, I love Little Debbies, esp. the Oatmeal Creme Pies & Star Crunch. The 100 calorie packs would be perfect for my needs-to-lose-30-pounds body.

  102. My eighth grade is marked by my female friends getting together to tell me that I need to wear a bra EVERY DAY. Cause once “the girls” started to grow in 5th grade, they NEVER STOPPED!

    I started in 9th grade buying Nutty Bars from the vending machine, because I never had enough cash for the cafeteria. My family called them “Nutty Buddy Bars” cause there were two, one for me and one for my buddy. But I did not have any buddies in 9th grade. Very sad.

    Which brings us to present day, where I finished off an entire box of Nutty Bars in the last week (I alternate taking regular bites through all layers, and breaking off a chunk and eating one layer at a time. Two different tastes in one magnificent food!) I bought them for the guys that my fiance has over for gaming, thinking I would allow myself ONE, but I couldn’t help mself. I’m blaming it on extra-large PMS as I approached the last week of my Seasonique.

  103. Dude, your school nurse sucked. I swear ours kept a stash of old sweaters you could tie around your waist in that situation. Or maybe I just thought that would be a good idea, so I’m remembering it that way. Anyway, there should definitely be an annual middle school sweater drive mandated for just such emergencies.

    I’ve blocked out most of middle school, so all my humiliating stories are erased, but I did amass a small fortune in high school hoarding my lunch money and living off Little Debbie Star Crunch instead of real food at lunch. At 15 cents each, they were the cheapest thing in the cafeteria.

    And I’m not as old as that makes me sound.

  104. We didn’t have Little Debbie out here on the left coast when I was growing up.

    I’ve never had one. Not one. Not one single one of any one kind.

    Don’t you think it’s time I did?

  105. I literally remember nothing about 8th grade — or 7th or 9th for that matter. In fact, I seem to have blocked out most of my childhood (which tells ya something right there!) Nor do I have any Little Debbie memories. I wonder — if those had been available to me, would they have helped? My kids never had them either. (They profess to have had perfectly happy childhood, however :-) First time I remember seeing them around here (CA) was just a few years ago. Since that discovery however, I have more than made up for past deprivation. It may not be common knowledge, but a box of Nutty Bars, exactly fits under the driver’s side seat of a 1992 Oldsmobile station wagon! Swiss Cake Roll boxes, however, tend to get a little too smooshed. More’s the pity, since it’s nigh onto impossible to eat an entire box of Swiss Cake Rolls between the grocery store and my house…the operative understanding there being that “nigh onto” means “almost”. (Urp!)

  106. All my little Debbie memories are actually my friends memories. She was obsessed with sweets because her Mom didn’t allow them in her house, and so in middle school, when we got to buy whatever we wanted in the cafeteria for lunch she would buy 3 or 4 of those swiss cake rolls and methodically unroll and eat them. Hmm.. maybe our cafeteria should have put a limit on how many little debbie snacks you could purchase at once….

  107. Same kind of situation as you, only totally worse for a lot of reasons. One, it was me (not you). Two, I’m older than you which means I was using a pad that one had to attach to a little belt because no one had thought of using adhesive on bags. Three, I didn’t realize I’d bled through until I stood up and saw blood on the chair.

    Shouldn’t my mortification force you to hand over the Little Debbies? I’m not saying I should get all three sets, but for sure I should get one.

  108. I self-medicated with Nutty Bars until junior year when I started smoking. Debbie is a gateway drug.

    I think I must have repressed most of my 8th grade memories. I remember it being horrible, but the best I can remember is a mash up between first date drama, period angst and wardrobe malfunctions.

  109. My whole eighth grade YEAR was horrible. I didn’t know what name brands were. I thought that if my shirt had “No Fear” or “Mossimo” printed on it, then it was the real deal. (Even though they came from the Bargain Store). Needless to say, my tags were checked and I was an outcast. I am going to go sit in my closet now and eat some Li’l Debbies now, k?

  110. I think I have blocked 8th grade from my memory. Although I do have one tramatic story that I have not been able to purge. I was at a pool party for 4th of july. I had decided to get out of my swimsuit as it was wet and uncomfortable so I head off to the bathroom and not realizing anyone else was in there I fling open the door to my friend’s dad peeing. And you know when something is so shocking you can’t move, well that was me. I probally stood there for a full minute. I am sure it wasn’t that long but it felt like it was much longer. To this day I can not look at my friend’s father in the eye. It has been over 15 years.

  111. I think for all the good press Li’l Debbie is getting here, they could supply more than 3 packs of goodies!

  112. worst day of eighth grade? super easy…when i was walking down the hall and this boy called me “elephant legs”


  113. Eighth grade was reasonably quiet, but SIXTH grade I had the ISSUE on my chair at school, and I ate a box of Little Debbie Jelly Rolls every 3 days….

  114. I don’t have a great Little Debbie story, but I DO love Little Debbies. I absolutely love Zebra Cakes, I put mine in the freezer and eat them. Nobody looks for them in the freezer, so they stay hidden from other family members :)

  115. FUDGE BROWNIE!!!!
    Saved my sanity, what little there was, or is…
    when I found myself in the depths of divorce.
    (having found my husband in bed with a woman I had been friends with for 10 years)
    Thank you Little Debbie!

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