Just this one time…

You know, when I’m in the mood that I’m in right now, I typically don’t log in and write at Fluid Pudding. BUT, here we are less than a week into NaBloPoMo, and I’m leaving the house in a few hours and won’t be back until super late, so now you get to see me cranky. Lucky.

The morning started with me losing a few double pointed needles. And that’s not really a big deal, except I need one of them to finish a project. (I bought a set of five. I’ve been able to find three. I need four.) And, again. This is not a big deal, but when you add the lost needles to the fact that I just wasted nearly TWO hours at a department store trying to find something (anything!) that would serve as self-confidence gear for the event I’m attending this evening, and I came up with nothing, well, it feels big. Honestly? I tried on something like fifteen sweaters and jackets and shirts, and NOTHING looked right. (I kept my pants on, and I’m glad. Otherwise, you would be getting a lot of typos right now because I tend to not be able to type through tears.)

Also, the store was playing Christmas music. I love Christmas music, but when you’re trying to find a jacket that DOES NOT HAVE A BELT and Mariah Carey is screaming at you, it makes for a really crappy three minutes. And another thing: I know parents often have to shop with their toddlers and that’s totally fine with me because I’ve been there, but: Please don’t act like I’m the audience in your little stand-up routine with your kid. If you egg your kid on to say something funny, I might give you a courtesy smile. But that’s it. Don’t keep going. Don’t keep getting louder.

Mom: Brendan, what did you just say?

Brendan: The lady in that picture is pretty.

Mom (looking at me to make sure I’m listening): You think JENNIFER LOPEZ is pretty? DO YOU THINK *I’LL* LOOK AS PRETTY AS HER IN THOSE CLOTHES?

Brendan: Yes.

Mom (still looking at me): BUT *I* DON’T WEIGH 80 POUNDS LIKE J. LO!!! HA HA! ISN’T THAT RIGHT, BRENDAN?!?!

Brendan: Ummmmm…

Me (in my head, obviously): HA HA HA HA! No, you don’t! RIGHT, BRENDAN?!?! NOT EVEN CLOSE!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!

I couldn’t even find a shirt, although I tried on ten shirts. I shall now log off and say the F word. Twice.

Tomorrow will be happier! It will! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

17 thoughts on “Just this one time…”

  1. I hate it when parents treat their children as trained seals.

    We went to a department store to find a winter coat for my husband and YES the Christmas music, NO NOT YET GAH.

    Here’s to a better tomorrow. :)

  2. Hope things improved. Frustration level at DEFCON 10. If there were J.Lo clothes at this establishment, can I assume you were at Kohl’s? I haven’t had much luck there lately, and I used to love Kohl’s. Where does a woman of a certain age (40ish?) shop these days? I haven’t a clue.

  3. I’m with Laura! ^ I haven’t found anything there for me for ages. Still great for The Littles but once you hit double digits you’re out of luck, in my experience…

  4. You go ahead and say finuculi finucular as many times as you need. Hate performance parenting of the sort you describe. Particularly the “See what a good mum I am” type. I dinnae care for it.

  5. Second Kathy G. What is up with stores these days? If they’d make and sell the clothes in my head, I’d buy them all. But until then, I just steel myself against the despair.

    All that positive shopping attitude goes out when shopping under pressure however. That’s so often a complete disaster.

    And I heard the Christmas music on Friday night at the mall too. Left quickly with only a black shirt. Couldn’t deal with the “holiday” shopping yet.

  6. Aw…feel better! Wear your awesome glasses and one of your beautiful sweaters or that pretty, yellow jacket. Where are you going?

  7. I just keep thinking of that scene in the “The King’s Speech” where the King is saying “F&ck F&ck F&ckity F&ck”. Try using Frack. It comes out at the same speed, with the same intonation, but offends nobody. Also, thanks for the plug, I got another customer! You rock, Mrs Pudding, whatever you’re wearing.

  8. I loathe Kohl’s. Everyone raves about Kohl’s but I’ve never found anything there that I even wanted to try on. It’s either waaaaay too young or it looks like something my MIL wears.

    I’ve had good luck at Loft lately. Especially in pants. I love anyone who comprehends that some of us have hips.

  9. Also, zippy pair of earrings and a cute scarf will always get compliments and then no one ever figures out you are wearing black pants and a white shirt. And Target has some really cute sweaters right now – apple green even! 20 bucks.

  10. Whenever I shop States-side, I go to Burlington Coat Factory–yes, you have to dig through the racks but generally I find something that makes me feel good about myself–especially since the sizes are smaller than the ones I would have to try on in Canada. (a L in Canada would be a M in the States)(at least at Burlington Coat Factory)(and they have Carter’s for kids–perfect for my monkeys)(and it’s in Rochester, which is where we tend to go. I never find anything I like in Kohl’s)(and sorry for going on and on like this).

    So yes. Wear a nice long sleeved grey or white shirt, add a vest (of which I’m sure you have many) and wear an adorable necklace–the happy one you showed us–it made me happy to see it; it should make you happy to wear it.
    Hugs & blove–something will work out.

    I just chopped up my jack-o-lantern last night and baked some pumpkin muffins this morning for breakfast. I added chocolate chips to make me happy! And you’re already getting ready for Christmas gifts?!! I suppose you have to order them now from Australia, but kudos to you!

  11. “I tried on something like fifteen sweaters and jackets and shirts”

    Well, there’s your problem. You should try them on one at a time!


  12. I have the same problem with shopping. I can try on 20+ items and still not find anything that makes me feel great. I wish my mom lived closer. I miss shopping with her.

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