It’s like buying a brand new notebook and spiffy pen!

I suppose it’s a bit silly how I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar-ish I get after completing a seemingly piece of cake act like updating software. Suddenly, I’m wearing new underpants, and I feel like sitting here and writing all day. ($40 says I could have you sleeping by noon.)

After spending entirely too much money in Chicago (On YARN! My sister thinks I’m batty!), I took on a few reviews this week. SO, you’ll see those in the next week or so if you’re interested. (I was able to shoot a video of my kids eating spinach, and my house now smells autumnal and fresh. So there you go.)

What? You want to know what I’ll be knitting in the next several months? Let’s start with This Exact Shawl. It was hanging up in the very first booth we entered last weekend, and it didn’t really appeal to me until I was asked to try it on. (I’m still not sure how that happened. I was sort of drunk on silk at the time, and would have probably done just about anything asked of me. Luckily, I kept my skirt on.) Anyway, I tried on the shawl, and the angels started singing and I cried for three hours to release all of my toxins and ugliness and then I sang love songs to everyone in the convention center (Neil Diamond has nothing on me!), and right before I asked if I could go on a hugging spree, the woman removed the shawl and placed the pattern and yarn into a bag.

I’m currently this far in the game:
Waves in the Square

And that’s really not far at all, being that I have visions of curling up in this thing on Christmas morning as I sip coffee, listen to Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis, and wait for everyone to wake up. (It’s a personal tradition, give or take the hooker.)

I also bought the kit to make a sweater that is not a sweater. (Once again with the treachery of images!) It’s not a Sweater, it’s a stinking work of art. And I’m not going to link to it here, because you’ll look at the photograph and say, “Hhhmmmm. Time to put on a quilted Americana vest and stuff yourself with a big stupid piece of pie, Pudding!” I am going to keep you in suspense. (Only five people are still reading at this point. Does the knitting talk bore you?) Here’s a bone (I really hate that phrase, by the way): I just corresponded with the woman who is sending the kit to me. She told me the yarn has been back-ordered from Italy, and I firmly believe that adds to the allure. Because now the sweater is like a work of ITALIAN art, meaning Michelangelo and I could probably make out for awhile over coffee and tiramisu. (Tempe? Back me up. The sweater sort of resembles the Sistine Chapel ceiling, no?)

Abrupt change of topic! Tonight is our neighborhood party. More often than not, the party ends early for me when Harper either falls down, or simply decides she would rather sit on a couch in our family room and watch the party through the window than participate in it. (How do you raise your kids to be social creatures when you are most definitely NOT a social creature? Xanax and pumpkin beer? I try my best, and then I go to bed and blame it all on my DNA.)

A few of you have e-mailed to ask what I’m doing to combat the IBS madness. Currently? I’m drinking coffee sprinkled with Benefiber, because I’m your mother. (And to the few who sent e-mails asking me to take down my colon photos? I’m not taking down my colon photos. My colon is my loveable serpentine baby that will (hopefully) always remain inside of me. He deserves his time in the sun, where Sun=Fluid Pudding Front Page.)

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22 thoughts on “It’s like buying a brand new notebook and spiffy pen!”

  1. I get your yen for yarn, though for me is has been counted cross-stitch on fine linen. I just spent $100 framing my version of this one: I have this one done and need to frame: and I decided I needed a new project, so spent another $100 kitting out for this one:

    I am too afraid to pick up a new addiction — I mean hobby– like knitting, though I love the idea of wearing what I make. Good luck!

  2. DUDE. Every year our block has a party for the 4th of July. There’s a cul-de-sac across from our house and they do fireworks there when it gets dark. EVERY YEAR the girl child has refused to participate, insisting that DH set off fireworks in our driveway instead. Our driveway, which is like 20 feet from the cul-de-sac where the OTHER fireworks are happening. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? I have no idea.

    Our boy child, on the other hand, stays home from the party proper, preferring instead to play video games at our house (which is 20 feet away from the party, remember) while everyone else swims and eats and mingles. He ONLY comes out for the fireworks and is an enthusiastic participant in those.

    In conclusion: kids are weird.

  3. The shawl is gorgeous!

    Knitting posts do not bore me. Your knitting is like my gardening and canning. As my son would say, “whatever floats your boat, mom”.

    I hope you have a great time at your neighborhood party, you party animal you!

  4. Way to go, YOU! Updating software! Applause! Applause!

    Now, pass the Benefiber. What a brilliant idea. Add it to my coffee! I love you.

  5. The shawl sounds great. I’m envious. Except that I can’t be tossed knitting a shawl, and I tried a soft grey one on yesterday when I was cold and in a shop and looked like I should be queueing outside a shelter.

  6. The pattern was so amazing that I am still twitching. I will secretly steal it from you to gaze at fondly.

    Not sure about the back-ordered thing, though. Did she give an estimate?

  7. Yay for you! You really don’t give yourself enough credit. You have more talent in one pinky than I have, at all. I bet your colon is more sparkly, too!

  8. Is it just me, or does the above photo of the start of your super cool shawl resemble the picture of your colon, minus the glazed donut sheen?

  9. Must. Have. Shawl. And that specific color too, I am just loving the pink goodness. I am now searching for where I can buy it.

    Also: “glazed donut sheen”? FUNNY.

  10. Shawl = gorgeous!

    I am currently coveting large gray knitted cowls on Etsy (I NEED one, right? I can wear it with everything this winter, right? Just the idea of them makes me want to drive to Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte (with only two flavor pumps, please).)

    My neighborhood has no parties. It’s not that kind of neighborhood, I guess. We plan to move in a few years when the boys start kindergarten… maybe that neighborhood will have parties?

    And finally – congratulations on your upgrade! I am right there with you on the software terror. It is people like me that keep Geek Squads in business.

  11. I love the knitting talk. I am a very lax knitter at the best of times, but the fall brings out the yarn bug. Well, the weather and the Taos Wool Festival (1st weekend in October).

    As for the anti-social stuff, I’d say sign them up for more group sports. And maybe plan group events that do not have proximity to the house, so they are forced to at least hang. There is probably some fun way of getting them more involved. Being in charge of passing hors d’oeurves at a party (and describing what it is) or taking drink orders for the bartender might work. Or you could give them a BINGO card with things on it (someone born in your city, someone born in another country, someone who is an only child, someone who loves chocolate ice cream, someone who loves to ride a bike, whatever) that would force them to talk to people in order to complete/win. Maybe they’d get something fun as a treat.

  12. I personally love the knitting entries! And I can’t wait to see this art sweater!! Are you on Ravelry so that I can cheat and look at your queue?

  13. I love your knitting updates – but I feel like I’m missing out here. Can you email me the link to the sweater that is not a sweater? The curiosity is killing me!

  14. I personally love the knitting entries! And I can’t wait to see this art sweater!! Are you on Ravelry so that I can cheat and look at your queue?

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