Two Days Out

I wanted to check in and let you know that the surgery went well. The endometriosis was cleared, and all of the parts that were supposed to be removed were indeed removed. (Removed, indeed!)

Although it has been over 48 hours since I woke up and received a dose of morphine, my vision hasn’t yet cleared and I’m still sort of engaging in nervous jabber. I repeat myself and I repeat myself. (And I repeat myself.)

Anyway. Did someone just ask for photos?

This is me in the pre-op room. I took the photo as a lab tech was performing a pregnancy test. (Not on herself. She was CLEARLY pregnant.) My test was negative, so they quickly put me to sleep and rolled me away!

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This is me several hours later after my family had gone home. Please know that Meredith’s DARE graduation is coming up at the end of the month, and here I am completely doped on narcotics. In my defense, I WAS in a hospital bed and NOT trying to drive a car. (Take note that I scored a backstage bracelet to the Drug Allergy show!)

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Suddenly, it was really late at night and that’s a great time to take a solo trip to the restroom and then pull up Instagram and some saltines to celebrate my independence. (Bonus Fact: Those are the first socks I ever made. I knew I wanted to take handknit socks, so I wore the ones that were okay to get goopy. Because who knows what might happen?!)

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At something like 3:00 in the morning, I woke up and started thinking about how much I love the photos that Stieglitz took of Georgia O’Keeffe’s hands. (If you click on that link, the photo that appears is the photo I took in when I had Georgia O’Keeffe’s hands tattooed onto my ankle when I was 22.) Anyway. 3:00 in the morning. Georgia O’Keeffe. Morphine in my IV and me with an iPhone.

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And then the morning came, and it was time for me to call the food service department and order breakfast.

Food Lady: Food services, how may I help you?

Me: I’m in room 2316 and I would like to order breakfast.

Food Lady: What can I bring you this morning?

Me (realizing that I should have chosen food before making this call): Hamburgered eggs?!

Food Lady: I’m sorry?

Me: No! That’s weird. I saw hard-boiled eggs and scrambled eggs and I read it as Hamburgered Eggs.

Food Lady: Would you like eggs this morning?

Me: Ugh. No. Wheat toast.

Three hours later, Jeff picked me up, took me to Starbucks, and drove me home.

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And because last night was a rough one, I decided to spend the day with zero pain medication. (I hate the haze. I struggle to make sense when I’m completely straight. I don’t need medication to make me more aware of my tendency to drone wackiness.)

And now I’m sitting in the rocking chair and staring at my old bug mobile and hoping that I heal just as quickly as everyone else is hoping.

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Thanks for checking in on me. I’ll be back when I can. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

29 thoughts on “Two Days Out”

  1. I’m glad you’re healing. I think you’re wonderful. You may have inadvertently started something on my website, but I’ll let you heal a little more before I tell you about it. <3

  2. imagining you under the influence is totally making my day…..
    another friend of mine just went home from the hospital with a ‘Fall Risk’ bracelet and I was jealous that I have never reached ‘fall risk’ status…. also no allergies, so I don’t have that bracelet in my memories box

  3. I don’t even know where to begin saying how happy I am that they did not remove your sense of humor along with the lady bits. Swift healing thoughts heading your way, my friend!

  4. I have that very food service phone number memorized but never thought to ask for hamburgered eggs. I am glad most of you is back (minus the pesky part that were surgically removed). If you are still have a rough time tomorrow pain wise, perhaps take 1/4th of one pill. The blurry vision, etc could be from the OR drugs. Just my unsolicited advise- feel free to ignore it!

  5. Happy to hear you’re on this side of the procedure and it went well. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

  6. You are a cute drunk. Good to know you are home.

    When you want to be amused, ask Jeff to describe what you did and said in recovery. Just wait till you’re healed enough to not pull any stitches.

    Rest now. We’re happy to wait.

  7. Glad you are ok. I’m with you on ditching the narcotics ASAP. I’ve always found that haze to be the worst part of recovering from my own medical this-and-thats.

  8. I am glad you are doing well. You be easy on yours elf. Abdominal surgery is not easy. I had a three in one surgery in January and have to have a two in surgery in a couple of months so I can relate in a small way. Sending you healing thoughts!!!!!

  9. I don’t like the how the pain meds make me feel either. After my surgery I maybe took one dose of Oxy & then quit them. I had the angry sads when coming off of them. Here’s hoping the time passes quickly for you during your recovery.

  10. Glad you are doing good, your mom will be bringing you a goodie bag when she comes sunday. (not food.).

  11. Been thinking of you, knowing you’re groggy but fine, and then I found myself at Starbucks (where I never am) but I ordered an Oprah iced chai tea latte (I think) in your honor, and it was good–peppery. So be well, friend.

  12. Aw, friend.

    My SIL (and best friend)(and running partner) had a surgery for her endometriosis last week.

    Big hugs. HUGE hugs.

  13. I have had two bouts of hospital dope that were glorious. And I had one that made my body hum like when one talks into a blowing fan at 1 inch away — that’s called an allergic reaction. And one that left my left eye dilated and was cause to bring in the stroke team.

  14. I am not good with the pain meds either. I’d much rather ‘deal with it’ than be hazy/pukey.

    But I am so glad you’re good! (Okay, on your way to good!)

  15. Glad you’re home. I spend my entire time in the hospital trying to keep them from putting gravy on my food. Why do hospitals love gravy so much?

  16. When I had surgery to repair a broken ankle I took a picture my darling, the morphine pump. Couldn’t find it later to put on my blog. It appears weeks (months?) later on my phone. Such is the nature of the post-surgical haze.

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