Me: Jeff, I’ve been paying attention to the commercials this year, and it looks like you’re supposed to either purchase a car or diamonds for me for Christmas.
Jeff: I’ve got you covered.
Me: So, what did the television convince you to buy?
Jeff: I actually went off the grid and bought you a car made out of diamonds.
Me: Excellent. Imagine how stunning that’s going to be when I try to drive during the next ice storm!
Jeff: Best of all, it’s never going to scratch, so it was totally worth the completely debilitating amount of debt we’re now in.
Me: We might not be able to gas it up, but it sure will be pretty.
Jeff: You’re welcome.