Meditation and Sweaters

Headache Doctor: So, are you currently taking any medication regularly other than Zonisamide and the multivitamin?

Me: I take a sleep aid at night.

Headache Doctor: How many times per week do you take it?

Me: Well, probably three times per week. Maybe more. Mostly more. Okay then. Seven nights per week.

Headache Doctor: We need to get you off of that. Ideally, you should be able to fall asleep and stay asleep without chemical intervention. What is your caffeine intake?

Me: I drink two or three cups of coffee each day, and I try to finish the final one before ten in the morning. With that said, I’m definitely stretching the truth, because here it is, almost two o’clock in the afternoon, and I’m drinking out of a Starbucks cup! Busted! I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT DECEITFULNESS!

Headache Doctor: Knowing that you SHOULD drink the final one before ten is a good start. Have you ever done yoga or meditation for relaxation?

Me: We joined a gym about three weeks ago, and I really should check the schedule to see if they offer yoga classes! AND, now that I’ve said that sentence out loud, I think we both know that the last thing I’m going to do is check the schedule to see if they offer yoga classes. I’m scared to death of the gym. There’s a pool there. I have no idea how to swim, I have no desire to learn how to turn on a stair machine, I know what a Kettlebell is, but I sort of feel the urge to cancel friendships with anyone who asks me to swing one around. I hate the smell of sweat. I feel awkward during all time not spent sitting on my couch, and sometimes I feel awkward when I AM on my couch. So, yeah. I take pills to sleep and sometimes I drink coffee all day. You should see my Hanes Her Way underpants. Dear God, I’ve got problems.

From there, it continued to sputter downhill. Eventually, I found my way home from the headache doctor (I see her again in May. I really need to knit that woman a pair of socks for dealing with my Crazy.), and I immediately logged in to Audible where I downloaded Buddhist Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield. I am not Buddhist, nor do I buy into meditation. (The thought of being barefoot makes me a bit jittery, and once I’m on the floor I can’t get back up very well. Perhaps I need to take a class at the gym! Or swimming lessons! I know. Oh, people. Don’t hug me.)

Anyway, I’ve now put the meditation guide onto my iPod, and I’ve started listening to it every night for the past five nights. Get this: I haven’t heard more than four minutes of the silly thing because I keep falling asleep and not waking up until a cello starts playing at around the five and a half hour mark. In other words, I’m in bed taking in more than five hours of God knows what (accompanied by pan flutes!) while I slumber like a stinking baby! Meditation? Yes. It totally works. Passively.

(I really need to find out if hypnopaedia was truly discredited as a method of learning, because if I could be getting my realtor license or something while I slept, I would feel a hell of a lot more marketable. Imagine the possibilities!)

Hey! I finished a sweater. It’s a Liesl made out of Cascade 220, and I sort of want to make a cotton version (not so green, maybe?) with short sleeves to wear during the summer months.

Totally unprepared am I to face a world of men! (In my new Liesl cardigan!)
I am drinking Tropicana Pure Premium and giving away a $100 Visa Gift Card! Leave a comment for your chance to win!

I went shopping at Walgreens, and now I’m giving away a $100 Walgreens gift card! Come on over! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

32 thoughts on “Meditation and Sweaters”

  1. I started taking swimming lessons this fall (41–haven’t taken a class since I was 10–and that was swim level 1) and honestly it is the best thing I’ve ever done. My blood pressure went down! I think that might be related.

  2. Love the sweater!

    There are yoga DVDs out there. Also, try tai chi.

    Not a swimmer?!!!? Really? You really and truly need to acquire this skill. What if you’re around water and one of the girls falls in and get hurt? Or you fall in? You need to at least be able to tread water and find a way to get out to dry land. Besides, warm water is very relaxing….

  3. I totally believe that you can learn while you sleep! Proof: my college roommate-slash-piano performance major “studied” for listening tests in music theory by playing her audiotapes on a continuous loop every night before a test … and not only did she ace theory, but hell, *I* could have aced theory! And I was a political science major! No kidding, 20+ years later, I can still differentiate between the various forms of Gregorian chants.

  4. You can’t swim? You can’t come to Australia if you can’t swim. Nosireebob. How are you ever going to feel the joy of sand in your cossie where sand should never be if you can’t swim? Also, meditation is great for sleep. I have one that starts with you relaxing your feet and I’ve never gone past the knees… zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  5. I love the green! It’ll look great for summer with a little white t-shirt, too.

    I love yoga. I love swimming. I don’t do enough of either and wish I could do more because they’re very relaxing activities. But I hear you about the gym thing, I feel the same way about treadmills and weight rooms. Ick! Ick ick ick!

    Shake up the meditation thing and try one of these relaxation exercises: Though I suppose you can learn to be a realtor instead. :)

  6. When I was at my worst post-college level of I-forgot-to-have-a-plan insecure, a friend lent me a subliminal self-esteem tape. I put it into my car’s cassette player (shut up) during my drive to work and, after about 4 minutes of driving, I said out loud, without thinking, to no one: “I am worth knowing.” I was stunned. I kept driving and, after another 4 minutes or so, I say out loud without thinking “I am a good person.” Gah! I turned it off and drove to work. When I get there, I look at the tape cover — ‘Do not drive or operate machinery when listening to this recording.’
    Apparently it was designed for sleep only, and I have since learned that I am extremely susceptible to subliminal suggestion. Scared the crap out of me, and I have never (intentionally) listened to one of those mental tapes/CDs/digitalrecordings since. Or have I?

  7. I had a Christmas gift for you, but I might as well give it to you now. It’s The “Learn To Swim n’ Gym Through Meditation” CD. Wake up and you’re Michael Phelps (sans bong) in a female body.

    I have to jump on the “swimming is awesome” bandwagon; it truly is revolutionary and great fun in terms of exercise. The pool is one place you’ll never smell or see sweat.

  8. I love the sweater and the color is very pretty-I like the little white t-shirt idea. Classic. Now the headache. Are you eating enough?-especially carbs. I am not a Dr. but I play one on T.V. Also, sometimes a person has to be VERY honest with themselves and figure out what is the bother. We women want to be PERFECT in every way, so if this is a problem, QUIT IT NOW. Get rid of the ants-Another Negative-Thought. Say over and over-I am a good person. In the words of the great Charlie Sheen-Winning!

  9. I love the green! I can dog paddle and float but that’s about it. I never exercise if I can help it but really really need to. I wonder if I can sublimanally lose about 30 pounds before my endocrinologist appointment next week?

  10. LOL! As long as it works, who cares if you’re not truly meditating. Personally, my favorite thing on my iPod to fall asleep to is Melody Gardot. Jazzzzzzzzzz……

  11. I’m willing to be adopted so you can knit me things. Then you could also knit my daughters some sassy hats. Is that weird?

    Maybe you can just start an etsy shop?

  12. Sooo….any other recs? The husband sort of FORGOT HE HAD IT ON AUTOPAY FOR 3 YEARS and now I am desperately trying to use all our accrued credits before we get charged again. So far I have children’s foreign language stuff, a few Jewish things, and at least 3 more credits.

  13. Totally get the meditation thing — it was the only reason I went to term with my second baby!!

    This one is great, too…something blah blah two hemispheres of the brain blah blah blah asleep in a few minutes blah blah blah well rested blah…..

    Anyway, if you feel like a change this one is GREAT. I love LOVE it.

  14. Okay – so I have to jump in on the gym thing. I feel ridiculously self concious when using any of those machine things. Also, hard, and not particularly fun – and I have learned that if I am going to exercise, it has to be fun. Otherwise, there are fifty bagillion things I would rather do (read, knit, etc.) and it falls to last on the list in a nanosecond.
    BUT – I do take yoga. I have my own mat (no sharing of bare feet or body parts) and I do really like it. It is fun for me (Aha!) because I really like the balance poses, and I really like the particular teacher. I am pretty sure if I didn’t like the teacher, that would be the end of that. (I have many videos to show for the fact that if I am not hooked in five minutes, the video will sit and gather dust, just like all the others….. )

    It is very relaxing, and if you get the right teacher, it is challenging in a “Hey, I can do this thing that I never tried before” way. I think maybe the live teacher thing wins over the video thing because I can get to know the teacher, and I like real people better than video people.

    Als0 – I started taking a Latin Hip Hop aerobics class. But, I remember that you were not a big fan of the dancing – so that might not be for you. (Or maybe it is….the music is fun and the people at my class are all my age or older and are nice and fun, and it’s kind of like Cheers where they welcome you and wonder where you went if you don’t come).

    ANYWAY – I share your gym aversion, but maybe there is something you will find fun?

    Let’s face it – I am in a gym phase, but I’ve never made it stick, so 3 weeks from now, all this could be but a memory.

    I hope you find something you like! I hope I can stick with this for more than 3 weeks!
    Good luck to both of us, right?!

  15. I am another yoga lover! I also have my own mat. (I prefer not to downward-dog where someone else’s sweaty bits have been.) For at least the length of the class, I am definitely more relaxed.

    It has also helped me to breathe, which sounds weird but all the yoga people surely know what I mean.

  16. The sweater is pretty and I like all the greenness of it!

    I laughed out loud at the Hanes Her Way comment.

    Also, thank you for the other night. (I’m not going to explain further – I sort of like the thought that people’s imaginations may be running wild. But feel free to set them straight and tell them how you’ve agreed to help me paint my house or something. OK?)

  17. Oh, Tessie!
    You look beautiful!
    (I have a migrained friend at work and she takes vitamin B and it has changed her life.)
    (Don’t you love assvice?)

  18. Wow, I LOVE that sweater (ESPECIALLY the greenness of it.) And I have to say, you look exactly like Meredith in that pic (or Meredith looks just like you in that pic…or something like that.)

    Oh, and while I’m blabbering, I’ll add that I would love to be a swimmer but alas, am not.

  19. I love to swim; but mainly because I feel like I weight 119 pounds when I’m in the water and let’s face it that’s the only time I’ll be that light!

    I also love the gym, and I never used to. But I have a great personal trainer that is hilarious and makes the time go quickly. I also work out in a gym where everyone is with a trainer so no-one is standing around ogling; that makes it more of a happy place for me. (It’s not cheap, but not as expensive as I thought)

    I can’t get into yoga. I always feel very weird and not calm or meditative at all. One of my friends takes hot yoga and apparently it can be very competitive and I’m not good at that kind of thing.

    Have you tried a noise machine? I have one that plays all kinds of nature sounds and I’m zonked out within 10 minutes with that thing.

  20. gawd woman- you are gorgeous!

    and that sweater! i love that color! you are so talented.

    the sound of water relaxes me – unless it’s the sound of my frantic splashing as i drown because i can’t swim a lick either

  21. That green sweater is absolutely smashing on you! You are killing it, lady. But none of that is a surprise to me.

    Meditation is the shit. I mean that in the best way. I tried it three years ago to start getting my life together and it’s my own sacred time.

  22. Ok, now if it had been me in the dr. office I would have been awkward AND sweaty, so kudos to you for your social skills.

    Now, Joan has me thinking. I’d like to differentiate between types of Gregorian chant, and learn physics and about a billion other things, so maybe I’ll give hypnopaedia a shot. Can’t hurt, right?

  23. Happy April Fools day! Someone came into work early this morning (or stayed late last night) and changed all the names on the attendance board to hollywood personnas. Elvis *was* in the building for a while this morning, as was Lady Gaga and Bugs Bunny. Yes, it was quite the sight. Made me giggle!

    (I know that had nothing to do with your post, but I love the Liesl pattern for a sweater and I think a short-sleeved version with a big button on top in cotton would be fabulous for spring/summer, especially with one of your cute skirts–I’m planning on sewing something for myself this summer if I ever get any free time and a-line skirts are my friends!) (and I’m glad you’re able to sleep without the help of meds now–must be a relief!!)

  24. I’m a night owl with a day job (notice the posting time) and I bribe myself to go to bed with audiobooks on my iPod (woohooo free downloadable audiobooks from the library!). I’ve found it’s best if it’s a book I’ve previously read otherwise sometimes I lay there and listen and listen and not sleep.

  25. I take a sleep aid, Lunesta, that I recently learned can cause headaches if taken 7/7 nights per week. I’ve had a headache for a month, fluctuating between certainty that it’s a brain tumor or knowing that I must stop that obssessive blinking tick I’ve developed over tumor worry. That said, if I don’t get sleep then the migraines start to creep in and then the brain bleed worries start…. When you do the download do you take the sleep aid?

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