To Kale a Mockingbird

This is Tuesday’s haul from the produce co-op.

Co-Op Haul 4/9/12

We scored cilantro, two bunches of kale, bananas, cherry tomatoes, Baby Bella mushrooms, broccoli, green peppers, limes, lemons, corn, zucchini, garlic, mangos, oranges, and pears. All for a total of $23.

Now I shall share a dark secret with you.

I have never eaten kale before.

On Wednesday afternoon, I typed Kale into Pinterest, and quickly came up with 4,392,493 recipes. 4,392, 490 of them were for kale chips. (My numbers might be a little fuzzy.)

Because I’ll eat anything whose birth had nothing to do with a canal, I knew kale chips had to happen. (Side story: When I told my mom that I was going to make kale chips, she said, “Well, Ice didn’t like them very much when Coco made them.” My mom and I live in two very different worlds.)

Here’s what I did: I de-spined my kale and threw the leaves into a bowl with a few tablespoons of olive oil. (I took the spines and buried them in the back yard with my placenta! I’m just kidding!)


I then mixed the leaves and olive oil together and threw it all onto a foil-lined baking sheet, where I sprinkled it with sea salt while listening to Enya.

Mixed up with olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt...

Finally, I baked the leaves at 350 degrees for twelve minutes, removed them from the oven, and placed them upon a plate with some Carolina Creole.

Kale Chips and Carolina Creole!

(If you don’t know Carolina Creole, you should probably get to know it. Jeff cooks shrimp in it. I dip chips and vegetables into it. I almost feel like when I use it, I’m one step closer to hugging Bobby Flay. (In my world, that’s a good thing. He voted for Andrew Cuomo. Politics! Look at me!))

Do you see that plate of kale chips? I finished it off in less than ten minutes, and then I made another batch. Later that evening, I made another batch, and this afternoon I’ll make another. I’m going to keep eating kale chips until my body is GLOWING with sulforaphane. (If you really are what you eat, imagine what could happen if I became a sixty-six inch breathing model of anticancer. Dream it and achieve it, Oprah!)

Kale Chips. Make some. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

22 thoughts on “To Kale a Mockingbird”

  1. Ohhhh yes, baby! And, y’know what? If for some completely unfathomable reason you have a few left over, or maybe some crumbs on the bottom of the pan, you can keep the crumbles in a little shaker jar (or a baggie, or , heck, just whatever you like to keep things in) and sprinkle them on all kinds of things — eggs, rice, salads…

    “Kale Sprinkles” You heard it here first!

    PS: If anyone is interested in patenting this concept and going into production I seriously expect a cut from the profits!

  2. Maybe it just happens to me, but I find when I eat a significant amount of kale chips (and I ALWAYS eat a significant amount), I need to stay close to the facilities . . .

  3. I don’t care what you got in your CSA and to be honest, I didn’t even read the entry yet. because I couldn’t get past the title. BEST. TITLE. EVER.

    (disclaimer: I don’t know why I find it so funny. I may need a nap.)

  4. I’m jealous that you got green peppers and mushrooms in yours! We did get two big bunches of kale though so I’m planning on making kale chips for movie night tonight. Because I am exciting!

  5. I’m not sure where my haul came from, but I scored Jimmy Johns BBQ chips and a Vito sub.
    Now I shall share a dark secret with you.
    I have eaten these things more times than I can count.

    (Done commenting – Ice Loves Coco is starting.)

  6. Well, if Ice didn’t like them, I probably won’t either.

    (just kidding. I had kale for the first time on Valentine’s Day. So romantic.)

  7. I eat kale all the time, but have never tried chips because I heard they were hard to get right. Maybe I’ll try your way.

    Other good things to do if you get your fill of kale chips before the kale is gone: add it to whatever else you put in your stir-fry, chop it up smaller than for chips and add it to soups (especially anything that might be creamy with potato but all soups are fine), sauté and use it in a frittata. All good.

  8. The worst thing about kale chips is the part where you realize you’ve eaten ALL of them in like 30 seconds and then you remember how freaking huge that bunch of kale was before you made chips out of it. Oy.

    The best thing about kale chips is everything that isn’t that.

  9. Kale chips….must have some now! ((shaking fist at Fluid Pudding on computer screen))

  10. I love you for eating kale! I have been wanting to try kale! I asked my friends for recipes but everything they gave me involved…actually cooking it into something. (I thought they knew me??) I cannot wait to try this.

  11. Are you disturbed that your mom is this intimately acquainted with Ice and Coco?

    Your kale chips look beautiful. Mine always get a little burned.

  12. Confession: I bought Kale at Trader Joe’s this week because I knew my babysitter was going to have to prepare Gus’s food this week. I have no idea what to do with Kale. I just wanted her to see it:)

  13. Now I want to try Kale chips! Just catching up here…glad you renewed for two more years! YAY!!!

  14. Every single recipe a friend of mine posts on Pinterest has kale in it, so I’ve snubbed my nose at it because Enya just seems so early 90’s.

    But you’re funny, so maybe I’ll try it. And my vegetable bin in my refrigerator is bare so that means I’m doing something wrong.

  15. i’ve made kale chips a couple of times…and really liked them too! i’m currently in the middle of finishing the remnants of easter bunny ears and the hidden eggs i find in the corners of the house that weren’t found in the ‘hunt’…

    now i don’t know how to say this that it sounds like a compliment…but i’ll forge ahead…my kids always tell me i have a weird sence of humour (kids age range 26-2 yrs old) and when i read your blog i am always happy and relieved to know that there is someone out that makes me laugh as much as you do!! thank you thank you thank you…!

  16. Sulforaphane. Huh. I guess that’s why my fridge got so stinky when I forgot about some kale in it. I should have made kale chips.

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