When I was in the seventh grade, I went to a dance. Less than thirty minutes after arriving (and feeling like someone from another land as I watched over 100 people smiling and air-knocking simultaneously to Who Can It Be Now), I knew that dances were not my thing. After a bit of semi-frantic wandering behind the scenes, I quickly learned that the student council members were running the snack booth in shifts, so I wandered over and struck a deal.
Me: I know I’m not part of the student council, but my change-making skills are impeccable.
Popular girl: You have to be on the student council to work here. We each have to work a thirty minute shift.
Me: I understand that, but I also understand that it’s only a matter of time before Centerfold starts playing, and you would probably rather be dancing to THAT than hanging out back here. Me? I would rather be selling Coke and Laffy Taffy than just about anything else right now. I CURRENTLY HAVE AN “A” IN MATH.
Popular girl: Well, if you promise not to steal any of the money…
Me: I’m BAPTIST.
For the rest of the night, whenever a student council member would show up for a shift, I would kindly relieve him or her so I could continue to hide behind the metal box of quarters. I Never Went To Another Dance. Ever. No. Not Even Prom.
The list titled Things I Hope My Daughters Don’t Inherit From Me is longer than you think, and one of the items on that list is “483. My complete inability to let go and dance.”
On Saturday night, Jeff took Meredith to a dance celebrating the 99th anniversary of Girl Scouts. I am pleased (elated, even) to report that Meredith never felt the urge to sit in a tiny room and sell candy bars. (I put together the following video (with a bit of my own editorial commentary, because my opinions are Important when it comes to Ke$ha) as a bit of a souvenir for Meredith. Feel free to watch it if you want.) ((Also, please know that had I been at the dance, I probably would not have allowed Meredith to keep jumping off of those bleachers. Buzzkill, thy name is Pudding.))
Only One More Day for This One!!! I’m giving away some more energy-conserving light bulbs, and I would love for you to win. People have been leaving some great tips on how they conserve energy around the house! Come on over for your chance to win!