Monday morning couldn’t guarantee…

Don’t you hate NaBloPoMo folks like me who tend to puke drivel at the last minute?


…I watched a guy tune our piano.

…I practiced the piano for the first time in many many years.

…I worked on my freelance project.

…I finished up a review that’s due tomorrow.

…I made a spontaneous dinner plan.

…I enjoyed sushi.

…I tucked the girls in.

And now I shall finish a hat and read a chapter of Middlesex.

But before I go, here’s what I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about: Ellen DeGeneres was on Oprah last week, and at least ten of you just clicked away because you know that any thought process that starts with “Ellen DeGeneres was on Oprah last week” probably isn’t going to be interesting. And I couldn’t disagree with you more. So give me a minute. At one point, Oprah told Ellen that something she has noticed is that Ellen is not fearful of confrontation. Ellen answered by saying that not being afraid of confrontation is new to her—that she’s always been afraid of people not liking her, and has spent a lot of her life wanting people to like her, and that one of the things she has learned as she got older is that it’s not about people approving of what she says, it’s all about if she’s believing what she’s saying and if she’s being completely honest. “I don’t want to be hurtful, but I want to be honest.” I’ve been thinking about that statement every single day. The Pudding House has been experiencing a lot of half birthdays lately, and last week I turned 39 and a half. At 39 and a half, it took Ellen DeGeneres on Oprah to help me See It.


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13 thoughts on “Monday morning couldn’t guarantee…”

  1. Well, I’m 39 3/4 and I am just starting to learn it too. Realized lately that one of the reasons I’m so grumpy all the time is because I still spend so much energy doing things that I hope will make people approve of me and like me even though I know better. It’s totally crazy behavior and yet a very hard habit to kick. I think it’s going to be a few more years before I can finally stop caring and start being way more authentic.

  2. What set me free was when I heard something to the effect of “you wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought of you if you realized how little they did”.

    How are you liking Middlesex?

  3. I like that thought about honesty. It’s one of those things, like “just be yourself” that’s easy to say but difficult to master. Good luck with your hat! I’m trying to finish a Juno Regina myself.

  4. Thank goodness for Twitter updates or I totally would have missed yesterday for NaBloPoMo! Some may consider it cheating. I consider it thinking outside the box!

  5. I want to give Oprah the benefit of the doubt but either that was a scripted “observation” or she did absolutely 0.0 percent research on Ellen before they met. Ellen’s entire stand up comedy persona (the one that got her a sitcom and led her to be the danciest talk show host since…I don’t know, who danced before her?) was based on wanting people to like her and on not rocking the boat (the whole “Yes I am Lebanese” gag?). Several times in interviews or even in the actual stand up sets she said exactly that.

    I think maybe I sound like I’m raining on your Epiphany Parade, I don’t mean to do that. I love Ellen and I think it’s cool that she’s getting good at confrontation and that she’s talking about it I’m just kind of disappointed in Oprah’s research and/or writing staff. They got to do an Ellen interview and they did it stupidly? What’s that about? (OK, I haven’t seen the interview so it’s probably not all stupid but that part made me disappointed.)

  6. Kizz–I will admit to not being a huge fan of Oprah, but with that said, most of the Ellen interview didn’t seem highly contrived. (You would have to watch it to see the context of Ellen’s statements—they had talked about what happened after Ellen came out and how she spent three years (if I remember correctly) not being able to find work and wondering if her career was over, etc. I’m sure the interview is available somewhere.)

  7. Honesty really is the best policy in my book. I just witnessed that this evening as I had to confront a parent about their childs behavior in my class. I was just honest and upfront about the whole situation, and it turned out very well. Ellen’s statement holds very very true.

  8. I saw it too and really enjoyed the interview. I did watch The Oprah because of Ellen and found hr thoughtful and dare I say wise.

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