If you don’t love the Snow Puffs, I’ll shave my head and post questionable photos. (And that is not a promise!)

When I was in the eighth grade, I had a terrible day at school. (I actually had several terrible days, but one really stands out.) Without going into too much detail, let me just say this: I had to wear a raincoat throughout the day because I was dealing with teenage girl issues and didn’t have much backup and now you know exactly what I’m talking about, and it was hot outside, so I was all sweaty and smelly in my raincoat and people kept asking why I was wearing a raincoat when it had stopped raining three hours ago and “The sun is out! It’s too hot for a jacket! We’re running laps in PE, and you’re still wearing a raincoat?! What’s that smell? Why are you crying?!”

When I got home from school that day, I remember changing clothes and going into the kitchen to find something to eat. My mom had been to the store earlier that day, and she had bought those Star Crunch cookie things. I sat on the floor and ate four of them, and my world was suddenly bright again. (You know, until the next day when so-and-so didn’t look at me the right way (or not at all) and I missed a word on my spelling test or whatever. Ugh, eighth grade.)

Shortly after I met Jeff he told me that his mom used to stock the house with Oatmeal Pies, and that he would often come home from school and eat a number of them just to forget about the day.

(We are soul mates.)

Anyway, Little Debbie has now come out with a line of one hundred calorie snacks and they sent some to me a few weeks back, because they saw me exercising through the window and wanted to provide some healthy snacks as I attack Project Pudding Pounddown 2009.

Because I love you and today is day worthy of a huge celebration that includes free cake (even if you’re terribly self-conscious and wearing a raincoat), I’m giving out a big box of the Little Debbie 100 Calorie Snacks to three lucky people. In this box, you’ll receive the following (listed in my order of preference) Snow Puffs, Nutty Bars, Marshmallow Treats, Whole Wheat Wafer Nutty Bars, Yellow Cakes, Chocolate Cakes, Triple Fudge Brownies, and Gingerbread Cookies. (Descriptions and photos are here.)

Just leave a comment below and tell me your favorite Little Debbie memory. OR, tell me about your most horrific day in the eighth grade. Or, tell me nothing. I’ll still put your name in the drawing, because I’m cool like that.

Names will be drawn on Friday morning after I wake up and enjoy an egg or two.

EDITED TO ADD: Thanks SO much to everyone for the stories! I wish I could send Little Debbies to each and every one of you! All winners have been notified. If any of them change their mind, I’ll draw more names! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

122 thoughts on “If you don’t love the Snow Puffs, I’ll shave my head and post questionable photos. (And that is not a promise!)”

  1. A pigeon shat upon my head.

    It is not fun to walk into 8th grade algebra with runny white pigeon shit running down your face (because to have gone to the restroom to clean up would have meant a TARDY SLIP and detention – a further delay in washing my hair.)

    Mary got semen-mousse. I got pigeon.

  2. We never had Little Debbie in our house when i was a kid. But i still remember going next door to my friends house and eating theirs! :)

  3. At 8th grade graduation, I saw a large number of my classmates get recognized for outstanding grades and I just missed the cut. I was devastated.

    I learned my lesson and in high school and worked my ass off to stay at the top of my class.

    It was an important moment in my life: Me–not make the cut with my peers? I don’t think so!

    Call me ambitious or neurotic, but it worked.

    I love me some Little Debbies, too!

  4. My mom always had Little Debbie oatmeal pies for us when I was in grade school. I don’t think I’ve had one in 30 years but I can still remember exactly what they taste like. In 8th grade I allowed myself to eat only a bowl of jello cubes during school luch because I was terrified that I was fat and looking back I know I was no where near being fat. Jr. High can be a cruel, cruel world.

  5. I can’t remember what grade I was in, probably what they now call the tween-years. All I know is I was carrying a tampon in my sock – for safe keeping, of course – and as I’m walking down the hall to my next class, the knee sock slides down my to my ankle, and the tampon pops out and lands on my foot! And for the life of me, I couldn’t seem to get rid of it and was trying to walk and kick it at the same time far, far away from me…but the static had it stuck to me as if it was wrapped to my foot with duct tape! I quickly learned that a sock makes a poor substitute for a pocket book.

  6. OH MY GOSH – I am so having a “Little Debbie” type of week. Seriously – Seriously bad week.

    I have tried, believe me, I have tried comfort food. But I forgot about Little Debbies. They always help.

    I was only joking when I asked the cosmic universe last week what my third bad thing would be – and then, BAM! Yesterday at 4:48. BAD THING #3. I only refrain from typing it so as not to cry. Crying at work is another bad thing.

    So I need some serious Little Debbie-age.

  7. Well, there was that time of the month episode where I had to use a sweater tied around my waist to try to cover up the red stain on my yellow jeans. Didn’t really work. 8th grade was pretty sucky for me. Also, braces & bad hair.

    Anyway, I love Little Debbies, esp. the Oatmeal Creme Pies & Star Crunch. The 100 calorie packs would be perfect for my needs-to-lose-30-pounds body.

  8. My eighth grade is marked by my female friends getting together to tell me that I need to wear a bra EVERY DAY. Cause once “the girls” started to grow in 5th grade, they NEVER STOPPED!

    I started in 9th grade buying Nutty Bars from the vending machine, because I never had enough cash for the cafeteria. My family called them “Nutty Buddy Bars” cause there were two, one for me and one for my buddy. But I did not have any buddies in 9th grade. Very sad.

    Which brings us to present day, where I finished off an entire box of Nutty Bars in the last week (I alternate taking regular bites through all layers, and breaking off a chunk and eating one layer at a time. Two different tastes in one magnificent food!) I bought them for the guys that my fiance has over for gaming, thinking I would allow myself ONE, but I couldn’t help mself. I’m blaming it on extra-large PMS as I approached the last week of my Seasonique.

  9. Dude, your school nurse sucked. I swear ours kept a stash of old sweaters you could tie around your waist in that situation. Or maybe I just thought that would be a good idea, so I’m remembering it that way. Anyway, there should definitely be an annual middle school sweater drive mandated for just such emergencies.

    I’ve blocked out most of middle school, so all my humiliating stories are erased, but I did amass a small fortune in high school hoarding my lunch money and living off Little Debbie Star Crunch instead of real food at lunch. At 15 cents each, they were the cheapest thing in the cafeteria.

    And I’m not as old as that makes me sound.

  10. We didn’t have Little Debbie out here on the left coast when I was growing up.

    I’ve never had one. Not one. Not one single one of any one kind.

    Don’t you think it’s time I did?

  11. I literally remember nothing about 8th grade — or 7th or 9th for that matter. In fact, I seem to have blocked out most of my childhood (which tells ya something right there!) Nor do I have any Little Debbie memories. I wonder — if those had been available to me, would they have helped? My kids never had them either. (They profess to have had perfectly happy childhood, however :-) First time I remember seeing them around here (CA) was just a few years ago. Since that discovery however, I have more than made up for past deprivation. It may not be common knowledge, but a box of Nutty Bars, exactly fits under the driver’s side seat of a 1992 Oldsmobile station wagon! Swiss Cake Roll boxes, however, tend to get a little too smooshed. More’s the pity, since it’s nigh onto impossible to eat an entire box of Swiss Cake Rolls between the grocery store and my house…the operative understanding there being that “nigh onto” means “almost”. (Urp!)

  12. All my little Debbie memories are actually my friends memories. She was obsessed with sweets because her Mom didn’t allow them in her house, and so in middle school, when we got to buy whatever we wanted in the cafeteria for lunch she would buy 3 or 4 of those swiss cake rolls and methodically unroll and eat them. Hmm.. maybe our cafeteria should have put a limit on how many little debbie snacks you could purchase at once….

  13. Same kind of situation as you, only totally worse for a lot of reasons. One, it was me (not you). Two, I’m older than you which means I was using a pad that one had to attach to a little belt because no one had thought of using adhesive on bags. Three, I didn’t realize I’d bled through until I stood up and saw blood on the chair.

    Shouldn’t my mortification force you to hand over the Little Debbies? I’m not saying I should get all three sets, but for sure I should get one.

  14. I self-medicated with Nutty Bars until junior year when I started smoking. Debbie is a gateway drug.

    I think I must have repressed most of my 8th grade memories. I remember it being horrible, but the best I can remember is a mash up between first date drama, period angst and wardrobe malfunctions.

  15. My whole eighth grade YEAR was horrible. I didn’t know what name brands were. I thought that if my shirt had “No Fear” or “Mossimo” printed on it, then it was the real deal. (Even though they came from the Bargain Store). Needless to say, my tags were checked and I was an outcast. I am going to go sit in my closet now and eat some Li’l Debbies now, k?

  16. I think I have blocked 8th grade from my memory. Although I do have one tramatic story that I have not been able to purge. I was at a pool party for 4th of july. I had decided to get out of my swimsuit as it was wet and uncomfortable so I head off to the bathroom and not realizing anyone else was in there I fling open the door to my friend’s dad peeing. And you know when something is so shocking you can’t move, well that was me. I probally stood there for a full minute. I am sure it wasn’t that long but it felt like it was much longer. To this day I can not look at my friend’s father in the eye. It has been over 15 years.

  17. I think for all the good press Li’l Debbie is getting here, they could supply more than 3 packs of goodies!

  18. worst day of eighth grade? super easy…when i was walking down the hall and this boy called me “elephant legs”


  19. Eighth grade was reasonably quiet, but SIXTH grade I had the ISSUE on my chair at school, and I ate a box of Little Debbie Jelly Rolls every 3 days….

  20. I don’t have a great Little Debbie story, but I DO love Little Debbies. I absolutely love Zebra Cakes, I put mine in the freezer and eat them. Nobody looks for them in the freezer, so they stay hidden from other family members :)

    Saved my sanity, what little there was, or is…
    when I found myself in the depths of divorce.
    (having found my husband in bed with a woman I had been friends with for 10 years)
    Thank you Little Debbie!

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