Eau de Hand Sanitizer

Despite the girls’ weirdness with coughing and stomach ailments, the parent/teacher conferences went surprisingly well. In fact, both girls left the elementary school feeling ultra-confident and super-smart, and the moment we got into the car Meredith took the opportunity to judge MY performance.

Meredith: Mom, I think we should talk about YOUR report card. You’re sort of mean.

Harper: And immature.

Me: If you think *I’m* mean and immature, how do you feel about Daddy?

Harper: Well, we’re ALL a little IMMATURE. Even the cats.

Me: Wait. So, I’m the only mean one in the house?

Meredith: You just need to learn how to offer us more choices. Like if we’re fighting, instead of yelling at us, you should say, “Okay. Here are your choices. You can either keep fighting, or we can go out for ice cream.”

Today, because there is no school, Jeff is home from work, and I quietly confessed to being headache-free with the new glasses: Meredith is trudging around the house with a puke bowl, and a feverish Harper is still coughing as if she has taken up a fairly severe smoking habit. We’ve canceled all weekend plans and have decided to hunker down with a heavy dose of liquids, stomach-friendly foods, and couch time. (Meanwhile, Jeff is cleaning out the basement. Superman.)
By the way, make sure you go over here (if you want) and play for laughs! You could win $100! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

7 thoughts on “Eau de Hand Sanitizer”

  1. It’s no surprise that the girls received great reports from school. It IS surprising to hear that you are mean. That cracks me up. I’ve been told that I’m mean since about…well, a long time ago. Now, I just use it as my excuse. Something I said is not to peoples liking… “well, you know I’m mean, right?!”.

    We also sound like we’ve been smoking all of our lives. I call it our “horse coughs”. This weekend, we’re also staying in, disinfecting and going to catch up on at least 8 chapters of “To Kill a Mockingbird”!

  2. I love Meredith’s suggestion. We all need more choices. This would work at the office, too. “You can either keep kvetching about all the meetings, or we can go out for ice cream.”

  3. today, my son bemoaned the fact that everyone in the entire world yells at him every day, and wondered when it would be up to HIM to choose consequences for ME.

    This is after both husband and I cleared our schedules to take a family outing to see Mega Mind.

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