All I wanted was to dance to a Milli Vanilli tune. Thwarted again.

As you know, I went to my high school reunion last year. As a result, I’m now once again in touch with all of my favorites from high school (via Facebook, of course). Actually, I take that back. I’m in touch with my favorites who are actually on Facebook. I’m still looking for this guy and the guy in the crop top. If you know where they are, please let me know. Also, does anyone have an update on W. Warden? Okay then.

Jeff’s reunion is coming up in a few weeks. When he told me about it last month, I quickly made plans to lose 25 pounds, grow out my hair, and memorize ten witty one liners. (My favorite? “If all the girls who attended the Hazelwood prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.” (High five, Dorothy Parker!)) The 25 pound thing? I failed. The hair? Shorter than ever. The one liners? Yeah, probably a waste of time when you consider the fact that I spoke to less than five people at the neighborhood party last weekend. So, anyway. Here we are. Sort of dreading the reunion. Not really looking forward to going through this again. Feeling like a frumpy wife with no quips.

Last night, Jeff went out with three of his friends from high school. When he returned, I was told that none of the friends’ wives are attending the reunion and that I now fall into that “none of the friends’ wives” set. Immediately, as I tend to do, I turned my exhaustion at the thought of GOING to the reunion into anger at NOT being able to go. Isn’t that pretty? I’m a whirling dervish, but not nearly as awesome as the authentic dervishes! I’m happy! I’m so sad! I’m sweating for no apparent reason! I love you! I despise you! Let’s eat marzipan!

Take Note: The girls called a family meeting, where the following announcements were made.

Meredith is no longer Meredith. She is Claire.

Harper? She shall switch off (with no warning) between Jordan and Daisy.

No one calls me Mommy anymore. I am Vanessa.

Jeff? Tom Roger. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

20 thoughts on “All I wanted was to dance to a Milli Vanilli tune. Thwarted again.”

  1. I would have gone through the exact same type of dervish behavior. Although I am not personally a fan of marzipan.

    My oldest nephew wanted to be called Sebastian for 2 years when he was 4 – 6. Around the time of The Little Mermaid. He wanted to be a lobster apparently.

    Did the girls have reasons for the names they chose for themselves and you?

  2. Lori–(I don’t believe I’ve ever had marzipan!) Claire is Meredith’s middle name. Jordan is the winner of Big Brother. Daisy is Harper’s favorite character in the Mario games. (Um, not that we let her watch television or play with the Wii…) Vanessa and Tom Roger? I have no idea.

  3. Vanessa,

    Nice name. 45 mintes into our reunion last year, my husband asked if I minded if he and another of our classmates husband went to the movies. I said no and so they went. I think they had a much better time at the movies…lol.

  4. I like Vanessa. It’s a good name. I think you can pull it off. :)

    As for the reunion, you should high five Tom Roger & then get yourself some of that Dehli Chat (or whatever it’s called) that you love so much for dinner that night. Then feel free to whirling dervish him all you want the rest of the weekend. But after you make out with dinner, you might not want to. Because food fixes everything. :)

  5. Well, Vanessa, I’d just be thankful that you don’t have to dress up or be judged for how you chose to dress up. So says the woman whose husband has only kept in touch with maybe 3 people from high school and we live in the same city he grew up in.

  6. Can you call him Jolly for short? Even though Jolly is longer than Tom? Just so you can call him Jolly Roger? Why am I thinking there should be a “d” in there somewhere? Where the hell is my coffee?

  7. So, this is like the United States of Tara, only it’s the United States of Pudding? If Harper starts drinking bourbon from the bottle, be afraid, be very afraid. Not because she’s only, what, 6? but because the next step could be *gasp* starched petticoats….

    Also, chocolate coated marzipan rocks. No lie!

  8. So if she’s Claire, can I be Meredith?

    I went to high school with a girl named Vanessa. She had beautiful long hair. Perhaps you can channel her for your next reunion.

  9. Vanessa. hmmm…you know, I think they pegged you.

    OMG crop top and belly hair – so very 80’s.
    theres a great graduation pic on awkwardfamilyphots that features a crop top.

  10. Have the girls ever seen Phineas & Ferb (not that they ever watch television, mind you ;-). The evil scientist’s goth daughter is named Vanessa. just a thought.

  11. So if she’s Claire, can I be Meredith?

    I went to high school with a girl named Vanessa. She had beautiful long hair. Perhaps you can channel her for your next reunion.

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