If you don’t love the Snow Puffs, I’ll shave my head and post questionable photos. (And that is not a promise!)

When I was in the eighth grade, I had a terrible day at school. (I actually had several terrible days, but one really stands out.) Without going into too much detail, let me just say this: I had to wear a raincoat throughout the day because I was dealing with teenage girl issues and didn’t have much backup and now you know exactly what I’m talking about, and it was hot outside, so I was all sweaty and smelly in my raincoat and people kept asking why I was wearing a raincoat when it had stopped raining three hours ago and “The sun is out! It’s too hot for a jacket! We’re running laps in PE, and you’re still wearing a raincoat?! What’s that smell? Why are you crying?!”

When I got home from school that day, I remember changing clothes and going into the kitchen to find something to eat. My mom had been to the store earlier that day, and she had bought those Star Crunch cookie things. I sat on the floor and ate four of them, and my world was suddenly bright again. (You know, until the next day when so-and-so didn’t look at me the right way (or not at all) and I missed a word on my spelling test or whatever. Ugh, eighth grade.)

Shortly after I met Jeff he told me that his mom used to stock the house with Oatmeal Pies, and that he would often come home from school and eat a number of them just to forget about the day.

(We are soul mates.)

Anyway, Little Debbie has now come out with a line of one hundred calorie snacks and they sent some to me a few weeks back, because they saw me exercising through the window and wanted to provide some healthy snacks as I attack Project Pudding Pounddown 2009.

Because I love you and today is day worthy of a huge celebration that includes free cake (even if you’re terribly self-conscious and wearing a raincoat), I’m giving out a big box of the Little Debbie 100 Calorie Snacks to three lucky people. In this box, you’ll receive the following (listed in my order of preference) Snow Puffs, Nutty Bars, Marshmallow Treats, Whole Wheat Wafer Nutty Bars, Yellow Cakes, Chocolate Cakes, Triple Fudge Brownies, and Gingerbread Cookies. (Descriptions and photos are here.)

Just leave a comment below and tell me your favorite Little Debbie memory. OR, tell me about your most horrific day in the eighth grade. Or, tell me nothing. I’ll still put your name in the drawing, because I’m cool like that.

Names will be drawn on Friday morning after I wake up and enjoy an egg or two.

EDITED TO ADD: Thanks SO much to everyone for the stories! I wish I could send Little Debbies to each and every one of you! All winners have been notified. If any of them change their mind, I’ll draw more names! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

122 thoughts on “If you don’t love the Snow Puffs, I’ll shave my head and post questionable photos. (And that is not a promise!)”

  1. My worst day of 8th grade had to be the day when my English teacher, whose class I had right after gym, arranged to have the nurse call my mom to tell her I had a BO problem. My mom didn’t just discreetly get me some new deodorant, though – she told me EXACTLY what happened… and they still made me go back to school…

  2. Dang! Who knew Little Debbies and 8th grade memories were the key to vocalizing the silent masses?!

    My neighbor and I (i may have been in 8th grade although i’d like to think i was younger) decided to create a New Year’s tradition in which we stuffed our faces with Little Debbie oatmeal pies while throwing boulders up in the air at the turning of the New Year. (not to be an a$$ and pimp myself but i blogged about it recently) Clearly, I was a child in dire need of a life, a good dentist, and a helmet.

  3. Junior High (7 & 8th grade) were actually quite lovely.

    Ok, there was one major blow-out feminine issues day, but a trip to the nurse and I was sent home and la-dee-da.

    There was also much awkwardness around one boy from day one of 7th until the very last week of 8th. Then he asked me to let him cheat off my homework and I refused and he said he’d never go out with me then. And I was suddenly completely over him.

    Now, 9th & 10th grade, oy. Let’s see: catty friends that decided I was “it” and made up code names for me so they could viciously talk about me right in front of me (which, duh, I figured out pretty quickly). Having them pull my new friends aside to point out how “annoying” I was. Being the only one in my group that didn’t advance to the symphonic band that year (there were already 2 upperclassmen bassoonists so I had to stay at the concert level) so I was left with no one to eat with. There was a snack stand in our cafeteria which sold Little Debbies. Starcrunches were my only friends some days. (Gah, that’s pathetic but true)

  4. Oh, Oatmeal Pies, how I love thee.

    My main memory of 8th Grade is losing a contact lens the DAY AFTER I got contacts. So, I remember searching the hallway floor for it. We found it, by the way.

  5. I was a late bloomer so I simply didn’t understand why my best friend was crying over a stain on the back of her pants. She was tying her coat around her waist and begging to go home. All the while, I was like, “Seriously – you sat in mud. Who cares?” Because you know, most people seek out mud puddles when looking for a place to sit. So young. So naive. Now please let me when!

  6. When I was in high school I was a “Royalette”, which was the dance squad. And please do not ever call us cheerleaders. Anyway we practiced before school, but always had a few minuted for breakfast after practice. I ALWAYS had an oatmeal pie and a mountain dew…for breakfast. No wonder I fell asleep in class about an hour later every day.

  7. The first time I gave blood, the snack afterwards was a Little Debbie oatmeal pie. Then I found out I have a relatively rare type of blood, so they actually WANTED me to give as often as I could — talk about win/win!

  8. I don’t have room in my brain for such memories but I think that the first Little Debbie I had was an Oatmeal Pie. I loved them and still do.

  9. My most horrific day in 8th grade was sadly the day I forgot to wear deodorant. I remember the outfit I had on (jeans, white WWF Divas t-shirt, pleather jacket that kept shedding all over the shirt) and the plan was that I was going to look HOT. You know, like you do when you’re in 8th grade and you’re heavily overweight? Yeah. So that was the plan! Except it was hot and I was sweating, but I couldn’t take off my pleather jacket because I totally smelled, and then I was sweating even more and making it worse, and ughghglsdkh. I think, in the end, I found my gym bag in my locker and put on some emergency deodorant, but that might be wishful thinking!

  10. since we’re once again talking about visits from aunt flo… i think my worst day of 8th grade happened more than once when my severe cramps made me puke and pretend it wasn’t girl parts related when i sheepishly lurched to the nurse’s office. on one particular day, i had only managed to eat purple laffy taffy’s so i threw up purple taffy in full view of my classmates. that was fun. i probably hit someone’s z cavaricci jacket.

  11. oh and I really cannot decide what is may favorite little debbie. I used to slowly peel the chocolate shell off swiss cake rolls and eat the pieces in chocolate shakes in the high school cafeteria (i wonder if they still let you subsist on junk food for lunch or if they’ve phased that out). but, i also love nutty bars and star crunches. oh, and those apple crumb cakes. great, now i’m hungry.

  12. actually, eighth grade was fine — it was seventh grade that sucked, and I have BLOCKED ALL MEMORIES of that year

    seriously

    mmm… nutty bars

  13. I don’t have a story about 8th grade, but I have a great one about 5th. We were taking the state standarized tests and our teacher said that under no circumstances could we leave the room. Well, I had to use the restroom really badly and I was about to get up and go ask for a hall pass….yeah, didn’t quite make it and peed all over myself and all of books that were under my desk. Awesome. Still haven’t recovered from that one and it’s been 21 years.

    Now, on to Little Debbie…Nutty Bars were my Grandpa’s favorite snack and he always had a jar filled with them. My parents divorced when I was 4, so I didn’t get to see Grandpa as often as I liked, but when I did our big thing was a tall glass of milk and a nutty bar. I can’t have them as often as I did back then, but when I do it takes me back to one of the happiest times of my childhood.

  14. man I wish I had known you in 8th grade … it would have made me so much cooler by comparison!! LOL (haha, kidding)
    I don’t know that I have any really great Little Debbie stories, but it does drive my husband nuts to watch me eat a Swiss Cake Roll. I like to eat the chocolate off the outside, then the cake, licking off the cream. Coincidentally, it drives my husband nuts to watch me eat most things … I can be a bit neurotic. KitKats are fun

  15. Love Little Debbies, Swiss cake rolls are my favorite.

    I remember you in 8th grade, that being said, you remember me too. 8th grade was hard.

  16. My mom didn’t allow us to have those kinds of snacks when I was little and I’ve blocked out most of my memories of childhood so I’m just going to leave this comment.

  17. 8th grade? You are so lucky you missed most of the junior high angst with having to deal with ‘your friend’…..mine was 5th grade. URGGGGGG.

  18. I need some Snow Puffs. My entire childhood was completely devoid of Little Debbie. Really. I need to make up for lost time.

  19. Oh Little Debbie, the joy you have brought into my life in incalculable. I ate them all through my formative years – oatmeal creme pies and nutty bars – and I’d share a story from then but I’ve blocked out all the truly horrific ones I think.

    I do remember eating them A LOT in college though. Whenever life was a little too much – exams, boy trouble, bad grades, bad friends – I would make a 2 am run to Walmart (don’t judge! I was poor and they were open) for some Little Debbies. Also, oatmeal creme pies are the best hangover food of all time.

  20. I too had a feminine issue in 8th grade. Luckily it was at the end of the day and my “backpack” was one of those giant ESPRIT bags which was wide enough to cover my bum, but it was one uncomfortable bus ride home. Me perched on the very edge of the bus seat while my friend who was sitting with me was staring at me all crazy, repeating “what’s wrong with you” the whole way home. I keep hearing the one person who saw the disaster before I properly positioned the ESPRIT bag, haunting me in my dreams: “Did you sit in chocolate?” Er…

    My dad and I used to eat Oatmeal Pies together back in the day. I also loved eating the Swiss Cake Rolls, peeling off the outside chocolate and then unrolling the roll. YUM!

  21. My mom kept the bread drawer stuffed with Little Debbie snacks too! Star Crunches, Oatmeal Pies, Swiss Rolls… I’m going into sugar shock just thinking about them.

    One time I saw she’d bought an extra box of the Oatmeal Pies. Two! BOXES! of Oatmeal Pies! So my little brother and I decided that we should hide them away somewhere, for our own secret stash.

    Problem was we hid them so well, we forgot about them.

    Flash forward months, and months, and months later, to when our dad found them. I seriously don’t even know how long it had been.

    We watched him pull the box out, and had trouble distinguishing what it may once have been. The box was warped, covered in dust, and even though they were individually sealed, moisture had gotten into the box and the handful on top had begun to moulder.

    When Dad opened the box, realization dawned and passed between the look I exchanged with my brother. It didn’t take our dad long to figure out what happened. Guilt was written on both of our faces as though with a permanent marker.

    Because we hid them, behind the toilet.

  22. Ahhh…..eighth grade. Walking thru the mall with the boy I was “going with”. This mall had trees growing at various points inside that were surrounded by 5ft. diameter grates. Presumably for watering purposes. Anyway, Jr. High boyfriend and I were walking along when suddenly I find myself face-first skidding along the mall floor after having caught my foot in a tree grate. Imagine the 8th grade horror! I need to go find some Little Debbie snackcakes to calm the humiliation even when I think about it now.

  23. 8th grade was pretty bad. Not as bad as 6th (during which my entire class- only 5 people but still- ganged up on me and threw rocks at my head) but still pretty craptastic. In 8th grade I was in Catholic school because my parents thought it would make me behave better (it didn’t), I had my first boyfriend, my first real boyfrienderly kiss, a horrible fight with my best friend, and really bad hair. Those were the days.

  24. I conveniently blotted out eighth grade from my mind. Oh wait, I think it was the grade I skipped. Oh well, 7th and 9th were no better (still in junior high at that point). Pounddown sounds like a great idea, so send those Little Debbie’s along!

  25. My most horrific day was in 8th grade, just before graduation. Since there was no classwork to do, the 8th grade class was outside on the playground. Half the class was playing softball, and the other half were lounging around on the sides or in the grass. I was one of those sitting in the grass with a group of friends.

    We were busy talking about all sorts of things, until it came time to go inside and practice for the graduation ceremony. As we all got up and dusted ourselves off, brushed off our pants, someone noticed a particularly unpleasant odor. Hmm. What could that be, you ask? Dog poo, of course. Yuck! We had been sitting too close to it.

    Oh, wait a minute. We weren’t just sitting too close to it, *I* was sitting ON it. Everyone (except me, of course) thought this was hysterically funny. And the dog poo was right on my butt, the side that would be FACING the audience as I walked across the stage to practice receiving my diploma for graduation.

    I went to the school office to beg and plead to be able to go home and change clothes. I lived one – only one! – house away from the school, and they would not let me go home to change pants. “School policy” and all. Apparently, dying of embarrasment is not considered a good enough reason to be allowed to go home and change clothes. I had to go in the bathroom and try to clean it off with toilet paper. You can probably imagine how well that went.

    So, I had to walk across the stage in front of the entire 7th and 8th grade classes, with dog poo on my butt (they let the 7th graders watch for fun — Oh, goody, more people to watch). I have never wished to disappear more in my entire life. What a way to end your elementary school years. Like the commercial says – Yay, Memories!

  26. One time, though it’s hard to admit and makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it, I ate an entire box of Nutty Bars in one day! Sadly, I cannot attribute it to teenage angst as I was a full-on adult. Good times. 5,000 calorie good times.

  27. PS – Nearly every day of the 8th grade (and 7th, and 9th, and 10th, and… well, you get the idea) was horrific. I’m surprised I survived at all. Come to think of it, maybe teenage angst did play a small part in my overconsumption of Nutty Bars later in life!

  28. Eight grade. Nope, not going there. Far too painful. Memories repressed.

    But Little Debbie…mmmmmmmmmmmm. And I never even tasted one until I was in college.

  29. It was 1978 or 1979–my mom had recently left my father and moved us 6 hours to update new york (us being, my 5 year old self and my 1 year old twin sisters). You should cue the soundtrack for “i am woman, hear me roar” sort of thing. anyway, i have a vivid memory of riding in the front seat of my mom’s blue saab (no seat belt laws etc. back then) and this BIG Little Debbie Truck drives by. And my 5 year old self was crazy about little debbies-so I roll down my window, cranking the handle as fast as i can and start screaming, “throw me some debbies, throw me some debbies!” and the twins are going crazy in their carseats in the backseat adding their voices to the chant of “little debbies”. The truck driver gave us a smile and honked his horn at us, but alas, did not throw us any debbies. So somehow, little debbies is associated with female empowerment to me. Weird, right?!

  30. Little Debbie didn’t exist where I grew up. Could be because my crunchy mom only shopped at the health food store and left us in the car when she shopped at Safeway. I’ve eaten more pita bread than I care to remember.

    Wah.

  31. I apparently have blocked out all of the 8th grade, but when I was a freshman in high school we had a pep rally for homecoming with the entire school in attendance. Several people from each sports team, including me, were selected to participate in a “caterpillar race”. Each person crawled inside a sleeping bag face first and then had to worm their way across the gym floor to the finish line. When I finished and was getting out the bag, my untucked shirt stuck to the sleeping bag and I flashed the entire school. Good thing I decided to wear a bra that day – something I sometimes didn’t wear given my flat chestedness. Good times.

  32. Swiss Cake Rolls. Sneaking out of my parents house with the neighbor’s kids and going to the gas station to buy junk food, instead of beer and cigarettes. Wow, we were such rebels.

  33. without a doubt, the nutty bars and the oatmeal cakes. my parents were tyrants who didn’t believe in having any junk food in the house. thank god my grandparents did not espouse the same belief. i can still remember the glorious snack drawer at their house ….. always loaded with little debbie treats, ready and available for the binge-eating.

  34. If it weren’t for Little Debbie & her treats I never would have made it through my first pregnancy. Imagine if you will a newly married 20 year old – working 2 part time jobs while attending college nearly full time – married to a guy going to school full time and working full time – living in my parents basement. You too would’ve capped off every day you could with Debbie & her delights. And it only took me 12 years to lose that baby weight!

  35. I can’t even think of 8th grade without shuddering.

    The worst day of my 8th grade life was when my best friend gave me back her half of our best friend charm (you know, the one shaped like a heart that you broke down the middle so there was one half for each girl). It was all super-dramatic. I spent the day crying in my English teacher’s classroom.

    I was that miserable until I went to college.

  36. I’m with everyone else on the horrid Jr high experience. I think I’ll homeschool my girls those years. Seriously. That being the case, we could ALL use a case of Little Debbies to share.

  37. In eighth grade I was a nerd, but I took the bus from the poor houses to the nice rich school with the other not so rich kids. On the bus I met another nerd. I sat next to him. Then one day I kissed him. I never sat next to him again. Ah eighth grade!

  38. Our eighth grade gym teacher actually has us chant, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!” as we exercised during gym class. It was mortifying!

    And I love anything Little Debbie!

  39. Ooooo, nutty bars. I loved breaking apart and eating layer after layer just to make it last that much longer!

  40. When my siblings and I were growing up, our absolute favorite thing to do over summer was to go over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. They had a pool (we didn’t, a fact I lamented constantly…and loudly…and probably very whine-ily), and my family would drive to G&G’s, jump straight into the pool, and play for hours.

    My Grandpa had a cup of pennies that he threw into the pool and we would dive and try to catch them before they hit the bottom. Grandma led us in “synchronized swimming” (mostly, she just made silly poses and we copied her). My mom “lifeguarded” from the side of the pool, and my dad jumped in and played “shark”, chasing me and my siblings around the pool pretending he was going to catch and “eat” us.

    As the afternoon wore on and it got colder, my sister and brother and I (with our eyesight blurry from the hours of chlorine exposure) wrapped ourselves in terrycloth robes that Grandma handsewed for us and collapsed into patio chairs. My Grandpa would bring out a plate of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls (which, actually, we called simply “Little Debbies” – for years afterward I believed this was their name), cut in half and still cold from the refrigerator. I always liked to peel them apart – first, eat off the outer layer of chocolate, then slowly unwrap the cake, eating it bit by bit until there was only a frosting covered, chocolate cake stick in my hand, which I then gobbled up.

    Those summer days at my grandparents’ house are some of my fondest childhood memories. Whenever I see Little Debbie Swiss Rolls sold individually I buy them, and remember my grandparents as I peel apart the frosted, chocolate layers and before gobbling them down.

    Thanks for this post. I miss my grandma and grandpa a lot and it’s always nice to think of them. :)

  41. 8th grade was when it actually got a little better, only because the mean girl who had tortured me for YEARS moved away. Other than the growth spurt that made every single pair of pants high waters, it wasn’t so bad.

  42. Eighth grade was pretty good because I got my first boyfriend then. Sixth was the bad one for me. I remember in gym, we were running the track and an eighth grade girl ran past me and said ” Hey, Julie – Say no to crack!” because my shorts were riding up between my legs.

    I love Little Debbies! Brownies and Oatmeal Cream Pies are my favorite. A staple of every college road trip.

  43. My roommate in pharmacy school was basically just an incredible rack on legs. She claimed that she owed her figure to a diet made of 98% Oatmeal Cream Pies and vodka.

    Needless to say, I was the wingman…

  44. i like food stuffs. (yum!)
    and i’m single. (feel sorry for me!)
    they’re probably related. (feel really sorry for me…)

  45. Honestly, I can remember few things worse – or that have left such a lingering impression on my psyche – than junior high.

    On the “bright” side… I am in my 30’s and still eating my feelings!

    Please help by sending me some 100 calorie therapy!!

  46. my mom would almost never buy junk food, and ooooohhhhhhh man do i love those peanut butter bars. sixth grade was my worst middle school year – i cruelly (and regretfully) ditched my best friend for the ‘cool’ crowd only to feel like i didn’t fit in there, and basically ended up feeling incredibly lonely and self-conscious for much of the year, including at lunch time. my mom always made my lunch, but sometimes i’d steal quarters from her purse so i could buy those peanut butter bars. lesson: if you’re lonely, little debbie makes everything better.

    i still love those peanut butter bars (among other things) and would welcome the opportunity to consume them in 100-calorie portions.

  47. Ooh, I love Little Debbie snacks. Please toss my name in your drawing. My worst day was not 8th grade, it was in7th when I was at cheer leading tryouts. There was a girl on the stage who had some writing on her shirt and I was near-sighted so I was squinting, trying to read what it said. She noticed me and leaped off that stage and started chasing me around the gym screaming “What you looking at, girl?!?” Thank goodness for my gymnast friend who stepped in to save my pee wee self. But that girl continued to torment me until I changed schools for 8th grade.

  48. 8th Grade: BAAAAAD Hair Year. Breakage from a straightend perm…need I say more?

    Nutty Bars especially when they go on sale at the local grocery store, you can’t beat that!

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