Talk to me so you can see what’s going on.

About a month ago, I finally got a laptop. With the freelance picking up, it felt like a good time. So, I brought the laptop home, I named him Ira, I got to know him, and a few days into our relationship I discovered that he had a camera. SO, I fired up the software and immediately found that I appeared upside down on the monitor. I spent about twenty minutes adjusting settings, but I never found anything that flipped the image over. Because I don’t believe that I’m supposed to be holding the laptop upside down (or standing on my head) to capture images, Jeff and I took the laptop back to the store to take advantage of our Geek Squad free subscription. (The subscription came with the laptop. Everything’s coming up roses!)

After doing EXACTLY WHAT I HAD DONE with the adjustment of the settings for about fifteen seconds, the Geek Squad guy said these words: “It’s a faulty computer. I’m just going to give you a new one.” He then folded up my laptop, walked away, and returned carrying a new laptop in a box.

Me (sputtering): Wait. What about the stuff on my laptop?

Geek Squad Guy: Don’t worry. We’ll clear it out.

Me: But the stuff! The stuff I put on it that I might need! I need a few minutes to look at my stuff!

I then spent about three minutes writing down these exact words in one of my little notebooks:

Old freelance files
Two photos

And then we left (and went to Cracker Barrel!), leaving Ira behind. The old freelance files? I have the current files on the Mac, so they’re good to go. The two photos? I don’t  know what they are, other than upside down photos of a very bewildered me. Photoshop? Yeah. That felt like a tiny punch in the gut, but it’s all cleared up now. The New Ira, who I simply call Ira, is working like a charm, and everything is right side up and lovely.

Let’s see. What else? Meredith has a slight case of pneumonia, which I always thought was a serious thing, being that my grandmother died from it and all. BUT, she was cleared to return to school today (I’m once again talking about Meredith), and will be on antibiotics for the next three days. Dead birds are falling from the sky, and pneumonia no longer walks uphill both ways. Something wicked this way comes.

I used to be one of the most easy going people I know, but now it seems that I cannot deal with salt and pepper unless I grind them myself. I’m writing it off as One of Those Quirks That Appear When A Girl Turns Forty, along with my new fascination with the Clarisonic Mia, which I’ll tell you all about if you want to hear it. (I don’t need any hateration on the Mia, by the way. I know it’s expensive. I  know it’s a face washing system. I know. I know! I got one for Christmas, and I now spend my entire day looking forward to my nighttime Washing o’ the Face. The next time you see me, I’ll probably look no different than the last time you saw me. HOWEVER, I’ll be glowing from within. Because of sonic skin cleansing. I know.)

Jeff is leaving tomorrow for Palm Springs. Last year during his trip, our furnace went out and I became one of those ladies who sleeps with a fire starter under her pillow and listens to furnace guys tell sob stories about bloody urine. This year we have a different furnace, a new way to wash our face, and a sea salt grinder. Bring the noise, Public Enemy! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

18 thoughts on “Talk to me so you can see what’s going on.”

  1. Yay for your new Ira! I just got one too and now I can skype. I feel so technologically advanced. I am old. My cute nose crush was Shawn Cassidy. I think I was 7.

  2. I grind both my salt and pepper and have for years now. I’ve done it for so long, in fact, that I openly judge people who don’t grind theirs. Next step: Using a mortar and pestle for all of my spice-based needs.

  3. And you wonder why I nominated you for most humorous blog writing (or whatever category that was and to which your other readers should certainly also nominate you by going *here*: and doing what it says to do.

    I know, I know…all those web awards are nothing but a popularity contest, etc., etc.

    But geez, people, Angela is popular. And Angela is humorous. And gosh darn it, we like her!!!

    And now, on top of all that, she glows from within!

  4. I splurged on a new laptop for myself just before Christmas. It has a camera. Now I find myself unreasonably paranoid when in front of the laptop just in case the camera is somehow on and I’m not aware. What am I doing? maybe I make a weird face that i’m not aware of. Do I move my lips when I read blogs?

    Not sure who I think may be watching me (if my laptop camera somehow turns itself on without my knowledge) but there you have it.

    I’m intrigued by this skin care thing you have. My newly-40-year-old skin could probably use some buffing (or whatever it does). hmm.

  5. All the cool kids are grinding their own salt and pepper.

    We Skyped with my daughter and her husband Christmas morning so that we could open gifts together. It wasn’t quite as nice as actually being together but better than nothing.

  6. Pretty soon you’ll need extra fancy sea salt in a variety of colors. But that urge doesn’t come until 40 1/2.

    How funny what a difference a year makes! Here’s to your new furnace and Ira!

  7. At 41, you’d rather leave an herb out of the recipe than use one from a jar if you can’t use fresh (that you’ve grown yourself).
    & @Sir and Jodi, I thought that I was the only person who judges people by their choice of spices and grinding thereof. I love my smoked salt! It’s fabulous on sliced cucumbers.

  8. Oh my god, I only have two kinds of salt in my kitchen right now, and neither of them am I grinding myself. What self-respecting 41 year old would allow that? At least I have the peppers in abundance. Whew, almost a save.

    Please do a review of the Mia, I have very sensitive skin that insists on aging. Does the Mia help dry sensitive skin glow?

  9. I’m with you with the salt grinding thing… why oh why… do you think it turning 40? oh god.

    What will it happen in 10 years? scary. Although you’ll be fine, with your facial thing and all…


  10. I have been thinking about getting a Mia. But I’m an impoverished grad student, and they’re so expensive! Sundry posted about hers today too. It sounds pretty great.

  11. Well, I’m 25 and I look down upon those who don’t grind their own salt and pepper, so there.

  12. I bought a combination pepper/salt grinder about seven or eight years ago. While I love it, I noticed lately that it doesn’t really grind it kind of grates by moving a little rough plane over the pepper or salt depending on which way I have it turned. Either way, I love it but I have been known to use regular salt and pepper to cook with when I need a set amount quickly.

  13. Just thought the copy for the face washer was funny:

    Leaves skin feeling softer “nad” smoother

    Let’s hope you’re just washing your face :)

  14. I got my laptop last Christmas. I’ve kept my camera lens covered with a post-it after reading an article about kids who had checked out school laptops and taken them home and administrators spied on them with the built-in webcams.

    My computer is my own. No one should be able to see me through the webcam, but I can’t bear the thought of sitting and typing and someone watching. I’d be less freaked out by a camera in the bathroom I think. Somehow the thought of someone watching while I type is weirder and creepier. I’m a freak.

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