Iron Maiden is on my running mix. And you think I’m kidding.

Although I’m a bit disappointed in myself for turning Fluid Pudding into a weekly thing, I believe it’s fair to blame my silence on the uneventful summer. The writing on yesterday’s calendar space says “library, store, piano, knives.” Today is “coffee/knitting, root beer.” Tomorrow? “Henry Express Groom! FroYo?” (Actually, that one is pretty exciting. Because Henry has anxiety issues and this is his first grooming, I paid eleven dollars extra to have three groomers work on him at the same time. This means he will not be put in a crate at any time during his grooming, and we’ll hopefully have him back home less than three hours after his appointment begins.)

I’m failing the summer reading program at the library, and I don’t really mind, because I’m splitting my time between knitting a sweater, spinning, freelancing, and reading. I did finish Juliet, Naked last week, and this week I started both Pride and Prejudice and Catching Fire. I’ve already read more this summer than I’ve read in several months, so I refuse to beat myself up over the fact that my reading card will not be entered into any drawings to win free roast beef sandwiches or a tote bag covered in embroidered quotes. (Meredith and Harper have already finished the summer reading program, and have filled out several “extra” sheets for raffles. Last week Meredith won a pair of tickets to a St. Louis Blues Hockey game in October. She has already packed four books into her vacation suitcase. In it to win it.)

How is the running going, I’m pretending you asked? Yesterday morning I completed Week Five, Day One of the Ease into 5K program, and it nearly killed me. Run five minutes, walk two minutes, run four minutes, walk two minutes, run for five again! Walk for two! RUN FOR FOUR! I did the whole thing after spending the night tossing and turning and Mr. Darcy-ing and Katniss-ing. Tomorrow I will try W5D1 again, as I refuse to move on until I’ve completed the workout without feeling venom bubbling up in my legs. I was a galloping hate cow yesterday morning, and that will not do. The scary thing? (For me. Not you. Unless you scare easily.) In five short weeks, I’ll be running my very first 5K with my sister. And it’s not just any 5K. Because I need to be kneedeep in the hoopla, we’ve signed on for this:

Confession: I cannot watch that video without crying. (I now have medication.) I’ve warned my sister that I might drop to my knees and sob as soon as I cross the finish line. I may go all tribal and start beating on my chest and howling. I may simply walk up to someone and punch them in the jaw with my colorful fist or French kiss them with my multi-colored tongue. There’s a good chance that I’ll rip off my clothes and streak with the hope that people will continue to throw powdered color at me. (I’ll then roll naked across a white sheet and auction it off to anyone who might be interested in a powdered state-of-nature painting.)

I’ll start the bidding at $4. In the meantime, I really need to stomp out the remaining four weeks of training. Let me know if you need anything. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

16 thoughts on “Iron Maiden is on my running mix. And you think I’m kidding.”

  1. Want to thank you (again) for the link to the Mark Twain nominees – it has inspired much reading at my house (and much lamentation over books that have LONG RESERVE LISTS!!)
    How is that going for Meredith – does she have a favorite so far?
    My children are keeping a page tally – fun! And we are also keeping a math tally -fun! And our library doesn’t offer prizes – but WE do.

    My children discovered lanyards at the playground program – even my littlest is doing it. I will soon have MANY brightly colored key chains – like fuse beads I’m not sure we’ll know what to do with all the output – but it is fun and cool in the meantime!
    I have been getting up to walk in the morning. I am not running – BUT – my coworker – this is her quote “tried to jog” and ended up with a stress fracture. Your combined experience is discouraging to me…….so I walk on.

    That color thing looks very inspiring! Go you!!!

  2. My Allie dog had an AWFUL time at one of those big-box pet stores when getting groomed (the one near the Brentwood Trader Joe’s, this was years ago when I was still in StL.) She freaked out over all of the loud noises and is especially nervous around dogs she doesn’t know.

    I was REALLY upset when I arrived because apparently the blow-drying process was her breaking point, so instead of, oh, I don’t know, calling me to come pick her up, they leashed her to a chair in the back room and had several of those big fans aimed at her. (The kind office buildings use to dry off carpet, and I’m pretty sure it’s the same thing they use to blow up those bouncy castles.)

    ANYWAY. All of that is to say that for the past few years I’ve had all of her grooming done by one of those mobile pet groomers. The kind with a van that pulls up in your drive way and is self contained for water/electric/etc. The only noises she has to endure are the ones for devices being used on HER, she doesn’t have to deal with a bunch of other dogs in the room making her nervous, and every single time she has come back to me smiling and happy.

    I get both pets groomed at the same time, Allie gets a bath & her winter/summer coat brushed out, and Tutter gets a bath & shaved (Maine Coon cat + summer = misery) and it usually costs about $110 total, which was less than what that nameless pet place charged me for the same services for both. I don’t know what the break down is for just the dog’s grooming, (though I know the cat is more expensive, maybe it’s a $50/$60 split?) but it might be worth looking in to for Henry’s peace of mind.

  3. Dude!

    1. We have a mobile groomer for Rascal and it/she is the BEST THING EVER. She shows up at the house in her fully equipped trailer, hooks up to our water and electric supplies, grooms/bathes El Guapo, and then she leaves. No more expensive than regular grooming and NO KENNELS and no leaving home. I love it. I am an unrepentant shut-in, however.

    2. I WAS TOTALLY JUST THINKING ABOUT READING PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. I have never read it. I think I might want to.

    3. Galloping Hate Cows will be the name of our folk rock duo. You play the ukelele, I’ll play the maracas. (Unless you want to play the maracas. I’m pretty flexible.) We’ll do Iron Maiden covers and bring treadmills to all our shows. It’ll be awesome.

  4. When I check in and see that you haven’t posted I know it just means you’re out having fun without me. And that’s fine! So, go. Knit. Run. Read. Play with the dogs. Play with your kids. Have a life.

    We’ll be here when you slow down a little and have lots of more interesting things to tell us about.

    Me, I’ll be sitting here wondering about all those people breathing powdered pigment. It’s beautiful, but I worry.

  5. Hmmm… I am a life long fan of The Irons. Was kinda hoping to find out watcha’ been listnin’ to. Couldn’t open the vid on my iPad so I feel like I’m missing out on a crucial piece of info this time. Doesn’t matter. I’m back from vacation and dreading returning to work in the worst way so the grey matter isn’t firing on all cylinders anywho. (wow, that was the worst mixed-metaphor I’ve used in a long time). Rambling, rambling, rambling… going to bed, hoping to wake up with a different job. Ahhhhhh, stressed. Panic, anxiety, rambling, rambling . Put me down for five bucks and a sack of green pigment…always liked green. Rambling, ramblin, rambling.

  6. When I was running (that’s right WHEN, now it’s too stinking hot outside to even blink), I found it really helped to have a completely random playlist. I would be chugging along, arse flapping in the wind, and all of a sudden Van Morrison would end and Moves Like Jagger would begin. And then, just like that Canadian alt. folk! C & C Music Factory! What?
    The Colour Run is the way to go. I’ve never done it but man, it looks awesome. I’m considering one here in September where zombies chase you to the finish line and attempt to steal your Life Flags. I’d likely just run up to a zombie, hand over my flags and put an end to the fear.

  7. I did the Color Run with some friends here in Chicago last month after not running an inch since September. It was a blast. I highly recommend it.

  8. I am TOTALLY roadtripping to St. Louis to see you and Kathy as the Galloping Hate Cows perform at a folk festival. I can play the triangle in the crowds and pretend to sing all the words.

    Good luck on the 5K, I think if you are going to do it, doing it as a big multicolored celebration is definitely the way to go. Post photos!

  9. Join a book club is on my list of things to do… please know, I don’t actually have a list, but running a 5k is on it too. I also remember that I was going to restart my blog….just remembered that last night, but since my summer is not as productive as yours has been, maybe now is not the right time?

  10. Yay, a new post! I’m doing the Ann Arbor Color Run with my sister a week from Sunday. I also worry about people breathing all of the color pigment, but I think it looks like a blast! Can’t wait to read about your Color Run. Good luck with your training.

  11. Galloping Hate Cow. Yes, that is me when I’m running. My trainer always starts off my workout by sending me running with the 20-something couple that floats along while I plod and snort behind them.

  12. We were signed up for the KC Color Run but had to bail due to the two 6 year olds and their strep infections (also the 107-degree heat).

    I know you’ll kill it! (The run, not yourself. (Or anyone else.))

  13. Disgraceful is how I describe my blogging. I even renewed the domain and paid the fine people doing the hosting for another year. And yet…nothing. Too much other stuff happening, I say to myself, which is actually horseshit of the worst stench. But I didn’t come here to chide myself. That was just a bonus for you. I really came here to say that you can add excitement to summer plans through the transforming majesty of punctuation: “Library! Store! Piano! Knives!” Now that’s a life worth living!

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