Not all boys are jerks. But sometimes their parents are.

I’m coming to you from Kansas City, where our hotel shower feels like machine gun fire, and the pool is often filled with young boys who are here to participate in a baseball tournament. Last night I actually ventured out in my swimsuit (for the first time in years) to enjoy some pool time with the girls. When I noticed that the pool was filled with over a dozen boys hurling baseballs at each other, I joined the girls in the hot tub for a few moments, and then I headed back to the room to knit while the girls swam in the pool with Jeff.

This morning we walked over to the breakfast area, where the girls (with their new American Girl dolls) chose a table that faced a table full of baseball boy parents. When the waiter brought special high chairs to our table for the dolls (I know! It’s part of the package!), one of the moms at the next table rolled her eyes, sighed, and LOUDLY said, “I’m so glad I didn’t have girls. I can’t deal with all of that trouble. I can’t do dolls.” (She said this after traveling over 300 miles for her kid to play baseball in stupid hot temperatures! I suppose everyone has their own definition of trouble!)

Me: Shut up.

(Not really.)

Me: I’m just wondering how you’re able to teach your son manners if you don’t have any manners of your own!

(Not really.)

Me: Mmmm! Smell those pancakes! AND, know that girls tend to outperform boys in olfactory sensitivity tests! So, it’s actually EASIER to have girls than boys! You know, when it comes to smelling things and taking tests on what you’ve just smelled!

To me, kids are kids. Girls don’t have to “do” dolls just like boys don’t have to “do” baseball. You do what you do. Also, some parents are assholes. I try my best not to be.

Whoosh! I’m now coming to you from Columbia! Time keeps on slipping, and we’re off to fill my need for broccoli pizza and orange soda. Have I mentioned that we’re just a little over $1,500 away from Aaron getting his bike? This is such a good thing. (Donations are still being accepted! Feel free to join us as we reach our goal!) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

13 thoughts on “Not all boys are jerks. But sometimes their parents are.”

  1. Are you sure we aren’t related? I swear we are so much alike. I am beginning to think I am better off at home than having to deal with some of those people. Glad you were able to just “think” those things. One of these days the words just might come tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them. lol

  2. Hopefully, she did have any more children at all. Usually Midwesterners are the politest of the bunch, but times appear to be changing.

  3. Rude. She’s jealous because she had to sit out in the hot watching boring baseball while you got to hang out in air-conditioned malls. She probably needed a hug.

  4. Right, she was jealous. It’s great to have two little girls who love their American Girl dolls — and all their accoutrements. Spoken as a mom with two twenty-something daughters who still love their American Girl dolls. Which did they get? We have Molly and Samantha (who has been “archived.”)

  5. I highly support broccoli on pizza, much to some people’s dismay. In my case, however, I find that it nicely supports the more meat-ful aspects of the rest of the pizza.

    Recently, I’ve had to put my tact engine into overdrive to keep me from dropping the hammer on mothers doing incredibly passive aggressive baloney to other people similar to your experience. Shifting the engine into overdrive kept me from yelling things like, ‘Hey, I bet you had that kid out of wedlock, based on the fact that you’re wearing a shirt that shows off your tramp stamp, which is Klassy with a capital ‘K’, and also you smell like bad perfume and failure.’

    Not very constructive, but it might be pretty satisfying.

  6. 1. You were in Kansas City?! Next time let me take you out for breakfast. I know where all the best pancakes are in Kansas City.

    2. Yay for American Girl dolls! Someone told me they charge $20 to pierce their ears. Is that truth or fabrication?

    3. All parents have the potential to be jerks. I once had someone say to me in a very condescending tone, “You poor thing!” when I said that I have three boys. I was proud of myself for responding, “I actually feel quite lucky.”

    4. That being said, boys can be agressive in swimming pools. Also on playgrounds. And at bedtime. (I am exhausted.)

  7. My cousin took her kids and some of her sibling’s kids to that very said baseball thing (Little League Championships) but as they live in KC. As she has girls and boys, and brought them both, I know she wasn’t the one who rolled her eyes at you!

    Amy, The American Girl franchise charges for doing their hair, makeup, and ear piercings. The ears seem to be only $14 here, shipping will take it up to $20.

  8. Here’s another one like Mitzi’s above: Girls go to college to get more knowledge, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider!

    I think that’s a jumprope rhyme, but I also may have heard it on some children’s book on tape, can’t actually cite my source.

    I have both and find merits and flaws in both. Parents like the ones you sat near are everywhere. Judgy McJudgersons. Fie upon them.

  9. I am happy to have a boy that plays in baseball tournaments during crazy hot weather (and crazy cold weather) and girls who take their American Girl dolls (and saved dollars) to tea at the Chicago store. I’m also happy that both my girls play sports, and that my boy is usually the first in the family to cry at a sad movie. I’m also happy to report that as a mom much more into baseball than dolls, I enjoyed the American Girl Doll tea and store immensely. I love how they celebrate what is unique and wonderful about each girl. And it wasn’t as over the top and fancy as I had feared; my crazy, funky, girly-girls were the norm. I’m not happy that the baseball mother was rude at breakfast and hope you know that not all baseball moms would act in such a way.

  10. I love you, and I truly think that we are soulmates. That is all.

    I would have put a highchair into her temple. But that’s just me.

  11. I have a friend, who has no children, who loves to make comments like that to me about things we do or do not allow our daughter to do. It is frustrating and annoying, but luckily I am able to make those comments that who had to imagine…

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